Illegitimate daughter
By lovcie
@lovcie (116)
Philippines
July 12, 2012 11:50pm CST
My aunt-in-law and godmother (wedding) has a not legally adopted daughter who will get married this end of July. Said girl has grown-up with her with the help of her biological mother which is a domestic helper in Saudi. She knows that they were abandoned by her father and have just moved on with their lives. In the process of getting a marriage license, she was asked to provide a consent from her parents. Due to her father's no whereabouts, she just submitted her mother's consent together with a certificate of abandonment. However, the thought has crossed her mind to look for him so that she will have this feeling of being a whole person before her marriage vows.
In the efforts of finding the whereabouts of her mysterious father, it was found that she was apparently the illegitimate daughter of my friend's husband. I am being asked by my aunt-in-law to be the connection. If you are in my shoes, how will be handle this situation?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Eppie2010 (509)
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
Hi Lovcie, If I understand this correctly, your Godmother (and Aunt in law) is asking you to be the sort of "middle man" between her adopted daughter and her long-lost father (husband of your friend)?
If this is the case, I think you should first have a heart to heart talk with your friend, does she even know that her husband has an illegitimate daughter?
@lovcie (116)
• Philippines
13 Jul 12
You got it right Eppie2010. I am being asked to be the middle man. It is really a very sensitive one and got sleepless nights on how to do it. I got hesitations for both parties are important to me. I do not want to lose a friend in case she won't accept the fact. She knows that once, her husband had an affair and have shared to me this big test in their relationship. She told that she forgave her husband on this. My hesitation is, she might have forgiven him but she is not open to accepting the child. I do want the adopted daughter be given the opportunity to know her real dad but I will be sad to lose a friend in case.
@galloper30 (50)
• Philippines
14 Jul 12
Hey, lovcie! What are the pros and cons? Will it have a great effect on you if you if "connect them"?
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Jul 12
Hi Lovcie,
First of all, Welcome to Mylot.
It's late and I'm tired so forgive me if I'm not following your story right. What I'm understanding is that her biological mother is someone other than who she was raised to believe her mother was?? These things do happen but honestly if someone asked me to be the connection ...I'd back out. If I'm understanding this correctly, they are basically asking you to do their dirty work. The girl should have been told the truth long before her wedding day...like when she was old enough to understand. They created this web of lies and want you to untangle it for them? If I were to be involved at all, I would be there for her to talk to. They should be they ones to talk to her about the legacy they left her with.
