How to control one's temper

Philippines
August 9, 2012 8:48am CST
I believe I am a nice guy. But sometimes my temper could run short and more often than not I do things that I would later on regret. Do you know any technique/method to cool down someone's temper? Or maybe an exercise to increase one's patience?
3 people like this
14 responses
• Philippines
9 Aug 12
If you want to control your temper you have to check on your emotions. Anger comes from an emotional surge. To control this, the mind should be tough enough to overcome the surge. I suggest that when you are trapped into a situation wherein you will definitely burst out, try doing breathing exercises. Breathing helps circulate needed oxygen into your brain making it function better. Doing so will buy you some time to think the situation over and also improve your brains mental efficiency. Trust me, when you do this, you will see that there really is nothing to be angry about some certain situations. I hope this helps you out.
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
Many people here posted about breathing exercises. Is it similar with meditation? I'll surely use this since majority of the people here think it's that effective. Thanks for posting.
• Philippines
19 Aug 12
Well, it is situational. Meditation is used to practice control of the mind and breathing. Once you do this ever so often, you will be accustomed to apply it in your daily life. Breathing exercises is best done when you are actually in the situation of bursting out. You do breathing routines to calm you down. You don't do meditation while you are in the midst of the situation. The other person might think you as weird or provoking another thing right?
• United States
9 Aug 12
Picture the worst thing you have done when you were angry. Replay that image over and over in your head, and think about all the guilt you feel when you think of what you did. When you feel yourself getting mad bring that picture to your head, and that should help you keep yourself cool.
• Philippines
9 Aug 12
This could actually work! Thanks for posting this!
• United States
9 Aug 12
I guarantee it will work. I used to be very violent went I lost my temper, and I hurt someone really bad. The images of what I did, helped me to change my ways, and i haven't lifted my hands in anger in years now.
1 person likes this
@Quetzhal (82)
• Singapore
9 Aug 12
I have a pretty short fuse as well, though I consider myself a very empathetic person- I always put others before. It's a strange contradiction in my nature, but I've managed to put it under control, in a manner of speaking. I simply force myself to think logically- Logic is a regime I follow quite strictly. What would losing my temper accomplish? Is there really a reason for me to lose my temper- Does the situation warrant it, or are my expectations simply unreasonable? Is there a possibility of compromise? Strange way to deal with a temper, I know, but maybe it'll help!
• Philippines
9 Aug 12
I think I read something from Dale Carnegie's book that have the same concept as yours. I was effective as long as you remember it. My problem is sometimes I just give in to my whim. Act out of impulsiveness. Man, I really should have a better grasp of myself when I'm angry.
• Singapore
10 Aug 12
It takes time! I think the first step is to usually just realise the fact that you're angry- many times when I lose my temper I just lose it without really thinking "oh hey, I'm actually losing my temper right now". You could try that, I suppose. xD Not saying it's the same for you, of course- We're all pretty different in how we deal with these things.
• India
10 Aug 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, We have the ability to control our anger and reduce it. As we all know we don't get any benefits with our angry and it is the route cause for many problems. Surely we must learn a way to reduce our anger. I saw some persons are very short tempered and getting angry and irritation for silly things, we must surely avoid this kind of activities and increase our tolerance. We can gain this kind of attitude with our practice. At the beginning it is hard for a short temper person to reduce anger fully, but in due course we can over come from our anger. Don't do any important activity as well as don't communicate with any person while you are in anger, it will create unwanted problems and results in friendship or relationship break. Remain silent when you are anger and try to do yoga or meditation to come out from the angry. We are the boss to our feelings and emotions and we must control it with our effort. Never allow your emotions to control you. The person who is in extreme anger don't know whatever s/he is doing and do a lot of unwanted things due to the anger. Better to keep distance from the person who is in anger and don't communicate with them. Think about a sweet moment in your life while you are angry, it will give some change to your mood and you will come out of your anger. Practice have the ability to change a lot of things and we can change our attitudes with continuous practice. At first it is hard to control the anger, but you can control it and win over it with your dedicated practice. If you really have the interest to come out from your anger and trying hard to win it, surely you can win your anger with your effort. Believe that you have the ability to win over your temper and don't think you are a short temper person. Our thoughts and attitude also help us to come out from this kind of problems.
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
Yes, my friend. I am saddened by the fact that I have become the person I never wanted to be. I never wanted to resort to violence but because of my ill temperament, I did. I'll try to remember everything you said when an opportunity arises. Thanks for the words of wisdom.
@kaka135 (13097)
• Malaysia
10 Aug 12
When I am angry or upset, I always take a deep breath first. Then, I'll think if it's worth to get angry, what the consequence will be, why do I want to be angry, etc. Most of the time I found that it's useless and pointless for me to get angry, getting angry only makes me not happy, and the people around me not happy too. To make myself calm down, I will keep drinking lots of water, I find this really can cool down myself. Also, keep scribbling on a piece of paper, or tearing papers into pieces can help to calm down too.
