How do you tell them to leave?

I think money should never come in between friends. And you say this guy has become your friend, right? So that means you get up front, and ask him for the money he and his friends owe you. Get that out of the way first so that the friendship does not suffer because of it later. I have seen the best of friends become enemies over money, and I would pay my friends every single buck I owe her the minute I get the chance, because I don't want her to resent me later, and not being able to ask, because I am her friend. Second problem of yours can be solved by the same way. Be nice and explain everything. Tell him, dude, this is not working out, and I don't like people living here without my permission. Tell him you are not a great party-person and you would like him to move out, please, because he did not improve anything when you told him before. Do not get moved from your decision if he says he will make an effort now, even if he swears on it. He did not do it once, and he is not going to improve now either. Maybe he will resent you for a while, but you have make sure he knows that this is about the living situation and he will still be your friend. If you can, help him find another place. Be helpful, but stay firm in your decision. And do not delay this, because the resentment will increase and situation can get more complex for you and him.

I thought fraternities and sororities are US thing. Interesting that they exist in Phillipines. Do they occur because of US influence in the past? This is a classic roommate/housemate situation, which happens to many college students. If I may ask: Do you own the house? If you own or rent the house, did you sign a lease with your housemate? I don't know if this practice is common in Philippine or not. If your housemate is on a lease/contract, then you can confront him that he can stay there anymore. It may sound easy to say like many comments here, but among good friends, you just have to confront this with him. As part of learning to communicate, to become assertive, to take control of things, etc, you just have to keep trying to get the message across. Hopefully, you don't need to take drastic move.

I think you have to talk to them or even with your own friend whats the problems you have. In other way if they don't want to listen and pay, you can cut the electricity for they can live there anymore which the worst and least you can do about it. But if you can compromise with them in good condition you should try it out. Good luck!

I think he saw you as a person he could walk all over and has. You need to set down some strict rules and boundaries. Set down with him and express what you have here. You have to or just continue to put up with this behavior. I hope you have a lease because the only other thing you can do is wait until the lease comes up for renewal and have him put on it. Then he is libal for the bills as well as you are. THen, by law, if he doesn't do his part you can take him to court.

I am afraid that here in my state if you have this problem you have to go to court and formally evict the person living with you. Here if a person has stayed in your home for ten days straight and has any belongings there they are considered a resident. The court process is a tedious process and here it is the law if the person is not willing to leave on their own. Good luck with this. I think you have been straight forward with this person and that is the best way. He has been taking advantage of your kindness for a long time. You have to ask yourself this question: Is this person really your FRIEND?

Just tell them honestly, because they are not visitors anymore. Visitors only stay 3 days maximum. Since they are staying there for months, you should atleast tell them to share something like foods, electric bills and a little bit of the rent. Maybe they think that it is just OK with you that they are staying there for free because you didn't tell them.

I see that you have already tried talking to them, so I would just tell them it is time for them to find somewhere else to live. It is not working out. You are not a free ride.

C'mon, wake up! He is taking advantage of your friendship and he's using you deliberately. Friends do not do that~! Would you ever act this way towards anyone? Let alone someone you consider a close friend?? NO, you would not. So you need to get used to the idea that there is no friendship here. It's in his best interest to be nice to you and whatever so he continue to abuse you. Make some new friends and before you rent out any rooms, get references and a bond.

You can either just be honest and say what's on your mind and that things are not working out. No one is respectful of your home, no one contributes to the bills, and no one picks up after themselves and it has to stop. Give them a short notice and ask to do what you ask of them or to please find elsewhere to live. Or you could lie and say your landlord noticed too many people staying at your place and had advised you to have the extras be removed or you would be put out. (and in many cases this is true, if people are staying there and are not on the lease you can get evicted).

That is a dilemma.. maybe you should really talk to him seriously about this, as bills are serious.. i mean who wants to pay for all of it when they also consumed right? so go and talk to him you have the right as it is your house.

