kids from "bad" backgrounds failing in life
By janiewhite35
@janiewhite35 (163)
August 5, 2012 3:05pm CST
I recently starting having a discussion with my friends on why kids from bad backgrounds fail in life.
This led us to discuss what was our view on failure in life etc. So i thought i would discuss these issues here, as I found it a really interesting topic of discussion and i was hoping to gather a lot of different users views on this.
I grew up moveing around different areas, some in East London, some in so-called wealthier counties. I now live in the NOrht east of england, an area knwon for it's poverty.
I noticed in the east london areas, (going back to my school days) there was far more bullying, truancy, misbehaviour, serious crime and teen pregnancy than in the better off counties I lived in. This is obviously just my observation on this issue, and in no way am i meaning to demeanour anyone, i am just stagin my personal opinions and observations so as to discuss these issues.
Attitudes seem to be the main thing that differ from area to area.
Kids raised in these "bad" areas seem to be raised with the attitude of you come from nothing, youre never going to be anything. They dont seem to be taught the importance of education and trying to make something of yourself in life, in general. OBviously I am not tarring the entire population with the same brush, there ARE exceptions to this.
What i am trying to say is to discuss the issue of self belief as well i guess.
These kids dont have people who believe in them, who support them and educate them. They often dont seem to have respect for thiermselves wither. They seem to accpet the fact theyre destined to have lower class jobs (though i realise we no longer have a class system, but i cant think of a better word thatn class to use)
NOw, take someone from a richer better off background, they WANT to go to to college and university and make something of themselves, and it is expected of them.
could it be because they have no aspirations in life?
Why do you think these differences exist? IS it just money and wealth? DO the rich think theyre better than the poor? Do the poorer kids get a bad image literally just because of where they come from?
is it perhaps that they have a lack of role models? Why do these areas become poor in the first place? What makes a underprivelaged child strive to better themselves and respect themselves? is it just because that is what society expects of them perhaps?
is gang culture and drugs to blame do you think? Is violence the "norm" for them perhaps?
is it literally because thier familes dont value them perhaps?
Does it come down to morals and ethics?
DO you really think that an area you are raised in affects the way you beahve and the way society views you?
Would YOU be different do you think, if you came from a different background
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
5 Aug 12
A person's upbringing and background does affect his or her life and decisions later on. But sometimes, it all boils down to the person's own desires to strive and improve himself. In a social studies class, I remember studying the profile of 2 men who are both sons of the town drunkard who pawned off everything including the family house just to support his drinking vice. They spent most of their childhood in the slums. Both kids grew up and had their own families. Kid 1 became a hard core criminal serving life term for murder, while Kid 2 became a public school teacher. Asked why they ended up like that, both brothers surprisingly gave the same answer:: "If you have a father like mine, what else could you do?"
It's also a matter of choice. One person did nothing to better himself and ended up being a criminal because his father was a drunkard, can't expect that much from him. The other brother chose to better himself, because his father is a drunkard and he never want that kind of life for himself and his own kids.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
5 Aug 12
Yes, there are exceptions. Some people, despite their way of living, shall always strive harder to get out of that kind of life. Now the difference comes as to how they will do that: either go the good and honest way, or break to being bad. Some studies say that the kids' attitudes and beliefs are inherited from their parents. But it all boils down to one thing: they all have a choice. They have the free will to choose the good way, or the bad way.
1 person likes this
@janiewhite35 (163)
•
5 Aug 12
I have never done a social studies course or anything like that, but now that youve mentionoed it I think i will give it some serious consdieration, as i am sure it is something i would really enjoy doing.
THanks for your detailed answer, i really did enjoy reading it, as i say i enjoy a good discussion or debate.
I Suppose a lot of it is environment, like i said in my original post there are exceptions to it.
It kind of reminds me of my third fav film of all time - dangerous minds. where Raoul thinks he cant get anywhere in life, that nobody is ever going to believe in him or support him because of where he comes from and what sort of life he elads.
I dont think things are as bad here in the UK as in the USA, but i also think thats down to population numbers as well. But I hear a lot of storied of gang related crimes and the lifes of youngsters within these gnag areas etc.
So many young lives lost.
Thanks again for commenting!
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
6 Aug 12
Hi janie, I am not sure if thats the way I see it or not to make
that blanket statement...What I do know that everyone who grows up
in proverty does not necessary continue that same status or lack or
status the rest of their lives...
We have here in the USA what is called The Projects , which is a low income
housing unit...Now there sometimes are a lot of negativeness connected
to those units but I know for fact that some people in those housing
units live very very well..Their children are rounded people in society.
Its just that negativeness that carried on by society that the Projects
are bad families with bad children...Don't get me wrong, there are a
lot that may or may not go on there, but its the outside world as to say
who think people have to be a certain way because of where they live..
