Helper in the Kitchen
By NailTech
@NailTech (6874)
United States
July 31, 2012 9:56am CST
When you're cooking, generally do you like to be alone in there cooking your food items or if there happens to be someone else like a "helper" is it OK? I think it depends on the helper. If it is my mom she will start rearrranging my pots on the stove and saying things like the handle should be facing the other way and not towards the middle of the stove and/or the burner isn't the right one for the pot I have on it. Things like that. I think that is way too annoying for someone to do while someone else is cooking and I'm 49 so I do not need someone telling me how to put pots on a stove, been cooking for years now and I don't bother with minor details like this that are quite unimportant. Yet if I re-wash a dish of hers that is still dirty she takes offense. I'm like, would you rather I just eat with a dirty dish or utensil instead? Gross. Is there anyone you don't mind cooking with? I would think someone who is truely a help and doesn't try to manipulate your every move would be fine or who is clean rather than critical about everything. Otherwise there is no use in having more than one person in the kitchen with me.
4 people like this
12 responses
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
When I am at the kitchen, I'd rather prefer to be alone doing all the stuffs. But sometimes, when there are many things to do and I only have a very short time to prepare foods, I asked help of my wife to look into what I am doing and help me prepare some things. She will ask me how to do it because I have my own style in cooking and in the kitchen which might differ from her.
What really annoys me of the helpers in the kitchen is too much criticisms that I receive that I would rather tell them not to help and I can do it by my own.
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
1 Aug 12
Right, as long as the helpers does not make any interruption on my kitchen and will not ruin what I did, they ar welcome to help me. Just like when there are occasions in our house, I was the one in charged of the kitchen. I let them help in chopping and preparing things then give them instructions on how to do it but still need to supervise them.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
1 Aug 12
Nothing worse than a helper who does not want to cooperate or tries to take over when they shouldn't. But in your case if you are in charge of everything on occasions in your house then you should do your best to make sure things go smoothly and supervise, etc. You have it right.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
1 Aug 12
I don't mind if someone asks me to help them and I can provide the help if not too busy doing my own thing in the kitchen at all if it's not anything elaborate but as a rule I prefer to be alone with out any hindrance or interuptions. Yea, the critiques from the so called "helpers" otherwise is what is most annoying, and they usually can't take the cristism back themselves if someone tells them something.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
31 Jul 12
When I am cooking I don't like other people around me. It is like that, because everything in my kitchen where it stays and where it has to stay after someone using it. I can't say that my kitchen is very clean or everything is all right there all of the time, but I know that I am the person who may put order in my stuff the best, because in longer term I will be using everything there in future, so I really need to know where the things are.
My boyfriend loves when everything is perfect. When he does something it takes so long time, that it drives me little nuts about all of the time spent in doing something I do for like few minutes. Also he never knows where to find something.
Let's say that he cut a tomato on the kitchen wood board. It's all good, but after using the board and the knife he never wash them, which is not cool.
I would love to do everything myself and to know where it is when I need it.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
31 Jul 12
There is a place for everything and lately I'm just happy to be on my feet and doing something after a two week surgery stint I just had so pots and pans on the stove are my least concern unless it is something life threatening. I mostly like to cook alone as the kitchen is really small and not fit to have more than one cook in it. It needs to be modernized. Haha, yes I have heard some men take alot of time in the kitchen when they cook like your BF. Plus he should wash them after using them or at least put them with other dirty dishes to be washed later on, and not put back in the cupboard.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
31 Jul 12
It sounds a reasonable break, after you had surgery to receive some help.
I would love someone to replace me in the kitchen, but without asking all the time - where is this, where is that, how to turn on the hot plate, what spice to put now. This is all what bothers me. If he doesn't ask for my help while he is in the kitchen, it would be really perfect. I have no problem with him staying and doing something in the kitchen for very long, just even doing something there he always asks me/needs me/ask me to put an arm and help him. So I prefer to do it alone instead of having him asking for help all of the time.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
31 Jul 12
I don't cook daily, I volunteered to do it right away in fact practically to see how it would go, plus I love my pork chops LOL. I put some extra seasonings on them this time and everyone loved them! I put some thyme in the egg wash before I breaded them with the store bought breading, and it turned out yummy. I only wish the breading would stay on better underneath the pork chops in the pan. I only use spray coating for the pan so they don't stick, and put them in the oven.
