My daughter

@Tina30219 (37462)
Onaway, Michigan
February 12, 2012 8:25am CST
I need to get everyone's advice on this. I have been having trouble with my daughter's middle school since she started there she was in the resource room there because she needs extra help in certain areas and they said she was doing so good she did not need it and removed her. Then she started failing her classes. Here is where we are now with it. I talked to the assistant principal and the teachers finally see something is going on. She is ADHD as well and on medicine for it. We had her tested for learning disability a year ago and it came back borderline what I don't get is how a person having this much trouble in school is bordeline. They are going to help me get her re-tested because I told the assistant principal I feel she needs it and she agreed. Waiting now on the paperwork to come for for the IEP meeting.This has also caused trouble in school to the point of her getting in school suspensions over it. We have other options but we want to see what the school is going to do first to help fix this problem. We also if we can't get the grades back up by May will be holding her back at their request and mine. So this is where we are at on this. Suggestion on what to do if this was your child?
5 people like this
10 responses
@free_man (7337)
• United States
13 Feb 12
Hi Tina and welcome to my lot. I am so sorry to hear your problem. Did you try teaching your child yourself? I did this for my children beacuse I wanted them to get good grades in school. If you can my friend teach her as much as you can. And good luck in what ever happens!
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
13 Feb 12
Yeah we work with her at home we try to help her as much as possible but the way of teaching has changed since we have been in school and it confuses her when we try to teach her. I am going to work with her more on her reading and have her do more over the summer. I know a lot of the bookstores have summer reading programs so I am going to have her doing them all. She likes to read the problem is when it comes time for testing.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
29 Feb 12
Thanks we know all about working with a child with ADHD our son is Autistic and ADHD only he did not have none of the issues my daughter is having he was an all a B student. My son now is out of High school he graduated and got his diploma. Now he is getting ready to start a job program and get a job. We have my daughters IEP tomorrow and her doctor is going to be attending it with us she is going to push them to re-test her for learning disability and also get her back into the resource room.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7337)
• United States
29 Feb 12
Hope all goes well with your daughters testing. You must be real proud of your son!
• United States
12 Feb 12
I went through all this with kk and it was the school that did most of the work. She could not pass the ninth grade no matter how she tried. she ened up being asked to leave the school becuase she did 4 years in the 9th grade. now she is out of school with no where to go but ged. with her not on meds for the adhd I can't see her passing her classes. so I am done with it now it is her life she is grown and needs to deal with it. at least your daughter is on her meds. mine will end up in prison if she does not get some help soon she is very disruptive to others in life.
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
12 Feb 12
My daughter has some of the issues your daughter has in the classroom. But now it is getting better it will get even better once she is back in the resource room. I hope your daughter will get the help she so deserves and soon.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Feb 12
My daughter does not want help. she will have to fall in life before she will even begin to ask for any help. Lord knows it will just about kill me.
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
16 Feb 12
Sorry to hear your daughter does not want any help. Maybe you are right and if she winds up in prison maybe then it will teach her and straighten her up. I hope that is not what it takes.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
14 Feb 12
I'm surprised that they are not just putting her back with her IEP. They really don't need to re-test her as she has already been diagnosed with ADHD. Then again, there is so much red-tape that the schools have to go through now to just give kids what they need. You have to be very pro--active when dealing with these issues.Go above the school and talk to the head of Spec.Ed. in your area. The very fact that she has already been diagnosed with ADHD is enough to qualify her for Special Ed. which includes the resource room. I'm not sure if holding her back in middle school is a great idea. Holding them back at that age does a number on their self-esteem which is also very important at that age. I think that even summer school might be a better option?? Good luck with this, Tina.
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
14 Feb 12
The re-testing is not for the ADHD it is for the learning disability part. I am thinking very seriously about going to the head of special ed if they do not get on the ball and get this IEP set up. We only have til the end Of May to get her grades back up to where they we're at.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
14 Feb 12
Hi Tina, hmmm..now that's interesting because I would have thought that the ADHD alone would be enough to signify a learning disability and therefore code her for an IEP. Where I live, it is. Where I live (NH) it is or at least it always was. My daughter that was coded has been out of school for 8 yrs now so a lot could have changed since then. What I would find the most irritating here is that while they jerk around trying to figure out HOW to code her and help her, she is losing out and sliding further behind. I think the system sucks to be honest. They see a need and they should be able to just help rather than go through all these hoops to qualify her for the help. My story was really quite opposite from yours but equally as frustrating. You are your child's only advocate. Hang in there, be vocal and keep a paper trail. The paper trail is very important.
• United States
14 Feb 12
Ive been told by the dchool they believe my don is adhd...an recommended i had him tested..he went from straight a to d's barely passing. hes very hyperactive an it makes everyone nuts. i dont wana medicate him i think to a point its wrong an should b avoided if at all possible. i know to many family members that did with thier kidsan it was a bad mistake. So i readup an this is what works for my son. 2 gummy omega 3 vitamins....for brain function in the morning plus 1 kids chewable focus formula that i get at a erbal shop..its grapeseed extract an such all natural. the next thing i did was change his sugar intake...careful tho an b patient i went to fast an he was grouchy an irritable for about a week. i pack his school lunches with sugar free flavored waters an snacks or low sugar snacks. i try to keep sugar as low as possible during school hrs. i also realized he wasnt getting adequite sleep cause he had so much energy hed toss nturn inbed for hrs an not go to sleep so 1 hr b4 bed we do quiet time. this consists of sleepytime tea with splenda an i make him sit with me an watch tv or read a book. Whatever it is it must be quiet an calm. sometimes this is a fight. but its helped. next on my list when the weather gets better im enrolling him in a karate class. its alot of work dont get me wrong it b easier to give him a pill. my son is very hard to deal with but hes worth it. i dont like medicating unless absolutey every other option is exhausted.
