Getting a tutor for your child

Philippines
August 28, 2012 9:22pm CST
My husband and I were talking last night about his high school days. He was telling me about her teacher, who was also her tutor, who taught him how to cheat on his exams. Before their exams were given, this tutor would tell him to prepare two pieces of paper and he will be asked to write the answers heavily on the first paper so that it will mark on the second one. He would then use that second paper when they were told to get a piece of paper for the actual exam. He would just follow those marks on the paper for him to get the right answers. I asked my husband why would his teacher do that. He said maybe his teacher was afraid that he would fail the exam because her mom was paying her to tutor him. I don't think it is a valid a reason nor I can't even think of a good reason to teach someone to cheat on his exams. I asked him if her mom knew about it. He answered no. How would you feel if you found out that the tutor you hire to teach your child would do such thing? Thank you.
3 people like this
13 responses
@Otanetix (509)
• United States
29 Aug 12
Having a teacher teach that type of method to a student is absolutely inexcusable. When you teach a student to cheat, the student is being cheated out of an education. That teacher's license should have been revoked a long time ago. Teachers who tell their students to cheat are basically trying to take the easy route on their part. It is an insult to the person who was told to cheat. It's almost like saying that you are better off just cheating because you will most certainly will fail if you don't cheat. If a teacher cannot teach them the fundamentals of a certain subject, then they have failed as a teacher. It's not that the student that has failed the teacher; it is the teacher that has failed the student.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Thanks for your response, you are so right. Last night, I was asking my husband if he knows if that teacher is still in the school where he graduated high school. He said he doesn't know and asked why. I said that she should not be teaching anymore because she might ruin more kid's future for what she is doing. He explained to me that after the teacher taught him to cheat, she also advised him to study. But he told himself, WHY DO I STILL HAVE TO STUDY IF I HAVE THE ANSWERS ALREADY? I SHOULD HAVE JUST STUDIED THE LESSON AND ANSWER MY EXAM ON MY OWN. See the effect of this to a child?
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
If I'm a mom of your husband and I found out that his tutor who happened to be his teacher taught him that way of course I would certainly be disappointed and not only that I would stop the tutorial class right away. If I just hired a tutor who is a university graduate or other people will I would be disappointed but not too much disappointment like having a tutor who is a teacher by profession but teaching to do bad things. I think that teacher is not really a good teacher and is not doing her best. I'm also wondering if your husband really learn something from his tutor who is his teacher. Another thing I'm also thinking perhaps your husband at that time take his teacher's class as just a joke or simple class for his teacher taught him to cheat and not only that taught him that life is so simple don't complicate if you have an easy option like "cheating". I'm so sad to read this message...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
You are so right about your observations. My husband told me that he really had a hard time when he entered college because he can't catch up with what her professors are teaching because he difinitely doesn't learn the basics. You are also the right he always think that life is so simple and I and other people around are just making it complicated. He would often don't listen or would just make a joke out of it if he thinks that what we are talking are complicated. So I guess that this previous incident during his high school days has an impact to his behavior. I have not opened about it to my mother in law and I don't know how would she react. But I am happy that my husband is open to me. There are so many things he did not tell her mom that he is telling me day by day.
@youless (92319)
• Guangzhou, China
30 Aug 12
I don't like this kind of teacher. Your son may have a good score now because this teacher gave him right answers from the paper before the exam. Even if your son doesn't study at all, at least he can still pass the exam. He can cheat for some time, but not forever. When it is time for him to have the exam to go to university, I am afraid it will not work well. If I were you, I would change another good tutor immediately. Besides, teaching the students to cheat is wrong, especially she is a teacher. I love China
• India
30 Aug 12
Hi friend, shocked to hear about this, really the tutor is not a good person and he spoiled the learning interest of the student, if i found my son's teacher in this sort, surely i change the school and stop that tutor, because our kids don't gain any knowledge by learning under this kind of tutors
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Thanks for your response. You are right because this has made my husband think that what is the use of exerting your effort to review or study when you already have the answers. I really find that unacceptable and really told him last night while we're discussing about it.
@narnia007 (1051)
• India
29 Aug 12
As far as my high school days,none of my tutors taught me how to pass the exam in a crooked way.Besides,I was scoring fairly high in those days.I have not been married,but if I find,my children being taught to cheat in exams by the tutor who is supposed to make them them excel,I would cancel his tuition immediately and such a teacher does not deserve to be in the field of teaching.
