How to raise a child?

@tidaro (49)
Canada
September 3, 2012 8:59pm CST
Hi, I have a daughter. She's 2 years old and it seems that she's getting pretty stubborn and cry for everything. I'm a first time father and always wanted to have children. When my wife got pregnant I wasn't sure I was prepared to raise a child. Now, I have many more doubts, fears and a strong tendency of overprotect her. Before turning 2 years old it was all fun, but now the time has come to give her first lessons about living in society and respecting her parents and other people. It is an awesome challenge and I hope I'm up to the task. What about you? Do you have children? Remember when was the hardest time with them? What did you do?
3 people like this
15 responses
@mtrguanlao (5527)
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
Hi tidaro! Welcome to mylot! It really amazes me to hear how a father loves to take care of his child,you're a one good father,I can feel that. It's really not easy to raise a child but with much love for her,I'm sure you can do it with ease. I do have kids and my youngest is 4 years old. When she was 2,I just let her explore things on her own,that's how she learns from many things she likes to do. I even let her play with sand and she really enjoys it much! But of course,I clean her after that. Whenever she does things wrongly like not letting to share her toys with her cousins,I explain to her that it is not good and she should share it with others so when she is at their place,they will also share their toys to her. With being stubborn and crying all the time,give her some new things she can play with. Or try to examine her,she may be feeling some pain or anything that makes her uncomfortable.
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
Thanks for your words... In fact my wife and I were just talking about getting our daughter news toys to play. That's true! I know I said she's stubborn, but thinking better now, she's just like me!!!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
Haha,so she inherited the stubbornes from you,like father like daughter eh!
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
Indeed she did!!!
• India
4 Sep 12
Hi friend, welcome to mylot. You are right, it is really hard to raise the kids, i have 2 sons, elder is with 5 years and younger son is with 3 years, we have lot of fun and enjoyment with them, my younger son is very adamant, it is really hard to manage him
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
Hello, Thank you for your words. I guess we have the most difficult task in the world: raise good human beings...
@shawon25 (49)
• Bangladesh
4 Sep 12
Bro about me i am now as a single , but about care or raise of child i can tell you a small idea .i have a small cute brother , and he is now a days try to copy me . HE follow my work and much more what i do , so i get so much fun and i also love him too much . Lets see how can me and my family raise him . Pray for him and i also pray for your family .
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
Thanks buddy! Yeah, my daughter is always copying my wife... it's funny!
4 Sep 12
every thing will be easier as she grows up , when she enter school, when she exactly understand what you mean by every word .. my son was like this but now he is better especially when he meets a lot of kids from the same age, i take him to the child gym, kids playing where he plays with a lot of people ... communicate with your daughter as you are at her age, but off course not all the time , u have to play the father role.. don't give her anything after she cries even if one time , then she will understand that crying is not the way to get what she want... you have to be patient to hear her crying as much as you can..
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
Patient, that's the key! I take my daughter to activities with other kids from our community and it's being great to watch her interact with them. Thanks...
4 Sep 12
Thanks be to God! All my kids are all grown-up. It's really difficult to raise a child with all your dreams and aspirations that they would grow a good person,successful in all their endeavors and most of all loving and God fearing. We really have had lots of trials and problems... But, I have my God as my source of all my strength whom I know will not leave me in all my difficulties. Until I noticed that they are all professionals and doing good in their profession having Christ always the center of their lives as what I am always reminding them to do...
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
You made a good point there because we do have our dreams and aspirations and sometimes they get in conflict with some priorities our children have.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
Hi, Tidaro! I have four kids and it is indeed a big responsibility raising them. I think as a mother, you already have an instinct of how you want to raise you kids. But I remember, when my eldest son was still a few months old, my husband would be always coming home late. He leaves the house going to his friends, and goes home during lunch and dinner only. Then comes back home around 11 pm. So one night, he found me crying. I told him that I want him to share the responsibilities of raising our child. I don't see in him that he is that excited to have the kid or to help me take care of him. I think he knows what he was really missing out and he blurted out saying that he doesn't know how to be a father coz he never was a father before. It was the first time I saw him cry. I felt pity on him. And so I just asked him to be around most of the time in the house than spend all of his time outside with friends.
