Was is wrong?
By Blkqueen
@Blkqueen (85)
United States
February 20, 2012 12:25pm CST
My sis had got a tattoo of the memory of my decease son before me & my boyfriend. Do you think if it was wrong for her to get a tattoo before us? The design is totally different from ours. What do you think?
8 responses
@ShyBear88 (59293)
• Sterling, Virginia
20 Feb 12
Well one its her son not your son so it doesn't matter if she got one before you and your boyfriend did. Its her tattoo and she can choice what ever she wants to get in memory of her child. If you want to get on in memory of him as well you don't have to do the tattoo that she got if you want to do the one that you wanted that is fine. Its on your body and if you like it and that is the tattoo you want then get it. Its should be a big deal if someone gets one before you after you with you. It doesn't matter if they look a like or if they look totally different.
Me and my husband we have a tattoo the same one but that is because it was our child that we thought and where told that I had a miscarriage so I wanted a tattoo and even if my husband didn't like it I didn't care. I was what I wanted he like the idea and got the same one. If he got one totally different from me it wouldn't have hurt my feelings.
@ShyBear88 (59293)
• Sterling, Virginia
27 Feb 12
Well still its her body so she doesn't need promise at her age weather to get the same thing or not. Its not a big deal and if your boyfriend has a problem with then you should tell him to grow up. Is your guys kid so it only matter if you two want to match and not your sister. She's just the aunt not the mother and the same would be if was the other way around. Me and my husband we have matching tattoo because we where told I had a miscarriage but then turn out that I didn't. But still for us it was just us two. I wouldn't care if someone got a tattoo the same or different then us if they wanted to. If my husband had and issue with it I would tell him with out even thinking to fing grow up because that is just so childish to care more about someone that they are not with got a different tattoo then what we had talked about. Well its up to you if you want to use the f work. That is how I would say it to my partner and I've had too several times.
@TheIrishClog (985)
• Ireland
20 Feb 12
I don't think that it is a situation where it is so black and white that you can say it was wrong of her to do so.
I don't think that it's a case of we/I loved him more and he was my son so I should do it first. I don't think it should be a race. Perhaps she has her reasons for not waiting until you had yours done, I'm sure she didn't do it to be hurtful.
Have you tried speaking to her about it? What's done is done and I don't think that at this point there is a need to stir up bad feelings between you at a time where you both need each other. She obviously loved your son very much for her to immortalise him on her skin, as do you and your boyfriend.
My condolences to you and your family for your loss x
@Blkqueen (85)
• United States
20 Feb 12
I was there when she got it. I don't have a problem her getting one. She didn't do it for me or my b/f, she did it for the little one. My b/f is the one who has a problem I just don't understand. If he wanted us to get it first I think he should of said something. I didn't had a problem her getting one for her nephew but my b/f has a problem.
@TheIrishClog (985)
• Ireland
20 Feb 12
Men are complicated creatures, I'm sure he has his reasons for feeling upset about it and for not saying anything at the time. You're right, he should have said something at the time. He probably felt that he couldn't for whatever reason, but I'm sure that given a bit of time to process it, he'll settle down and come to terms with it.
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
20 Feb 12
hello, " to each he's own" , this is what is so great about living in a free society like ours (although we live in different countries), so long as no laws are violated, it's not an issue with you so I don't think it should be an issue with your B.F., good luck and hope you all find understanding
@mariab2000 (740)
• Canada
20 Feb 12
I don't think it is something you should be too worried or concerned about. Just because she got a tattoo first in the memory of your son it doesn't mean that you loved your son any less. I don't think she wanted to hurt you by doing this. She did it in your son's memory so I don't think it was wrong in any way...
@juggal0Xx420 (509)
• United States
20 Feb 12
i don't think it really is a situation to be that really concerned about. but that is just my opinion i prefer not to be so dramatic over things.
@Blkqueen (85)
• United States
20 Feb 12
I didn't have a problem her getting one before us. I went with her when she got it. My b/f is the one who has a problem that she had got one before us. I don't understand I thought it shouldn't matter who gets it first its dedicated to my son. It's not like the design is the same its different.
@cuttyrish (2667)
• United States
20 Feb 12
i do not think it is wrong, and if her design is totally different from yours, let it be. She dealt with your son in her own way, different from you and your boyfriend. Her tattoo is her own way of remembering your son. It could not be the same with yours and your boyfriend. It should not be the same your design,because you too are different person. And what is the point in having a tattoo similar with others, you get a tattoo totally unique from others, not the same. Each symbolize each person.
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
20 Feb 12
I think your boyfriend should see that your sister loved her nephew so much that she wanted the memory of him to last a lifetime. I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all. I think it is sweet and just shows her love for him. I don't think the order it took place matters at all, she just might have gotten to it before y'all did. I really don't see any harm in it. I hope your boyfriend can eventually look past the fact she did it before you both did and see that it showed her love for your son.
I'm sorry for your loss.