Sounds like they have put you in a very uncomfortable situation. It is admirable that you are still considering your friendships and their feelings after that kind of blatant disrespect. It may come to the point where you just have to tell them. Sometimes people don't hear you when you are too nice. I hate that too. Remember though...you are not the one that caused the issue. They are. It's not your fault you have to address it. Sounds like they have put you in a position where there are limited choices.

wow choybel, If this person is a really good friend as you indicated there should be no problem just coming right out with your request to him...I am sure if they have not abided by your rules and request they should be expecting something like this to be addressed eventually...There should be no hard feeling or anythng, because if he really cared they would have adhered to your request about helping out with the bills and being reponsible with maintaining the household. Thats the least they could do...I would suggest you clean your house of the "heavy loads" and move on...otherwise it will most likely continue...remember you can do bad all by yourself...They need to help you or get to stepping..... out of your home.... DON'T LET PEOPLE USE YOU,,,THEY WILL USE YOU UP!!!!!!!

You need to help them back on their feet. You may have heard this from somewhere. You need to help them get a job, even its a part time job. They need to start helping out with the bills, buying food, etc. When they have a stable, well paying job, then you can ask them to move out. If they refuse to even get a job, you need to stop doing things for them. Stop buying food, stop taking them places, etc. They will eventually get tired of living that way. Another option is to kick them out. Its a harsher version of what I just said. When you kick them out, uou need to make a point that they have been taking advantage of you for too long, or they will think you are an meanie (swear words are blocked :p), and you will feel bad too. I despise just brings in people, mooching off of your money.

how about, try to confront him that he and his friends are now becoming a burden for you? that you cannot pay all the payments? That if they won't share an amount for your bills they really need to leave? If this did not work. Try throwing their stuff out of the house(Joke :D) Well, I think,confronting is still the best answer.

I think you should be mad at him for a while. It actually helps you know, if he is a real friend he can understand your situation. Be mad and then talk to him seriously. It will always be tough for him to understand your point but don`t give up. It`s not fair that you are the one who burdens everything. Sometimes being too kind is really hard especially in your situation. I just hope that you can talk it through and stay friends at the same time. Of course the relationship will change, but if he is open minded enough to understand your situation then everything will be alright

Hi choybel.I read your post and I truly understand how you'd feel because i've been through the same thing.A good friend of mine asked if she could stay over for just a day because she was still house-hunting, and that 1 day turned into 3 months!I was able to bear her lengthy stay and my lack of privacy,However,the last straw was when she started to use my clothes, my toiletries, and use my air-conditioner 24/7!And true enough, she brought over her friends to stay over and have lunch at my place using my food stuffs!I wondered why my bills had a significant increase(it was about 65%).I couldn't wait anymore for her to leave. I did realise that telling her to leave will jeopardise our friendship but fixing my finances was more important and I missed my privacy.So we had a friendly but serious chat, when she was in a merry mood of course. I showed her the recent bills and I told her that if she wants to continue to stick around, she has to do her part-pay for the bills and the rent. Of course, I didn't expect a positive reaction from her.which she didn't give but she just left the house. A few days later though, she came back with all her things and she said that she'll stay permaneantly and she'll discuss with me first before inviting any of her friends over. In conclusion, I think if you want to tell your friend to leave in a nice way, just talk to him( when he's in a good mood of course) and tell him nicely how you feel about what he's doing. Even if something bad happens, the important thing is that you let him know. However, if you think that doing so will permaneantly damage your relationship with him, I suggest you look for a different housemate or move to a different zipcode. Hope you make a decision soon! Happy myLotting!

It is better if you talk to them right away, it's obvious that they are being inconsiderate. Just make sure that you talk to them where people can see you, in case of misunderstanding. They have to understand that at some point, Nothing comes for free. Tell them, you can't pay all the expencies and you can't do all the houseworks alone. You are going to need someone to share with, if they don't want to have a share then tell them you need to find someone else and that they will have to go.