I just believe in dealing with people for who I cn see they are and not
by some off the wall judgement of others in society. I believe people
who want better in life will scuffel and fight to better them selves....
I am just saying this is just one mylotters opinion....mine!!!!!
1 person likes this
@janiewhite35 (163)
•
6 Aug 12
no, i do agree, not everyone will act as society expects them to according to where they come from.
I think this discussion could also be taken in a few ways, a bad upbringing may mean the home you come from or the entire area you come from.
Children with families who struggled growing up may want more for thier children and work harder to acheive.
You do tend to ind however that the better off areas do have lower rates of crimes etc, but then some get to the point where theyre desperately trying to survive and turning to crime is the only option for them
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
5 Aug 12
This should read,-Kids from uneducated and ignorant family backgrounds are failing in life and adding misery and costs to the lives of every world citizen.
There are no bad humans, just uneducated. These people don't know the difference between "good and bad," they don't know right from wrong and have no concept earning a good honest living, therefore they resort to lives of crime.
@janiewhite35 (163)
•
5 Aug 12
whilst i do appreciate your reply, and fully accept we all have different opinions, i dont entirely agree with yours myself, and in syaing that i am in no way at all saying i am right and your wrong, there is no right and wrong opinoin in life sometimes, jsut differing ones.
You imply, or at least it comes accross this way in type, and i know you cant read facial expressions and tones in typing, but you seem to be impyling that anyone from a poor or bad background doesnt care, is ignorant and dont WANT to make anything of themeslves.
THis isnt always the case, and I personally dont have such a down view on people like this.
Even these people WILL know right from wrong, young children know right from wrong, but just because someone does know right from wrong doenst mean they will always take the right choice.
I guess some kids in these areas are forced into crime to survive in the harsh environments they are raised in.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
6 Aug 12
You wrote "Poor background," I wrote "uneducated and ignorant background". There is a world of difference between the two! The uneducated are (or can be) ignorant of opportunity, while the ignorant have never been taught the difference between right and wrong, good, and bad, and so they seldom make the right choice because they lack the knowledge! Knowledge can make a world of difference!
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
5 Aug 12
Thank you for such a post. Well i believe that one's upbringing and grooming plays an important role in his or her life at all moments. The way he is being treated and groomed is reflected in his personal etiquette and behavior.
1 person likes this
@janiewhite35 (163)
•
5 Aug 12
I posted this because i really do enjoy a good non heated debate! I know it sounds cheesey but i honestly belive this is a diverse planet we live on, and diversity is a part of life. we all have different opinons and beliefs and these affect our decision and behaviour in life, and i love a good discussion as i say, not an argument but a proper discusion / debate. call me boring lol but i enjoy it"
@deazil (4723)
• United States
5 Aug 12
Environment has much to with it. But not always. I read a profile of twins who were born into an impoverished family. They could not afford to keep them both. One was adopted by a wealthy family and raised well. He had everything he could want yet he chose a life of crime. His brother, brought up in poverty, chose also to be a criminal. In some cases you are what you are. I think genetics and environment play a big part in who you are and how you react to life.
1 person likes this
@janiewhite35 (163)
•
5 Aug 12
thanks for your valuied comment as well. I really find this a very iteresting subject and one which i feel you could discuss for weeks and weeks lol.
I wonder how much genetics DOES affect us in this way, that would be another interesting conversation wouldnt it!
@bhibbard13 (30)
• United States
5 Aug 12
Let me start off with saying, I love this post. I agree with you that coming from a tough upbringing and environment has a huge impact on how a child grows up and what they grow into. There are many factors though that can alter a bad course. One of the posters above mentioned the story of two brothers one whom turned out well and the other ended up a criminal. Every child, when you ask them what they want to do when they get older, always have answers for goals to aspire to. They wish the best for themselves. As the years have passed we have seen a larger crowd of people not even strive to do well for themselves and use their upbringing and environment as an excuse. If you look closely at this you will notice that communities have become less involved as well. It is my opinion that back in the day when communities noticed that a family was not doing well they put forth an effort to help them out. You do not see that so much today. Everything is more individualistic. Unfortunately many people would rather look the other way when they see these things happening with families and children. Instead if people take notice, such as a neighbor or teacher and they present themselves as a positive force in their life it may just help that child to see things from a different perspective.
@janiewhite35 (163)
•
6 Aug 12
Good reply! some reallt good points there, that sometimes it isnt the envirnoment that makes people but people that make the envrionment.
I suppose as well you could get into the discussion of what do we each see as a bad background, ie to use we have a clear idea of what we consider to be one, but if we perhaps spoke to someone from one of these worse areas would they see the same things we do? OR is it a case of thats normal to them so they dont see why they should change?
I think that there could be far more understnading in this world and agree there just isnt the community spirit that there used to be. SO many people are becoming more and more selfish and caring less and less about others.
Then o course you have the people who wouldnt take your help and support even if it were offered to them