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
I couldn't agree with you more, kaka135! We always hurt the ones we love. My loved ones are the reason why I want my anger issues stopped. And I think I'll try your suggestions next time anger sets in.
@toyota4k (1213)
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
I'm no expert but what I do, when I get the ire and almost boil up, I think of my blood pressure. Others say that high blood pressure is sometimes caused by having no ability to control ones temper.
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
That's another thing to consider when blowing off some steam. Chronic outburst of anger/rage could lead high blood pressure. I think I'm too young to die of a heart attack or high blood pressure. Thanks for reminding me.
@dsw313 (321)
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
I also consider myself as a nice person, I never get irritated easily, whenever I feel that I am loosing my temper, I took a deep breathe, inhales and exhales, and if this didn't work I think it's time to burst out! hey, we're just human. it's normal but try not to hurt other's feelings. :)
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
Sometimes, no matter how hard we try hold it in, it will just come running out. The kind of feeling you get when you are so fed up with people and you just want to give them a taste of their own medicine. I can't guarantee I won't hurt that person's feeling if I am in this "trance".
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
try to take a timeout.. counting from 1 to 10 before reacting to a tense situation. take a few moments to breathe normally can slow down or can help defuse your temper. take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a bit..
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
Yes, I think you're right. Maybe all I need is a break.
@layzor (11)
• Australia
10 Aug 12
my motto: Dont sweat the small stuff. I normally just laugh it off or ignore it. I understand in some situations you just cant but, be the bigger man and just walk away. Release it at the gym.
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
Yes, sweat it out at the gym! It would certainly release all the stress and tension.
@512771751 (1097)
• China
10 Aug 12
Oh, it is bad to lose temper. Maybe you should keep a calm mood and try to do everything peacefully. Or you may read some psychological books.
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
Indeed, miss number! Any suggestion on what to read?
@emdjay23 (1550)
• Philippines
9 Aug 12
I have the same attitude just like you, I am also a good person it's just that I always have a temper management issue, I used to have high temper when something is really infavorable that is happening or situation that makes me get mad. Most of the time I put my temper in just one shout then after that it cools down easily. But if situation became too long to handle, mostly my partner used to divert my attention on something or she get mad then I'll cool down.. Sometimes we have to be postive in everything that we do to avoid temper management issue.. Happy Mylotting:)
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
The perks of having a partner! and I thought fighting fire with fire would never work. Being optimistic would really help!
9 Aug 12
hey loosing your patience is really common these days specially in Teenage most of the teenager dont have control over their Anger and feelings and don't worry its natural A boy or a Girl will be short tempered until 18 and its good that you want to control this thing really good . First thing you have to do is pray and ask GOD for help . and after it what you should do when you are loosing your temper remember and think that is this necessary that i should shout or fight back to him is this really necessary cant i just Ignore it and move on . and if it does not work then you should live near greenery and a quite place that make you feel different otherwise you need to change your nature . Happy Mylotting .
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
Yes, I will definitely ask God for help about my issues.
@Micmac (5285)
9 Aug 12
Hi usemyname, What works for me is to walk away before an argument starts. I remind myself to be peaceful to people, and the best technique is prayer seeking God's help to calm my temper. Don't expect too much from people, be tolerant and learn to laugh and smile when tempers flare. You can change any situation to cool down and make a joke instead of yelling your lungs out. Another suggestion (this actually helps reduce stress, no kidding!) - Pet a cat. Petting a cat calms you and you are making your pet happy as well as yourself.
• Philippines
10 Aug 12
Yes, I strongly believe that God has all the answers. Maybe, I should go to the church. I've been missing out a lot lately. What if out of rage, you crumpled the cat while petting it. That would be a mess! LOL just kidding! Seriously, I would pet any animal but a cat. No offense to cat lovers, but I think I developed a phobia for cats while I was growing up. I almost fell and possible broke bones in my upper and lower extremities because a cat scratched me for no reason at all.
@Raine38 (8654)
• United States
9 Aug 12
My grandma would say try to recite the alphabet backwards and by the time you get half-way through you would have forgotten what you're angry at in the first place. LOL! Seriously now, I am not really temperamental and I am also not the type who like confrontations. But I can be easily provoked. I know this is something I don't want to be used to, and we all know how we are surrounded with people who are st**** enough to provoke anyone with complete disregard of the consequences, I decided I need to control my temper. What I do is I make a quick trip to the rest room and just give a yell and stay there to cool down my head a bit. I will just say, "I am not doing this here" then I excuse myself. By the time I'm done, my throat is sore enough to even give it to them. It somehow works for me, but I know it's still a work in progress. I know there's something better than how I handle it.
• Philippines
9 Aug 12
I thought this was just done in the movies. I think shouting does release the stress and "steam" inside. But doing this cotinuously could take its toll on your throat. Maybe you should stick with what your grandma advise you, raine. It's a lot safer than your current way of handling your anger.