Is there a nice way to tell a guy your not interested?
By Ollanna11
@Ollanna11 (371)
United States
July 29, 2012 4:56pm CST
I went to pick some food items at the grocery store today. While shopping this guy asked me if he was in my way and I told him not to worry he was okay. I didn't think nothing of it and continued shopping. When I got to the register, the same guy was in line ahead of me and commented to me that the line usually goes quicker. So another lane opened up and the guy allowed to go ahead of him and I thanked him. I walked out of the store and headed to the car the same guy pulls up in his car. He opens up his car door and asked me if he could give me his number so we could be friends. I didn't know how to respond without being rude. The guy went on to tell me that he was a truck driver, and he was a nice guy. I told the guy that I am usually busy with work. He insisted that he give me his number in case I needed a friend to talk, the guy also said he detailed cars and offered his services. In the end I took the guys number because he was so persistant. I did warn the guy that I wasn't promising him a call. Then we said goodbye.
I like friends but I try not to give my phone number to everyone!
2 people like this
12 responses
@deazil (4723)
• United States
29 Jul 12
I would have been rude. He seems awfully pushy. If it were me (and I know it's not) ;-) I wouldn't call him. HE says he's a nice guy? Oh, okay. Remember Ted Bundy? He was a nice guy, too. This guy already figures you're single and maybe live alone. Because if you had a bf or a husband you would have said that first off. There's a lot of weirdos out there. Be careful. I'm older (than I wanna be) and I've seen so many bad things happen to people just because they were friendly. Maybe I'm overly suspicious. Just my .02. Oh, and to answer your question (which I totally forgot about) I don't know. People like that bring out the rude in me.
1 person likes this
@Ollanna11 (371)
• United States
29 Jul 12
Maybe I should just use the I have a boyfriend line. But when I told the guy I had a friend who was doing the same things he was offering, he commented with confidence I could get him out the way. I really felt like saying you don't have a chance, friends or not.
@deazil (4723)
• United States
30 Jul 12
Get him out of the way? This guy sounds like a weirdo. Over-confident moron type. I agree with besweet that it takes courage to go up and talk to a stranger like that but not with all men. With some of them it's not courage, it's arrogance, over-confidence, conceit, possibly motivated by evil intent, by an overbearing moronic type loser. Um, did I leave anything out? ;-)
@lampar (7584)
• United States
30 Jul 12
By telling him straight or point blank in front of his face that you are not interested in having his number or giving out your number to him is nothing 'not nice' about it, there is no nicer way than using that method. For a jerk like that, it is so unfortunate there is nothing much you can possibly do to make it look and sound nice for his ear. Sometime being rude is a proper way to fend off jerk a*s like him in public, he is lucky he is not shot by doing that to you, in certain country, women will not bother to think of a nice way to tell a guy she is not interested, they just give him a kick in the butt to send their message to him, that usually will do the trick immediately. 
@lampar (7584)
• United States
31 Jul 12
In a real world, there is no such thing as a nice way to tell a jacka*s you are not interested in him, in my culture, you are considered as being extremely nice and polite by telling him that in the first place instead of just walked away showing him your but*.... don't waste your time thinking of finding a nice way to tell him, you can spend your time in a much productive way. 
@Ollanna11 (371)
• United States
30 Jul 12
In which country do women kick jerks in the butt. I wouldn't try that here men wouldn't think twice to harm a lady in the US.
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
29 Jul 12
I think you did fine. I wouldn't have given my number but since he gave his..why not? Then you can decide if you want to contact him. If you are interested..you can call and talk on hte phone for awhile to "get to know each other" then if you want to...meet somewhere...you drive yourself.
I learned this from my daughter...she is 34 and trying to find someone and is very cautious so a phone relationship is the best way to go to get to know ifyou even want to meet in person.
@Ollanna11 (371)
• United States
29 Jul 12
I threw the guys number out. I believe Im a good judge of character and can sense it someone is worthwhile. Hopefully he finds the friendship he's looking for.
@Ollanna11 (371)
• United States
30 Jul 12
My time is valuable! Not trying judge but the guy doesn't deserve a call from me.
@homeshoppers (6166)
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
It happened sometimes as some men think that giving women consideration gives them the possibility that we can't refused if they will ask something in return like asking for the number as they might think that we will just give them our number thinking they are nice. In my case i took a bus ride and it was rush hours so the bus was full and a lot was standing then there's one guy offer his sit to me as the time goes by and he was able to get a sit beside me he talk to me and ask for my number so i said i left my mobile and i dont normally memorize my number since i just change it so what i know is the old number which is no longer active, he then insist to get the old number so i give him a fake number, he also gave me his calling card and told me that i can call him if i want and so i said for what? just because he offer me his sit it means i already like him and can't refuse him.
@Ollanna11 (371)
• United States
30 Jul 12
Men have the biggest ego. They think all women are starved for their attention. Why couldn't he just give you the seat w/o excpecting to be best of friends. A gentleman would have done that. Sometimes women just want to be left alone. I need a t-shirt in bold letters saying that.
@besweet (9861)
• Ireland
29 Jul 12
Haha, nice move! I do the same thing, if the guy insists I might get his number but I never give mine.
Most of the times I say thank you but I'm not interested or I say that I have a boyfriend even if I don't at the time, and they leave. However, some people keep pressuring when you are trying to be polite. Then I might become rude but I am trying to avoid being rude, because then I feel bad when I think about what I said!
At the end of the day, it's flattering when someone likes you and it needs courage to come and talk to you! So it's better to be polite and avoid it kindly!
@Ollanna11 (371)
• United States
29 Jul 12
Thank you for confirming that it is alright to say I'm not interested. I just know guys can be rude in my city and they may not take that approach too kindly. I think I should just say I am committed to someone to get the creeps off my back.
1 person likes this
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
30 Jul 12
Well its hard in that situation. But may be you can tell them that you cant give your number cos you use ur number for bussiness and waiting for many important calls from business mate.
@Ollanna11 (371)
• United States
30 Jul 12
Great idea, but a guy this pushy may want to call after business hours!
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
30 Jul 12
Letting someone know that you really are not interested in them is not always a pleasant task to come across. it doesnt have to done with rudeness or harshness. /there is a gentler way of doing it. I find that being upfront and honest with people makes it much easier to get your point across.
@thersdae_me (327)
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
Maybe he was really interested in you that's why he was so insistent. But you, obviously not being interested with him at all, did the right thing not to give him your number. I also don't give my personal number to strangers but like you, I prevent myself from being rude too. This is also to keep myself safe. I'm really quite small in height and in built. Thus, if I meet a big guy and pushes him too much, I wouldn't know how to protect myself from being harmed too.=( I try to remain as formal or civil as I can if I want to avoid close encounters. :)
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
30 Jul 12
I'm not giving out my phone number to anyone who I'm not interested in, especially when they are doing it forcedly. I would say something like I don't need any more friends. I wouldn't be nice and diplomatic, because a normal person would understand after the first tries that I'm not interested in them. End of story :D.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
30 Jul 12
I don't think there will be a nicer way to tell someone to back off if the person is too persistent and pushy. Once or twice of saying no should suffice, the third try can get nasty. You did well, and I say when you feel like there's something wrong with the person then follow your gut feel. It is better to be wrong and safe, than wrong and harmed.
@paulli3 (312)
• China
30 Jul 12
i think you are right if you meet a guy who you don't know but he asked your number. you shouldn't give him. becuase you don't know what he think and it's neccessary that you have to be more carefully. so what you did is right. you should tell the guy you are not interested so the guy will give up to ask your number. making freiends is good but it doesn't means you must be friends with everyone.