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
You really said it right. That tutor does not really deserve to be in the field of teaching. It is too sad that there are people like her that they are just after the money being payed to them and does not really care about the child's future.
@beenice2 (2273)
• Canada
29 Aug 12
I assume that s tutor is not cheap to have. I frankly have home schooled my kids and still does and sure don't need to pay a tutor ( lost of money). Well it is sad to see that your husband's tutor was dishonest toward him and his parents, did he tell his parents about it? And if his parents knew how was their reactions?
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Hi, thanks for asking. He did not tell anyone until I discovered it. I was planning to tell them. Was still wondering why they haven't discovered about it. How many years have already passed. As a parent, you still need to have time to assess your kids performance in school. You can just sit for a while with them to know if they are really learning and improving.
• India
29 Aug 12
getting a tutor for your child is a good idea and it really helps u a lot with respect to the growth of your child. a tutor really helps your child in many ways. but if ur child is really very small its nt a good idea of having a tutor mothers love is precious and they have to experience that than the outsiders. ultimately in future u might lose ur relationship with ur child. so at small age tutors shud be parents not outsiders as their age growws then give a tutor a chance in d field of education and life activities
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
I know how important a tutor can be in our children's lives. I also agree with you that as a parent, we should be our kid's first tutors. But sometimes, parents needs professional help from teachers who knows many techniques in teaching different kinds of students. This can happen when a child is not performing good in school.
@nupur123 (392)
• Hyderabad, India
29 Aug 12
One of my neice is going for this tutor thing and can u imagine that for tution she is going to her own class teacher . I was so surprized to hear this as if she need tution that mean her teacher is not teaching her properly so why she is taking tution from her . She answered me by saying that she is been forced by her to do this , she says that if i need good mark then i have to take tution from her . This her teacher told her . Now tell me this is the education system in my country .
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Thank you for sharing your niece' story. I know how expensive tuition fees and tutor fees nowadays. From what country are you from?
@Fulltank (2896)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Actually it all depends between you and your husband's free time. if you both are working and knows that you can still have that extra time attending to your kids school assignments, then it would be better to do that sacrifice. As there are no better teacher to our kids than us. But, if you think otherwise, and your kids grades are being affected, then why not get a tutor for them. Tutoring is becoming popular these days now that both parents are working, but for me, even though we are both working, I still prefer to be my kids teacher and tutor. Its all worth it, when you see the result of your sacrifice.
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
Thanks, you are right. I know that tutors are really helpful to parents when it comes to their children's education. If I would have to hire a tutor for my children, I would still make sure that they are improving and not like what has happened to my husband that his tutor just taught him how to cheat.
@rsa101 (13887)
• Quezon City, Philippines
29 Aug 12
Wow that tutor should be ashamed of herself. I think that is just not good that they were hired to enhance the knowledge of the student but he teaches them to cheat instead.
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
That is right. I wonder if she still teach in the school where my husband graduated high school. She really did not do what is expected of her and instead, teaches the child wrong behavior. Thanks for sharing.
• China
29 Aug 12
If the tutor I hired would do such a thing to my child, I think I will fire him. A good tutor should has his principle.
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
I will surely do the same. This tutor does not really deserve to be called as one nor she is deserving to be called as a teacher.
@Shavkat (63540)
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
I will be get angry, since if the child will be caught along the process of exams. Then, both of them will be in hot sit. The reputation of both sides will be jeopardized.
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
I fully understand if you will feel that way. I would also be shocked if they are caught when all the while I was thinking that my child is doing good. And besides, I trusted this tutor so I can't really imagine how disappointed I would be. Thanks for sharing.
• United States
29 Aug 12
My child was not doing good in high school. She did very well in her other grades. school is not for everyone and she may have thought it was the only way to help him pass. no one will ever know the real reason. some parents are so strict that this is something that a person would be forced to do to save a child from harm.
• Philippines
29 Aug 12
Thank you. I am impressed with you being broad and open minded for trying to understand her reasons for doing that. I myself think that I will be very disappointed if the tutor I hire would teach my child to cheat. I mean I am spending money to pay for her services and entrusted my child to her and yet my child won't really learn. In one way or another, I think that it affects the child's behavior and future.