July 23, 2012 1:26pm CST
I am typically a very sensitive person, my sister in laws won't even sit next to me at wedding or funerals because I can't keep from bawling my eyes out, even if I don't even know the people that well. One of my best friend's moms past away last night and when I found out I just kind of went about my evening as normal, not a tear shed, which is odd for me. I saw her mother often and I truly liked her very much. The last time I saw her she was doing well and she gave me a big hug and told everyone what a wonderful cook I was. That was about a month ago. Her health rapidly declined after that, and last week she had to have her leg amputated. I have known others that this has happened to and each time the person had died within a few days later, so there was a huge part of me expected this to be the outcome although I had hoped it would not be. My friend has given up her job and pretty much any kind of social life to take care of her mother and I know she is devastated. I think I have experienced so much death in the last 10 years that my body is kind of forcing itself to be desensitized by it. I am actually very concerned for my friend right now. I am sure I will be more emotional at the funeral. I don't like wakes I don't like seeing the body and I actually get in to a bit of a panic state when I am stuck in a funeral home for too long which is another story all together. Seeing as she was one of my best friend's mom, we will likely stay there for the majority of the wake. I am rambling now, I just don't like it when people die and I don't understand why I am not more emotional about this very nice ladies death, actually as I am typing this the emotions are starting to come. OK I am done rambling now.