How can you learn to give a new relationship a chance?
@ShootingStar79 (67)
United States
July 5, 2012 5:35pm CST
I've been hurt several times in the past (as has most people) and the last serious relationship I was left 3 months pregnant and I've been a single mom ever since. I am often lonely and just wish I had someone to share my life with. I am ready to move on with my life but I have one problem and its a rather big problem.
I have trouble trusting men. I always feel like I have to keep looking over my shoulder to keep myself out of harm's way. When things are really good, I start to push the guy away due to my own insecurities. I don't want to ruin anything with someone that I can end up happy with. I dont want to be that scrooge when it comes to love and relationships. I want to get passed this and I'm having a hard time explaining why I feel the way I do because I don't think these guys fully understand what I've been through. How can I get past this? What should I do? Any advice about any of this is greatly appreciated! :/
2 people like this
4 responses
@musicluv4life (1867)
• United States
5 Jul 12
I have trust issues as well because of things people have done to me in the past. But, what i learned is to be happy again you have to realize that everyone is different and he guy you date now is not the guy from your past. that's what i have to do and its very hard but, he understands i have issues and we talk through it together we been dating almost a year now. and i am very happy for the first time in a little while.
@ShootingStar79 (67)
• United States
5 Jul 12
That's good to hear! Yeah, the guy I am getting to know now isn't the guy from my past, but its like I'm trying to get out of it before I get hurt and I'm hurting either way because I really like him. It sucks.
@musicluv4life (1867)
• United States
6 Jul 12
Yeah, i know what you are saying.
I would give it a try though if you like him you have to trust him. trust me you will find out if theres a reason you shouldn't. Guys arent very good at hideing things.
@ShootingStar79 (67)
• United States
8 Jul 12
HA! Funny you say that because hes been acting different and he wasn't good at hiding that there was something going on. I let him go last night. I told him I am no longer playing his game and to move on with his life because I am going to do the same. I'm disappointed, but I'll be just fine :) I told him to please not contact me anymore.
@besweet (9862)
• Ireland
5 Jul 12
It used to be difficult for me to trust too, and the longer I stayed alone, the more difficult it was to start something new. I started finding things that I didn't like to every new guy that I was meeting and at the end I liked me being alone and independent. So I stopped trying and I was focused on other things. Then I met my current boyfriend and he made me trust him because he was patient and he showed me that he really liked me and he wanted a stable relationship.
I think that you should give people the chance to show you what they want from you and when you find the right guy, you will understand it and you won't need anyone to tell you what to do!
@ShootingStar79 (67)
• United States
6 Jul 12
I think that's what I need to do is stop trying. Maybe then that's when everything will just fall into place naturally. Thanks for sharing! :)
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
6 Jul 12
i think we all have trust issues, after all we know that our live was not perfect and that there is always this person that has broken our trust and with that, goes along the trust we have for others as well. For me, i always pray for God to make me feel that i am free of worries and free from thinking of what others may do to hurt me even before they start doing so. do not do this to yourself, start out being friends and then you can go ahead and also try to get to know the person slowly.. you do not need to actually trust him 100 percent right away give these people chances and then be careful and not be like what you used to be when you were betrayed by others...
@jobfindonline (1744)
•
6 Jul 12
not all men are the same. what if you found the real one for you and because of your fears, you realized in the end that you lost someone like him. never get tired of finding the right man for you.. all you need is to take extra time to let the person know well. only by doing you can avoid yourself from repeated heart failures.
