I Once Tried To Kill Myself...

March 5, 2012 12:09am CST
This post does not, in anyway, encourage or promote the act. It was stupid, immature and unbelievably funny! I was in college back then and it was driven by my hatred of someone who's supposedly close to my heart, but obviously, she's not. The reason behind it is not the point of this post though. It's just that nowadays, when there is talk of someone taking their own life, I can't help myself from thinking about that day I did try, and then I can't help myself from laughing. When I was in college, I had a heated argument with my grandmother. At the time, the feeling was so intense that I gave in and tried taking my own life. How? I went into the bathroom, poured my heart out, cried me a river and then gobbled half a bottle of medicine. As I went out of the bathroom, I saw her again and she started shouting again, so I went back to the bathroom and took the other half. I can still remember the feeling I had, saying goodbye to all people I cared for. That was the lowest low of my life, so low that I really felt wanting to die. There was a problem though. I didn't die. That was the act, it has a purpose, and it failed. Why? The bottle of meds I took-- Vitamin C. Every time I feel like a headache is coming, or a little churn in my stomach, I thought that was it-- the end of it all. I lost consciousness (I fell asleep), but in the morning I regained it (I woke up). Nothing happened, apart from my immune system getting a boost. Right now, I just laugh at it. It wasn't funny at the time, but it sure is now. I don't like gore so stabbing isn't an option. I don't like pain so hanging myself was a no-no. Apparently, it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. The act itself will never be tried ever again.
2 people like this
5 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
5 Mar 12
To be honest I don't see the funny part of it. No matter if you took vit. C or not.. the feeling was still there and intense. I think it's terrible if you feel that lost and there is nobody who understands you, just yelling at you. i tried to take my life as I was 7-8 years old by jumping out of the window.. I still feel what I felt at that time and for many years thanks to the molesting parents I had and the society who preferred to close their eyes and be blind for what is really going on. Nothing funny about that.
1 person likes this
@wqdayang (137)
• China
5 Mar 12
It's not funny al all. I have been shocked by your story,I have the similar experience when I was young,at that time,I was about fifteen years old,I revolted everybody's advice,I just want to do what I want freely,when I was hold back,I felt sad and angry,so my my mother always shout at me,that make me more angry,I ever think if I was the biological child of my mother. fortunately as I grow up,I became to know I was wrong,I was so stupid,I had made mistakes about my mother,I should be good to my mother.
@fergus (818)
• Ireland
5 Mar 12
almightybong, Sorry but i don,t see a funny side to what happened to you. Theres nothing funny about trying to take your own life.
@stanley777 (7178)
• Philippines
6 Mar 12
I don't find it funny my friend sorry, but the act and actually doing it means you have surrendered. It's good, the medicine you thought will end your life is not the right one. Life is so good so, we must enjoy it the most. Anyway, it's already past and I'm glad you had realize your mistake. Have a nice day my friend.
@Metatronik (5923)
• Pasay, Philippines
6 Mar 12
Well what is the reason again that you almost want to kill yourself? Is that because of your grandmother that you heated an argument with? That is life. At times we just want to end it especially if we can't handle the problems anymore. But good thing you were given a chance to live just to realize something.
@shaggin (39821)
• United States
5 Mar 12
That is sad that you felt so horrible you wanted to kill yourself. I've been through that many times. I have two children to take care of so no matter how bad I feel I just have to keep going for their sake. I'm glad that the pills you took were vitamin c lol.. If they had been something else you might not be here to write this discussion.