Waiting..That's All I Seem To Do

@Janey1966 (24126)
Carlisle, England
August 14, 2012 11:31am CST
Is anyone else like this? My hubby is the one who goes to work and earns the cash to pay the bills. I try my best with some online things but - obviously, this is no substitute for a real job so I understand how hard John has to work. However, what I cannot understand is why he seems to put the most hours in compared to the others. Time and again he rings me and says "I'm gonna be late, I'm the only one here [in the office]" and, quite honestly, it's beginning to piss me off how he is being taken advantage of. This morning he told me he was going to have another busy day but - after him coming home at God knows what time yesterday (and it turns out he didn't have to as the guy he was doing the job for was elsewhere in the building) I thought he'd set off at 5pm today. This is what he normally does the day after working a tremendous amount of hours. Not so. I've just prepared my cheese, tomato and mushroom puffs (lol), about to pre-heat the oven when he rang me at 10 to 5. He told me he was going to be late. I asked him how late and he said, "I don't know, I've got this catalogue I've got to finish off." So, I've put my cheesy puff in the oven and his in the fridge. Normally, microwaving would be an option for his but a cheesy puff microwaved doesn't sound very appetising, therefore John will have to put it in the oven when he comes in - after pre-heating it again to 200 degrees C. The thing is, once all that is out of the way (and I have known tea drag on until nearly 8pm) he just wants to flop down in his chair and watch telly. Obviously, he is entitled to do this and I'd be the same..but I haven't seen him since he said "goodbye" to me at the crack of dawn and it's like I'm living here on my own. Unfortunately, the nature of his job means that every day is different. Some days he knows he can get everything done and leave at 4.30 (which he ALWAYS manages to do when he plays snooker, ironic eh) but others are more unpredictable. Then he's got all the driving to do on top of that, 20 miles each way. How much can the guy take until he has a nervous breakdown with all the stress?
4 people like this
10 responses
@inertia4 (27792)
• United States
13 Sep 12
I know the feeling. I have been there and done that. I know how hard it is to do and the toll it takes on the body. I remember sleeping only a few hours a night, getting up t go to work, driving 50 miles one way. Working, sometimes late and then driving home another 50 miles back. I was wiped out. Believe me. I started to feel run down and getting depressed after a while. But I had to go to work and make the money. I had bills to pay. After the evil ex left and took the kids, thats when it all came tumbling down. I was so stressed with work and the situation, I actually broke down. I have never been the same since.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
14 Sep 12
I'm so sorry. I tend to resign from jobs if they stress me out but I realise it is much, much harder to do so when there are lots of bills to pay. I did pay my parents for living with them but I didn't have the bills that my husband has now, although I have lived in a flat in the past (with another guy years ago) and that relationship took its toll, both emotionally and financially. Fortunately, I did recover from it but it took a while. As for the job's front. If I do get one I don't think it will be anything like what I've had in the past...and people who do have a job (like my husband and Mum) are finding it's way more stressful than it used to be as they're expected to do more..go the extra mile..as the bosses know they need the money so they won't resign. You know what I mean?
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27792)
• United States
30 Sep 12
I know exactly what you mean. It is sad when a company takes advantage of their workers. I have always believed that a relaxed and happy worker is much more efficient. But I guess these companies these days don't either see that or just plain don't care.
@RawBill1 (8541)
• Gold Coast, Australia
15 Aug 12
Well that kind of makes it difficult to plan your life doesn't it! When I used to work a job, I did all my regular overtime in the morning so I was always home at the same time. On the odd occasion that I took on extra cash work after hours I would know in advance that I was going to be there a long time before I left for the day so I would take my dinner with me. Sometimes my wife would bring the kids down and say goodnight to me while I ate so that I could at least see them. This was not too hard as we only lived two kilometres from my work at the time. I remember one time I was doing one of these jobs after hours, I went three days without seeing my kids awake even though I went home every night!
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
15 Aug 12
Yes, I should imagine it's tougher when there are children involved. The thing is, (if you see the box above), John's salary is significantly bumped up by his overtime. My way of thinking though is this; give them a decent living wage to start with so no-one actually resents doing the overtime. The guys with a mortgage (John included) HAVE to do at least some overtime in order to pay bills. Mind you, some unemployed people have been taken on in companies using "zero hours." In other words, there is no contract and they're contacted by text message to let them know if they're in on that day or not...and they don't always get paid!! It doesn't help that the bonus wasn't paid at John's work last month, something they had been relying on when it was just the one company. John knew that, once it had got taken over, the new lot would make excuses not to pay them a bonus every 3 months or so..and so it's proved. I guess John was prepared for it but the guys with kids..well..it's doubly not fair on them. They work so hard and morale is so bad now I should imagine a few of them are looking for another job but keeping it to themselves.
@RawBill1 (8541)
• Gold Coast, Australia
15 Aug 12
One thing I have realised over all the years that I have worked in factory environments is that if you treat your workers well, respect their needs and pay them well, then they will reward you by working more efficiently due to them being happier. Once workers start losing those little bonuses, whether they are monetary or just a good clean and happy workplace, then they start complaining to each other which brings down the output of the whole place. Bosses need to realise this and give adequate rewards and incentives. 15,000 pounds a year does not seem much as a base wage. That equates to 22,393.82 Aussie dollars at the moment which is well below the minimum wage. You could not survive on that here with the cost of living. How many hours is he working for that 15,000?
