Should/How do you show to the world you're married?

@laydee (12814)
Philippines
August 18, 2012 7:10am CST
I have a close friends of mine who is in Dubai working and she has been there for a couple of years now. She met her husband there, a fellow Filipino, and they got married there last year. Now, I see some disturbing "issues" between their relationship because it seems that the guy was cheating. She posted there a photo of the guy and the girl sitting beside each other and said "Dear, this was the picture you deleted that meant everything to you". I am pretty sure that was the last straw for my friend because she has kept her calm until today. Checking on the Facebook of the husband, there's no mention of her nor their marriage whatsoever and the guy seemed like he's "single". So my question to you wives and husbands. Do you or should you force your husband/wife to change public status on social networking sites and all other "public" places? Should it be forced that the guy/girl wear the wedding ring or show to the public he/she is married? Feels to me, the guy wasn't acting like a married guy that's why this "issue" occurred to them. Thanks in advance for the thoughts. Have a great MylOt experience ahead!
2 people like this
8 responses
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
19 Aug 12
no I never force him to show the world he is married and he never forces me to do that either none of us wear wedding rings, we have the rings but we don't wear them it does surprise people to know that we are married but then again we never act as if we are single anyway personally I think forcing anyone to do anything is a waste of time and energy first of all, no one wants to be told what to do, unless it's a job and even that it;s not a guarantee they will do as told second of all, you won't stop anyone from cheating just by showing marital status a cheater is a cheater. if he doesn't cheat now, he will cheat later. he'll just come up with an excuse such as unhappy marriage, or can't divorce due to whatever it is LOL and then we know some women don't care whether a man is married or not so really, showing marital status, wearing rings, won't do much
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 Aug 12
Yes, you do have a point there. But what are you going to do if you were in her position and he doesn't admit the mistake and tell you that you're crazy about what you were thinking. Well, I wouldn't know what to do either but I would have guessed that it's because he was living life as if he's single whenever his wife wasn't around.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
20 Aug 12
well it's pretty clear what I would do if I were in her position I would definitely separate or divorce him it's not a matter of jealousy it's just that by his actions it's clear that he didn't mean the promise he said at the wedding ceremony so there is no reason for me to stay in the marriage, or in the relationship itself it's pretty clear cut to me, I'm not sure what other women would do though
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
18 Aug 12
i am a husband and i am a very ignorant man.if it is me i personally do not think we have to and must change our status on social networking sites or else place because it is not so important things in my opinion.it is also for the wedding ring,my spouse did not has to wear the wedding ring because if it is me it is a momento once a life time so i am afraid for losing it so i just keep it at my room desk.come on the important things is if we can trust and understand each other
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
18 Aug 12
Yes, trust is important but how could you keep other men from going near your wife? I mean, if there are signs that she's already married then other men would no longer need to pursue her. But if she still looks like a young unmarried woman, and she's beautiful then for sure someone else would like to woo her without you there. What would you do? Thanks for the response!
• Indonesia
18 Aug 12
of course i can not forbid everyone to keep out from my wife but in my opinion the most important things is my wife it self.even if a lot of man going near her if she does not care for that man thats okay isnt it?slowly that men will tired and gone for it self.and that is why we need trust for each other for it
@manduri20 (108)
• Uganda
18 Aug 12
my dear learn this most of the people on social networks are single but in real life are very married with kids I'm not trying to defend them but i think it feels good to be single in a fake world as long as you are not doing something bad behind it
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 Aug 12
The problem here is the fact that the husband has a picture with this girl and someone accidentally posted it on the page of the husband and the wife was able to view it. The photo was really disturbing for a wife to see because they were really close and flirting. I would have been hysterical as well. But yeah, this problem is really between the husband and the wife. Thanks for sharing. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
@Raine38 (9029)
• United States
18 Aug 12
Changing one's Facebook status and wearing a wedding ring isn't going to stop someone from cheating, nor will it prevent him from doing so, and it isn't going to begin to prove that he's not cheating. It shouldn't be the basis for one's commitment to a spouse; marriage goes way beyond that. Though I gathered that your friend was trying to get the guy to do just that because of suspicion of cheating. I can somehow understand her, but if ever the guy did change his Facebook status, and starts wearing his wedding ring, will your friend be convinced that he's loyal and she will have peace of mind? I don't think so, and in the process, it will just create more friction. I suggest she address the root of the matter directly, what exactly is wrong with the guy and what brings about his behavior, which is the total disregard of "being married" thingy.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 Aug 12
You are right with the response, I don't really know the "root" of it all, I just saw it on Facebook and I was looking into her page and I noticed that "symptoms" of friction were showing when she started posting quotes of marriage and loyalty since the early of this year. Perhaps she just wasn't able to control her frustration so she posted the photo and commented that way. Indeed we cannot really force anyone to act otherwise, but I was thinking that perhaps him wearing and acting like married guy would somehow shoo away women. But I know for a fact that there are women who are actually attracted to married guys all the more. Whew! It's tough to be married these days! Thanks for the thoughts. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
@kulisap (71)
18 Aug 12
I never asked my husband to change his facebook profile, nor do i ask him to wear his wedding ring. He just did/does it on his own. I figured if a guy wants to cheat, he will cheat. No matter how many rules you set in a marriage, if he's a player, he will always be a player. I guess I'm just lucky to have a faithful husband.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 Aug 12
My mom always tells me that in choosing a partner, luck also plays a factor. Indeed you are lucky to have a faithful husband and I pray that he'll always be faithful and same goes with you. Indeed there's no point in forcing someone because if the person wants to cheat, we cannot do anything about it. Thanks for dropping by. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
• Philippines
20 Aug 12
I think, they shouldn't be forced in the first place because they are married. If one loves a person, automatically you have to do that. And if you really love that person, you must avoid things that may cause understanding between the two of you. And you marry him/her, because you love him. You may look like single, but your heart must not be one. You can be friends with opposite s*x but know your limitation. You're the one who knows your partner anyway. Hope this helps! :)
1 person likes this
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
18 Aug 12
I am on Facebook and even my husband is on face but we have not hidden our identity as such. My hubby has no objection nor I am having the objection . One should be open minded then everything will work fine in relationship.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (17062)
• United States
18 Aug 12
As a married women I don't see this being a big deal. My husband he doesn't really have time for facebook so he doesn't always update every time something new to comes in our live. He doesn't have in his profile that we are having another baby. Now he also having updated a picture or has that many pictures of our daughter on facebook even though his is set to private. Yes there are pictures of him with other girls but all of them I personally know or have been told about. Really I don't thinks it's the world's need to know if someone is in a relationship or not and it's not really the other person job to make or tell there partner they need to update there stuff because they married or in some kind of relationship with that person. I can't force my husband to do anything he doesn't want to do and he can't force me to do anything I don't want to do. I don't change my profile or updated regular. Now if someone is cheating in that relationship that is between those party and not the world either, because when you think of it the whole world isn't really going to care the people close to you might but not all of the time. I really wouldn't care less if my husband's facebook said he was single because even if another women tried hitting on him I know he wouldn't cheat on me and even if it looked like it online I would fallow my heart and gut and I know he wouldn't cheat on me he isn't that kind of guy. He has seen what cheating did to his family as small child and never wants to do that to me and to his children.
1 person likes this