@celticeagle (189927)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Aug 12
I think that having someone help with the food prep is fine. Like chopping up vegetables or getting items down from cupboards is a big help. It does depend on the helper. Mom sounds like she has a control issue. I would ignore her. I like someone whose mind works along the same lines as mine. My ex and I used to do well in the kitchen. It just depends.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
1 Aug 12
Yes that is a big help if the kitchen is large enough and nothing negative is aid. Yea, mom is kind of controlling, to a point. She does this every time with the pots if she is in the kitchen with me, thats why I prefer her not to be, LOL. I told her to do something else and is she wants to help she can help that way, it seems she was happy to help me at least in the way I asked. Our minds do not work the same at all sometimes, she has some issues.
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
1 Aug 12
Hi Nail, most of the time i prefer to do the cooking all alone by myself. I prefer not to have any interruption from anyone. Because i want to make sure that i don't mix match my ingredients and ended-up cooking something that is not i am intended. Only when we are doing a big function, then i would like someone to helping me to cut and wash the veggies. I really need a helper at that moment. But, i always make sure the person who is helping me is not the person who keep on complaining and nagging me. I can't tolerate that type of people especially when i was busy arranging and preparing my ingredients for cooking.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
2 Aug 12
Hi myfb2009. I am like you, I really don't need a helper unless there is plenty of room in the kitchen and they can do some task without having to interfere with what I'm doing as well in any way. Big functions can be a scene where you would need someone helping to at least cut up some of the veggies and wash them, yes. I don't like anyone nagging me anywhere, especially in the kitchen where I'm the main cook, which is usually the case when or if someone is doing the nagging for some reason.
@marie2052 (3691)
• United States
1 Aug 12
As they say the kitchen is the woman's domain LOL
I don;t like anyone bothering me. My husbands mother used to live with us and i had to put up with IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP?
Of course not or I would have asked. It was hard to remain friendly and smiling as this was asked of me daily.
But even to holiday dishes I can get things done faster if I can get it all done before people arrive and start asking. I usually set everything out buffet style so then when I am finished they can all go raid the kitchen LOL
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
1 Aug 12
Yea, I know what you mean. She was trying to be helpful but one doesn't realize when you ask or do something like that on a daily basis it gets to be annoying. I'm sure she meant well, it isn't like she just sat there and wanted to be waited on. I get it that she still needs to be needed but there is a limit too. Oh I like the idea of your buffet style holiday setting, when can I come over? LOL, just kidding.
@shaqziad (655)
• Malaysia
1 Aug 12
Haha. My mom also tend to be annoying when we cook together. But I know that i'm an amateur in cooking, so i just kept my mouth shut. when she cook, she asked me to help, but she clearly just give me a knife and chopping board to prepare the ingredients, and will not let me touch the pan or cooking pot. but when i am the one who cooked, she will check on anything that i cooked to see if it taste good or cooked enough. i think having more than one person in the kitchen will make the cooking faster, but only with someone compatible with us. but if we are cooking with someone we don't like working with, only disaster awaits.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
1 Aug 12
Not an amatuer here, I like to place the pots on the stove without such a big deal going on, as long as they don't catch on fire they are the right way, in my book, heh. I dunno what it is about the pots, they can be touched by an amatuer as well as a novice, it's the only way you learn anything, unless it's a child in the kitchen then they shouldn't touch the hot pots. I agree, non compatible persons need not be around me with anything, including cooking. I think she likes to make a pain of herself with everything. Yesterday it was getting in my way of using the bathroom upstairs and then nagging me about not changing my calendar already when it wasn't August yet. She. Strives. On. Stress.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
31 Jul 12
It is best not to have another person in the kitchen while cooking and if this person is going to be like your mom, it is very irritating and would spoil your mood.In our house we clearly allow one person to do the cooking.If my daughter-in-law is in a mood to cook I won't go near the stove.I will offer to help by cutting vegetables.Similarly when my mother-in-law would like to do something she would have her freedom and of course I would also prefer it this way.We need to evolve a very good working relationship with the other person who is likely to share our kitchen and there would be a lot of tolerance and understanding needed.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
31 Jul 12
Well, I knew she was going to do it ahe always does. She is preoccupied with the pots on the stove and how they are for some reason. It's not something she does everytime I cook thank goodness. If I tell her to stop she will just get mad so I can't confront her about most anything, she is a type who thinks she is always right. It is nice to have someone to help with their hands and not their mouths and just cut up veggies like your daughter, and other things like that. No negative things. A good working relationship is fine with me, I don't bother her in the kitchen when she cooks so she should respect me when I cook in there too. She has even been known to take a dirty pot I have used before her and make some of her food with it complaining that the handle is too hot, ugh. Some people are never happy with anything, she should have used a different pot.