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
14 Feb 12
Thanks for the information I will have to try this.On top of my daughter's ADHD she is ODD as well I was talking with a friend that is a nurse and she said birth control helps with that so we are going to talk to the doctor about it when she goes on the 20th.
13 Feb 12
based on my opinion you should frequently together with her so you can control and give your daughter managing and always give her motivation.
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
13 Feb 12
We give her a lot of motivation and help her quite a bit when we can because the work has changed since I me and my husband has went to school. There has been times where we used to live where I had to send a note saying you have to help her we can't do it.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
12 Feb 12
Hi Tina, so sorry your daughter is having problems in school. I seems like a lot of children are going through that tough time in school... I hope the problems in her class were not pepetrated by the classmate knowing she was borderline ADHD...classmates can be really un-pleasant sometimes. I think that if you continue to work with the school to get the very best education possible for your child.. Good Luck to your daughter!!!!!
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
12 Feb 12
Thanks. It is borderline learning disability she has that and also ADHD. Oh you better believe I am going to keep in very close contact with the school I am going to keep on them til something is done.
@maximax8 (28925)
• United Kingdom
12 Feb 12
I had a challenging time in the autumn term last year. I got in a lady from Supportive Parents to a meeting I had with my disabled son's teacher. I never want to have another meeting like that because the head teacher was there too. I am lucky that the teacher is the special needs coordinator. My disabled son has a lovely lady that is his full time assistant. If I was in the same situation as you I would get more special needs testing and try to get my daughter to improve at home. Good luck with the IEP meeting. I hope things at school with improve for your daughter.
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
12 Feb 12
I almost sent a message to the special ed teachers they have 2 at the school and explained what is going on. But I did not want to start anything.She will be starting tomorrow math tutoring classes after school. We will see how that goes. I talked to the assistant principal Friday and she said they are all starting to realize there is a problem going on. We have thought on more that one occasion of homeschooling but there is a lot of reasons why we have not done it.
• United States
12 Feb 12
It sounds to me like you're doing all you can really do. I don't know if hiring a tutor would help. Does she have an IEP (individual education plan) that helps your family and her school stay on top of things?
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
12 Feb 12
Yeah she has an IEP. That is what makes under me mad about the whole thing is it was under an IEP when she was removed from the resource room. Which I realized after the fact we signed the paperwork for it. But it was caught now and something is getting done. Not to be mean but I hope something shows on the test so she can get more help than just for math. Math was the only class she was in resource for. But once the testing is done it may be for more that just math. As for the tutor thing she works with her friend that is another 6th grade student and gets straight A's but so far nothing is rubbing off onto her. We know when it comes to tests is when she has problems also.
• United States
12 Feb 12
I would have her placed back in that resource room ASAP! Was it the test that took her out of that room? or her grades? I would fight to put her back in there on the basis she has ADHD and needs the extra support. I don't know what classes she's dong the poorest in however my kids are younger and I found an inexpensive tutor for them. I figured if they can't get enough help or someone who can meet their needs I will go out and get further help. My girls are not medicated as of yet and I don't feel that at their age they need it. But they are a different story. I am also in a position of worrying that they will fail my 6yo because she is VERY immature and I had asked them to possibly hold her back when she was in 4k but was told not to so now she continues to struggle and my oldest is dyslexic. Keep us posted on how things go.
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
12 Feb 12
Yeah she is going to be placed back in the resource room waiting on the meeting to discuss it. She was getting pretty much all A's when in resource room. I am going to tell them under no circumstances will she be pulled again even if she is doing good. I mean come on that is why she is in there is because she needs it. The report card she just her grade in social studies which was an A dropped to a D.I asked where we use to live to have her held back they said sorry we can't do that because it will harm the child further and she will get teased. So we will see what happens once the meeting happens and after. They only have til the end of May and school will be over so they better get busy soon. We waived the 10 week notice so my friend said it should be coming up soon since we did that.
@GardenGerty (105287)
• United States
12 Feb 12
I would be right in there, advocating for her at the public school first of all. I would make sure that she has summer enrichment so that she does not lose ground while school is on break. I would, if possible, plan fun things for spring break that help her learn without her knowing it. Active things, especially. She may learn better if she involves body movement with her learning. She also may benefit from computer games that reinforce learning. I have seen good progress with things like Reader Rabbit. Your daughter needs you and the school to work together to get her the best possible outcomes.
@Tina30219 (37462)
• Onaway, Michigan
12 Feb 12
The thing that upsets me is the assistant principal did not realize how bad this has gotten. She was in the last IEP and I requested that she be in this one. This has been going on since she was in the first grade. The only thing they done was put her in resource room based on the ADHD to get help with the Math. But now it is other topics as well. Now that the assistant principal knows about this she is right with me and my husband on all of this.