Do you expect your spouse or significant other to be a mind reader?

@mommyboo (13198)
United States
February 19, 2012 9:19pm CST
What about your friends? Do you expect this of your friends as well? Why? What is so hard about making suggestions about things you want or don't want, or mentioning things they do that you LIKE or things they do that you DON'T like? There is no way for people to know things unless you communicate it to them in some way. There's a big difference in not wanting to tell someone 'hey, I want this Canon digital camera I saw at Best Buy that's on sale for $169' but yet you might mention that since your old camera broke, a new one would be a nice surprise for Valentine's, or your birthday, or your anniversary... or Christmas. Don't things wind up BETTER if you give people a few guidelines? When are you disappointed more often - when you haven't given anybody ANY clues or when you HAVE?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@jujunme (2414)
• United States
20 Feb 12
I don't feel comfortable asking for things but,if i were asked about a gift i would prefer i wouldn't hesitate to tell the person exactly what it is. i do agree that many times we receive things we don't really want and are disappointed when the person wasn't a mind reader,when in the long run they didn't have any idea what we wanted, because we're uncomfortable making any suggestions.So yes,i agree we should at least give a few hints.
@jujunme (2414)
• United States
20 Feb 12
Sorry for the double response.
@Seppy1984 (2148)
• United States
4 Mar 12
I really like this discussion, I always give guidelines and give hints on what I do and don't like. I even give my opinions when they are asked at times too. Although sometimes it would be nice if they could be a mind reader..lol. Just because sometimes I'm a softy and I don't tell people what I think at all. I can say though that I have yet to figure out why I even let people know what I like and don't like when they cant even follow by the guideline anyways. I guess I have not gotten that lucky yet. Like one time the person who had my name for the Christmas gift exchange asked me for ideas on what I would like or need. I told her pots and pans or even some dishes. Instead I get a bath Kit... I don't do bubble bath and nor do I pamper myself like that. I don't like them. I was so upset that I wasted my time even giving her ideas. But I do give my ideas because you never know unless you speak up!!!
• Marikina, Philippines
21 Feb 12
No. It is okay for me if my friend, husband or anyone not to be a mind reader. The reason is it will be useless. I tend to keep quiet all the time and I do not want to expect anything from them. I just accept them as who they are and what they are. It is just that they have different personality than mine. If there is one situation that both parties do not understand each other is maybe, they are not meant to be. However, some both parties become successful if they just talk it over. As for me, I really do not expect anyone from them. I just accept them as who they are and what they are. If we both do not understand each other, I will better found someone that is compatible to my personality so that I would not feel disappointed.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
20 Feb 12
I don't expect them to be mind readers but I do expect them to remember stuff It is really important to express the way we feel and the things that we want. The truth is that it is pretty dangerous territory to assume that we know this or just expect that someone else does. I have always thought that communication is one of the most important things in a relationship of any kind.
@AidaLily (1450)
• United States
20 Feb 12
I do not expect my spouse to be a mind reader but 7 times out of 10 he is. Those other three times are when I am trying to figure things out and he keeps asking 'whats wrong' even after I say its nothing. I don't understand it, but that doesn't always happen. I don't expect my friends to be mind-readers but they expect me to be. For some reason when they go on a rant about someone, I am expected to know who they are talking about. Its kind of bad. One problem I have seen with some people mentioning what they don't like to a spouse is one or the other always takes up the defensive. Otherwise its easy to say the things you do or don't like in a relationship as long as the other person can handle hearing the negative too. Things wind up a lot better in my opinion if you have those guidelines. I mean after all, you wont be as disappointed if they get you something so completely opposite from what you want that you are forcing yourself to smile. After a while though a spouse/significant other should at least know enough about you not to get those gifts. My hubby knows I hate flower and chocolate, but he loves them. So I got an action movie, shrimp dinner, and we played a video game together. He got the massage, flowers and chocolate. People thinks its weird but they don't matter since they aren't married to us. XD
@kharlav (1672)
• Philippines
20 Feb 12
For husbands, I don't think that they can really read minds; women/wives, on the other hand, can read minds. Women are more sensitive and have stronger intuition compared to the males that's why they usually get a gut feeling about something, especially when it comes to a cheating husband. Women are more emotional and sensitive about things, unlike most of the men (they are mostly logical, which is the opposite of being emotional).
@jujunme (2414)
• United States
20 Feb 12
I don't feel comfortable asking for things but,if i were asked about a gift i would prefer i wouldn't hesitate to tell the person exactly what it is. i do agree that many times we receive things we don't really want and are disappointed when the person wasn't a mind reader,when in the long run they didn't have any idea what we wanted, because we're uncomfortable making any suggestions.So yues, i agree we should at least give a few hints.
@dodo19 (33043)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Feb 12
No I don't expect my husband to be a mind reader, as we always talk things over. Sure, it does happen that we reach others' minds, but it's not something that he has to do. He doesn't have to always read my mind. He can usually do it, because he knows me well. Though I won't get mad if he doesn't.
20 Feb 12
Actually my husband does that He thought I have a mind reader that is why when something is wrong he never vents it and he just keep quiet so when everytime I ask him, he will just say "You don't know what is wrong?" and it's really annoying!
• United States
20 Feb 12
This is completely true. Usually, my boyfriend is pretty good at finding a good gift that he knows I'll like, without me having to tell him. I really liked his valentines day gift, but I was a bit disappointed since I typically expect valentines day to be for sweet, cute gifts. I got upset when really he did nothing wrong. I think things work out a lot better if you give people hints about things, especially if they flat out ask you what you want. I don't expect my boyfriend to be a mind reader, but after 2 years of dating I do expect him to know me enough to be able to come up with his own ideas every once in a while lol
@TeamCholent (2843)
• United States
20 Feb 12
I don't feel they need to but I feel after a while if you really do care for each other you tend to know what the other is feeling and what you need etc. Nothing in a marriage should be forced but one should share the burden equally and do whatever they can for the other etc.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
20 Feb 12
I do not expect my husband to be a mind reader, but after being together for 12 years now, he should be able to anticipate things better. I have no problem telling him what I want or expect. I am fortunate to have a spouse that is accepting of my desires and receptive to my opinions and feelings.
@hunibani (720)
• Philippines
20 Feb 12
Yes I do. I just found out that women are good mind reader, and men dont. Every fight of couple always the girl want their partner to read their mind. That is why men don't understand men. LOL