@coffeebreak (17797)
• United States
31 Jul 12
I don't...just not enough space and sure as you know it...I'll need to be where he is or want something and his in the way etc.
But what I do like is when my grand daughters are with me.. and I am teaching them how to cook/bake etc. They are just the most fun to be with in the kitchen. They love all the things that us oldies think are boring, and enjoy all the things that use oldies have done for years and think nothing of!
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
31 Jul 12
That is what I'm talking about, when you have grand kids and are teaching them stuff. It is always fun, the kitchen size doesn't even matter then. My mom seems to have the constant need for people to need her help or be in her control I guess. It is rather upsetting to a point. Why she can't just overlook the little details and stop critiquing all the time. Today has been one of those days I wish I could stuff a tomato in her mouth. 
@sender621 (14889)
• United States
1 Aug 12
Most of the time i like to be alone in the kitchen when i am preparing a meal. when it is a special occassion a helper is just the ticket. young children are excellent helpers in the kitchen. they seem so eager to help you create something wonderful for everyone. The helper that I try to avoid is someone who just wants to take over. Helping in the kitchen can be fun with the right attitiudes.@NailTech (6874)
• United States
1 Aug 12
I think I would prefer to have a young child in the kitchen with me moreso than an adult who will constantly critique and make changes that you don't agree with. I just would worry about the child touching something hot and burning themself is all. Yes, it is all about attitude and knowing when to shut thy mouth and control thy actions, too.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
Most of the time I love to cook and prepare food alone because its very easy for me cook and organized all the ingredients that i need without anyone disturbing my concentration when cooking. But there are times when I am cooking for the whole family or event I always asked for my mother help because she can cook everything and can't cook without her during special occasions especially if we have lots of visitors. My mother has a unique technique in cooking and she always gives me advice when cooking. Also when I am cooking with her we always have a designed dishes before were going to cook so that we cook different dishes at the same time. My mom only asked me if I know that recipes for the dish and if I said yes she just allow me to cook it and taste it afterwards. Good thing we have same sense of taste in terms of cooking maybe because were both taught by my grandmother and we inherent her cooking skills and techniques in terms of cooking.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
31 Jul 12
I agree, this is how I love to cook. If a guy wants to help me in his kitchen or whatever and isn't being to critique either then I won't mind cooking together. I have cooked with my grandmother and she gave me some helpful hints as far as the cooking and washing processes of the trade. My mother just seems to critique rather than help. It takes all kinds. 
@Mantohave (83)
• Trinidad And Tobago
31 Jul 12
I personally hate somebody else in the kitchen with me. I share a kitchen with my landlord and he has decided for the past 8 years that I rented from him that he is a supervisor. so I avoid him like the plague. When you make mistakes in the kitchen too, like we all do, you don't want stupid remarks being made. A kitchen helper is definitely not my kind of person.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
1 Aug 12
Yea, the remarks are just too personal but and there are people who just love to point them out. he worst part of that is you can't confront those people on their errors coz they take it so personally they want to start a war. It's a lose lose situation. Sorry to hear about your landlord, he just can't supervise everything you cook though can he? That is bizarre. I'm not really having a huge need for a helper either unless they actually help and not hinder or annoy me.
@niezzeissha (1)
• Malaysia
1 Aug 12
different person have their own habit that could not change by anybody..that make all of us much unique..
for me, i just wanna someone to be with me in the kitchen, just to accompany me, if they wanna give their hand to help me, i will thanks for that as long as they with me in the kitchen.
so, all of person in our life make our life much great..
