How do you get a guy when you don't even have a crush?

Philippines
April 15, 2012 8:14am CST
I've been single for 6 months now and suddenly I think i wanna fall in love again. I then realized that "How do I get a guy when I don't even have a crush?". Maybe I'm not pretty enough that guys don't get their interest on me... Should I be prettier? i weight 129 lbs and 5'2 in height... i think im fat and over weight.. Think I need to loose this weight? What you all think?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@SinfulRose (3529)
• Davao, Philippines
15 Apr 12
I don't know but I think in order to get into love, the guy would have to accept you whether you think yourself fat or not. As for your question, even if you don't have a crush, as long as a guy will like you for who you are, you won't have problems in getting a guy. But here's a piece of an advice that I'm just gonna pass along..."learn to love yourself and people will love you." It means if you love and take care of yourself, people will respect you no matter what you look. They will love you and care for you as long as you do the same for yourself. Have a nice day and Happy MyLotting!
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Apr 12
great advice sinfulrose and hope she follows it. My husband told me that when I was feeling sorry for myself since I felt like I looked ugly. he said "Learn to love yourself and p eople will love you as you look like you care how you look and dress. it really did work for me too.
• Davao, Philippines
16 Apr 12
Thanks for the complement, Hatley! It's an advice passed along especially between women for many years already. And it's the best advice I can think of in a situation like this where a woman finds herself...not beautiful. And thanks also for providing a very good example of what I was trying to convey. As an artist I find that beauty comes from within--from the person's perception of himself/herself and how he/she feels about himself/herself. Whatever is inside tends to show itself on the outside. I have been with people that the common of us would find not very beautiful in physical features. But because of how they carried themselves, with grace and poise, they made me and those that surrounds them respect them and see their natural brilliance. And I have to add, their personality is far more beautiful than diamond on my ring. That's the power of one's mind.
@doroffee (4230)
• Hungary
15 Apr 12
6 months isn't that long of a time in my opinion... I think you should accept yourself as you are, try to live alone (which doesn't mean only) and wait for a guy that deserves you and your love... don't get together with someone just because it's trendy.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 12
wow wow your not fat, why would you think that, how do you realize that you want to fall in love again? what makes you want to be in love im curious
1 person likes this
@SKLC_PT (1234)
15 Apr 12
If you want to make yourself pretty, lose weight and so forth for a guy, than the guy you are going to get is not going to be a good thing. You will be, for one, breaking the, be yourself rule when trying to find someone. You will find yourself struggling to be the person you think they want so badly, that you won't be happy or comfortable and end up disappointed. You should be yourself, if you ever want to lose wight consult a specialist, I can't say if you are overweight as I don't know lbs, and I am not a doctor, if you consult you doctor he should be able to tell you if you are a healthy weight, and if you try to lose weight, don't go on crazy diets, they never work, and the ones that work tend to work short-term and cause long-term damages, you doctor should be able to advise, my ex went to his GP, his doctor, that was going to advise him a nutritionist to help him with how to gain weight as he had trouble gaining weight and was skinny as a stick, for health reasons wanted to gain some weight. And the golden rule, the harder you look for someone, the more tense you get, the less chances you will find someone, try to relax a bit, take things calmly. By the way, you can always ask your friends or family you connect with if they know any single people, maybe set up a group outing, look for friendship to start with, and let things flow, group outing are always better as you are less likely to feel tense, you are more likely to laugh, relax, have fun, maybe go to the movies, a theme park, something fun. There are dozens of dating sites, but beware there are a lot of nutters out there also. Remember Rome wasnt built-in a day and nothing works when rushed, don't look to get an instant boyfriend but make more friends and maybe, well you'll never know who you might meet and what it might lead to. And if someone ever lets you down on your looks they are total jerks and not worth your time, there are a lot of sexy woman getting dumped too, so it's not always about the looks, it's compatibility in the end, and any person that uses that as an excuse is likely not what you need.
@SKLC_PT (1234)
15 Apr 12
PS, I've known a lot of allegedly less attractive people in relationships, that are great people, and I've also known a lot of attractive people who were alone and horrible people. It's all about perspective in the end, don't let peer pressure from the world make you feel unworthy!
@smacksman (6074)
16 Apr 12
Some of Smacksman's male gems of wisdom! haha Men like women 'with a bit of meat' on them. I'm always worried about snapping skinny girls by mistake! Men don't like moaners. Oh I'm too fat/thin. My hairs a mess! does my bum look big in this dress? Please! Just enjoy yourself. I have never met a girl who does not have at least one beautiful feature. You can all be lovely to be with! Of course, thank God I am perfect! haha
• Philippines
16 Apr 12
You may want to post your pictures, and see how things turn out.
@kehyrie (54)
16 Apr 12
If you are overweight, then I would say lose some weight. But do it not for the sake of getting a guy because you want to fall in love. Instead, do it for yourself. You need to love yourself first, otherwise, your next relationship might not end up well.:)
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Apr 12
hi siahfearce well start out by liking yourself. You do not sound fat to me and five two means you are petite and should learn to like the body you are in.Just a little make up and do it for a natural look, and tell yourself I am unique I am one of a kind and I like myself. Now dress in a favorite outfit and get out and mingle with other young people.Go to places where people your age hang out and just be friendly but not pushy.,sooner or later you will meet a guy who at least wanted to be friends. from there on anything can happen.Think I am pretty,I like myself, I am not fat, I a healthy.
15 Apr 12
just be yourself, anyway 6 months is not that long, I'm pretty sure that in the right time your prince charming will come even if you don't make an effort finding him.
@trinale (1480)
• United States
15 Apr 12
Ok, first off, 5' 2" and 129 lbs is NOT fat! Don't allow yourself to get brainwashed into trying to look like those skinny a$$ stick people that work the runways and pose for Victoria Secrets! REAL MEN LIKE REAL WOMEN -- WITH CURVES!! What you need to do is "undo" what you've been doing for the past 6 months. If you haven't been feeling the desire for love, then more than likely that's the subliminal signal you've been sending out to guys who may have wanted to approach you. Just be friendly and open and if you see someone you like, go for it! You have plenty of time! Cheers, Stan
@dazzledlady (1619)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
Just focused on making yourself beautiful inside and out. If your personality glows you will surely attract guys. I do not think that we are ugly because I believe that there is someone who will truly appreciate us as who we are and not just the outside look. Dont be too hard on yourself. I am 24 , and haven't found the one or have not fallen in love ever. Single since birth, hahaha im tryig to enjoy what I have now and I think you should. You might meet him in one of your ventures.
@jbf111967 (137)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
You should have to wait for the right time and the right guy. Not all men like pretty and sexy women, it all depend on how you go along once you have met this guy and become your friend. Don`t rush things, your time will come.