• China
15 Aug 12
I think It is quite a bother to you that he can't go off work on time.For one thing,It makes it difficult to prepare a meal;for another thing,it will consume extra electricity for John to heat his food after coming off work.I have known John works conscientiously.However it sounds as if sometimes the company doesn't make him work extra shift but he works for other people.I wonder if he can get paid for that.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
15 Aug 12
The "other people" you mention work at the same place. What happened was; he was finishing off a job ready to go for printing for another guy in the office, who he thought had gone home and he didn't want to get him into trouble by the job not being completed. Anyway, it turns out this chap was in another room. Now, whether the guy didn't realise the urgency of the job (as not all of them are, they get prioritised), is unclear but it caused John to be very late on Monday night. However, yesterday (when I posted this discussion) he was in at 6.15pm which is a lot better than 7.45pm. You're right about the electricity but some meals I make can be microwaved. The cheese puff (with there being a fair bit of pastry in it) might've gone soggy in the microwave so it was me who suggested he re-heat the electric oven. It didn't take long to get to temperature though as I'd already had mine lol.
• China
16 Aug 12
John is really obliging and kind-hearted.He always thinks of others and doesn't care about himself.If he does so all the way,he may burn himself out.Why don't some pull their weight?
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
14 Aug 12
As I read this discussion, I've realized that I'm having similar kind of day. I've been dragged everywhere in the shop, and yet I still have a laundry list of things to do. This is going to be a long day! I'm mylotting to relieve myself some of the stress. And maybe save myself from a nervous breakdown.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
14 Aug 12
Awww, has it improved since you posted?
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
14 Aug 12
Not yet. Everybody here at work are just about to go home. Not me!
@BarBaraPrz (21360)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
14 Aug 12
"Some days he knows he can ... leave at 4.30 (which he ALWAYS manages to do when he plays snooker, ironic eh)" I don't think irony has anything to do with it.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
14 Aug 12
What do you mean?
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (21360)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
14 Aug 12
I think he likes his job almost as much as he likes snooker.
@GardenGerty (105281)
• United States
15 Aug 12
It is annoying, I know. On the other hand, it is a blessing that he has a job at all. He just needs to not let them always make him the fall guy.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
15 Aug 12
Today he was home at 5! I was glad though. It was nice having him home early for once.
@riyauro (6428)
• India
14 Aug 12
I am saddened by reading your post. I am not into what stress your husband is taking. I think he is having fun with work. I feel sorry for you Janey. It is all you do is to wait. Where is the love? God I just wish your husband spends time with you. good day
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
14 Aug 12
It's not that bad really. He is a Virgo after all and most of them are workaholics. He hasn't suddenly gone like this, he's always been the same..it's just the amount of work his bosses want him to do isn't always possible in the time-frame specified, hence horrendous amount of overtime he has to do on occasion. Having said that, his previous employers went bust, so his way of thinking is probably this; "If I show willing I won't be sacked if staff need to be got rid of." Unfortunately, no-one is in-dispensable - especially now - but I guess he thrives on the pressure. I would be suffering "burn-out" by now I'm sure.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
14 Aug 12
Hi Janey... Workaholism is well known among men. I'm a workaholic too.. In the previous organization, I used to work all days of the week. And on a record breaking note, it was announced once that I'd worked for 6 months continuously without an off or leave.. 180 days! And I never got tired... It is common for men to work extra hours to make more money for family. Don't get angry with him dear. He's doing it for you.. Just let him know plainly that you miss him... Take care...
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
14 Aug 12
Hiya Mr Pearl! You met your girl yet? Hubby actually strolled in at 6.15 as opposed to 7pm but I was pleased to see him nonetheless. You sound like my hubby with the leave business. He's the same. Hardly ever has a day off.
• United States
14 Aug 12
I can certainly understand. One of my best friends had gone since Thanksgiving since she spent any time with her hubby. His job was/is in alabama and their home was in Mississippi. She had to spend all the time alone. Her hubby was always on call and never got home. Thankfully they sold their home in Miss and they are now together in Alabama. Still he doesn't get days off cause he is on call. It's hard.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
14 Aug 12
I found out on a telly programme earlier that a new thing over here is "Zero Hours" whereby newly employed people aren't given a proper contract and are contacted via text each day to let them know whether or not they are due to work that day (sometimes at around 11.30 in the morning). Something like that would really do my head in and I'm sure my hubby prefers his situation (regular pay) to what I've just mentioned..as these people don't always get paid for the hours they do, which is criminal really. McDonalds are one of the biggest culprits and there are 350,000 or so having to put up with this treatment, not all of them at McDonalds..but enough.
@NailTech (6890)
• United States
14 Aug 12
Awe, that is so terrible about his working conditions and how he has work so late some evenings. It is at least more pay though. I do know what you mean by not seeing him and him wanting to just crash on the couch and watch TV after work and dinner. My brother here doesn't even work long hours and he still just wants to do that after work, so I'm assuming your hubby is a bigger man than him, God Bless him. He is a catch, i want to try to find a hard working man like him one day.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
14 Aug 12
There's me thinking he'd stroll in at around 7pm and he walked in at 6.15pm so it wasn't as bad as I thought. He is quite a catch and thanks...I'm sure you will find someone like my hubby one day. I only met him in my late 30s (I'm 46 now and we married in 2005) so it just goes to show what can happen if you don't give up. He's tall but not muscly or anything..just darned good at what he does. He's not an outdoors man at all which is just as well really as he spends a lot of time indoors. It's a wonder he doesn't get rickets, the small amounts of Vitamin D he gets each day.