Am i ready to marry this guy?
May 26, 2012 4:50am CST
i am now engaged. and its very sad. yes im happy being with him but most of the times im alone and sad. there are times that i think that i no longer want to be with him, that i dont want to marry him anymore. i know that he loves me, but i cant feel it anymore. i know that im important to him but he no longer protect me. what should i do? we already announced to our relatives and friends that we'll be getting married soon. i dont know if its just because of delikadeza to continue this. i dont want it anymore. i love him alot. is it right to back-off? or should i pursue my promise?
1 person likes this
26 May 12
Dear, if he really loves you, he will protect you. What do you mean by saying that he no more protecting you? If lets say, sometime you will be lonely, he have other work etc, that is normal in life. I am alone at home while my husband working early in the morning and go back home late, that because he work hard for our family even our life is damn tough with financial. So don't be sad, we can't be 24/7 with our husband or fiancee or boyfriend. Try to do something that interest him. Cook his favourite food, discuss matter that he loves, perhaps do surprise for him for present. Then try talking to him about what you feel, and he must understand your heart. Perhaps he can spend more time with you. One more idea, try to follow him, means be together, join his friends at cafe for example. If you really love him, and he rally love you, both of you must sacrifies each other and please safe the engagement. I hope you will get marry soon!!
26 May 12
looks like your fiancee have some problem. Maybe he is worry about marriage. marriage is not easy life. He might think a lot about marriage, being a husband, more responsibility, being father and etc. Or he might have problem with his family. Try slow talk to him. If he really cold, ask him that he want to continue the relationship or not or you ask him "do you still love me"? Try, best of luck dear? Don't be sad ok, if he not suitable for you, better leave him now rather than you married and divorce, That is more scary life and have to face people surrounding who love to talk about weak people life.
27 May 12
i think getting cold feet is normal. Maybe you should take some time off, a cool off between you two.. just to know what it's like to be single again.. Since marriage is a lifelong commitment and it's hard to turn your back on it once the know is tied.. Tell him how you feel too, maybe he'll change.
• United States
26 May 12
Hello konom and welcome to myLot. Marriage s sch a life changing event. I personally think that if you are having doubts then you are not ready to marry this man. Remember it is supposed to be for life.For one thing he is not going to change just for you. If you really wanted to marry this guy you would be very happy and singing all the time.You say you know he loves you but you don't feel it ant more If tat is the case it won;t get better and you will be unhappy. Not worth it. "I know that I'm important to him but he no longer protect me." If he is not protecting you now what makes you think he will after you say the vows. Think about 5 years 10 years down the road. Do you think that things will be better, the same, or worse? five years or ten years feeling like you do not is a long time to be that unhappy. I've been here and done that. Believe me it is too sad to live like that. Take more time to be sure and don't worry about you friends and relatives. Don't be afraid to change your mind. They are not the ones to be living with him for the rest of your life.
26 May 12
You need to figure out what is really going on your head and in your heart. Maybe you are just bored? burnout? worried about something? You need to refocus, do something worthwhile alone or travel in solo. You need to be sure on things, otherwise, you may make things worse and regret for the rest of your life. I'm suggesting that if it is possible to postpone the wedding day, you may do so, have a week off alone, think more and ask for advice to your family or a spiritual adviser, tell them the truth about your feelings about getting married, they will listen, I'm so sure about that, they will lead you or will help you figure out things. Pray for guidance and wisdom. Follow your heart, follow on what you believe is correct and will make you happy now and for the years to come.
26 May 12
So, hope you will talk to him seriously and look what is happening. A serious talk would give results. Remember our only one and precious life should not be allowed someone to spoil and die in someone's name. So think and I am sure you can get married to him and led a peaceful life. Best of luck.
26 May 12
It is OK to back-off because it is your life. But, before you call your engagement off, you better talk to your fiancee about the situation first, like about what you feel right now. It might be a misunderstanding. Let him explain first why he doesn't take care of you like what he did before. Good luck, and I hope everything will be ok.
26 May 12
Believe, life is only for once and we need to enjoy till we can. Now this is the best time what we are and we should get the best out of it through our actions and thinking. I remember that so many people says in such a way that the marriage is already fixed and I am doubtful whether is he interested much in this. We all are leading different types of life styles and having various problems in finance, family and many more. But to have a clean life within the limitations is only possible how we looks on it. I just telling you that get some nice time and meet your guy and get discussed all the issues. Be open and frank with him and as and how you talk here, speak with him also. We all are like that we never tell the real facts wherever it is needed. Be with him and have serious discussions and find out his opinion. If possible, when it can be done and so on. I will comment you the rest shortly. Some guest come for me...... Sorry.