Tough decision

United States
April 12, 2012 3:51pm CST
A few months ago my boyfriend's mom told me that we would all be going on a trip to Orlando and she told me the dates for this weekend. A few days after that I found out that my uncle was getting everyone together at a nice restaurant to surprise my grandma on her birthday...the Saturday I'm supposed to leave for Orlando. A few weeks later my boyfriend said we'd probably leave Sunday morning instead, which meant I'd be able to go to dinner the night before. Well now it's changed and we're supposed to leave this Saturday morning. All of my cousins are flying in from Missouri and another cousin is coming down from Orlando. If I went to Orlando, I'd be one of the few grandkids who couldn't come (the other 2 are in the Marines and can't). I really don't know what I should do, my mom said I could choose. I'm not really close with this grandma and sometimes my parents and I don't like the way she acts, but it's still her birthday. But it's also the last trip my boyfriend will be able to go on before he leaves for the army. I'm torn about what to do. If I stay for my grandma's, I'd be upset that I'm missing the trip and I know that if I went on the trip I'd regret not going to my grandma's. It's kind of a lose-lose situation. Technically I knew about the trip before I even knew about the surprise for my grandma. I just don't know what to do. I kind of don't want to go to either of them now and I wish I could just stay home and not go to either one. Deep down I really want to go on the trip since it's the last one before he leaves. I just feel bad and I don't want that side of the family to be upset with me for going to Disney instead of her surprise dinner.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
19 Apr 12
I think you already know what to choose. Why stay if you'll just be miserable? I'm sure you'll get a lot of flak from family for not staying (as this comment of mine would get flak for not choosing family), but like you said, you're not close to her. And your mom has given you the choice anyway. Goodluck!
• United States
21 Apr 12
I did end up going on the trip. My mom really understands and I think she wanted me to go and be happy. My cousins really wanted to see me but I think my grandma and them were ok with it. When I came back I ended up going to dinner with my grandma and my aunt and uncle I haven't seen in a few years. So it kind of made up for my absence a little bit. But maybe once I'm done with this semester I'll take my grandma to lunch to try and make it up to her
@bagarad (11796)
• Paso Robles, California
13 Apr 12
What a dilemma! I don't envy you that decision. Staying home wouldn't solve it, since then no one would be happy, especially you. I guess I'd say to follow your heart. If you don't, you might resent being at the party when you'd prefer to be with your boyfriend. If you think your presence would just be like a trophy to your grandmother, but not mean much otherwise, I'd go with your boyfriend. But take your mom's advice into consideration. If your grandmother wants you there because you are you, go and make her happy.
• United States
13 Apr 12
I think I'm leaning more towards going with my boyfriend because I think that him and his family would miss more me than my grandmother would at her dinner. My mom even said so herself because all of the other grandkids will be flying in and they're wanting to hang out with her. Also, the dinner is just one night, and the trip is 4 days. I'd rather just feel guilty for one night rather than the whole time my boyfriend is on the trip. He's also leaving in a month and I won't be able to see him until late July and then for a few weeks in October. But this summer I'd have more time to maybe see my grandma and go out to lunch with her every once in a while. It's not a fun decision, but deep down I feel that I should go on his last trip before the army. And in all fairness, the trip was arranged before we were told about the party. I think I might just go with my boyfriend on the trip, I'd rather spend 4 days with someone who would really appreciate the time with me rather than one night with someone who wouldn't even care that I was there, she'll just get mad when I don't show up lol.