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
Four kids?!?!?! yeah you must have a lot of experience! Wow, that must have been difficult for both of you! You know, we moved to Canada 30 days ago and I was kind of doing the same thing your husband used to do. But I was just working too much. I barely had time for family. Then, I decided that I wanted to change that and stay longer with my daughter. She was most of time with her grandparents and her nanny and I was seeing my baby only in the evening when she wasn't already sleeping. Of course that my plans to move to Canada came long before my child was even born. After she came into our lives, I knew I was doing the right thing. Here in Toronto I spend so much time your her, I feel joy on everything we do together. It's awesome. I now work on line and managed time much better... The best thing is that I'm with her while she's growing...
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
I have 3 kids. Eldest is a 15 year old girl, 2nd is 12 years old boy and the youngest is turning 5 this month also a boy. It is really hard to raise kids but also fulfilling. It gives us happiness. Tantrums for me is an easy task. I think raising teenagers are the most difficult times. They have their peer groups and as parents we must give them time also for themselves. So far we have a very open communication line. I am glad because they trust me and they are not afraid or ashamed to ask or tell me anything they want. I know their crushes. My teenage boy already had a girlfriend before. My only daughter have crushes and suitors and she still don't want to be in a relationship and I am very glad about that. Just let your kids know that they can trust you and that whatever happens you are always at their side. And there are times that we disagree with their judgement, we cannot just get angry with them. We must tell them why we disagree with certain things. And as a kid we must introduce them to God so that they are aware of his existence and by that they will be a better person.
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
Yeah, I also believe that having a good communication with your son is really important, because this means he or she trusts you and is willing to share with you his or her problems and doubts. Everybody says that teenager time is the most difficult time. For the moment I can only wonder on how it's going to be, but taking me as example, I know it's hard for parents. Thank you!
@raghwagh (1528)
• India
4 Sep 12
Hi friend I can understand how you may be feeling. I also have a 2 years boy. As per the information which I collected in this age children are stubborn and they do cry for everything. It is human normal tendency of manipulating others by doing something. This is what children do. By crying they try to manipulate their parents mind to get things done. In this stage parents have a responsibility of understanding them better and convincing the child as to what is correct and wrong. This is the true challenge for parents. There is fun in this also. Also as a father it a responsibility to sometimes scold the child and show him if things are done incorrectly. When one parent scolds the child the other one should be calm and supportive with the child so that child doesn't feel insecure. I think it is a very happy challenge of being a parent and growing a child.
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
Thank you Raghwagh! As mention before, we just started to punish our daughter when she does something wrong by taking her to a place in our home and leaving her there for a couple of minutes. Then we talk to her and try to explain what happened and why she is there. Let's see what happens... And you're right, to let your child know when she's doing something right and when she's doing something wrong is really necessary. They must have this perception for life.
@krupar5 (287)
• United States
4 Sep 12
Hi Tidaro, It is always difficult to be a parent. We always want what is best for them, and even if we do our best, it does not always turn out the way we want or plan. I am also a parent and I remember how hard it was when my children was that age. I still have 1 more to go! Do not doubt how you are teaching your daughter because as long as you love her and show her respect and keep consistent with discipline, she will learn. Children learn a lot by listening and watching what we do. She is at the age where she is learning her boundaries and independence. Have faith and patience because she will test you. For me 2 years old is not as difficult for me as my 15 year old, but knowing that I taught her respect and life lessons, I know that she will have a good life and be successful. Good luck and I am sure you will be a wonderful parent.
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
Thank you very much for your words Krupar5! Indeed, she's testing us all the time. You're right, with love and respect we make a whole difference in life... You mean that I still have to deal with 15 years old?!?!?!? hehehehehehe When mine reach that age, I'll send you a message. Thank once again!
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
I've got a son. I'm so lucky that he wasn't that stubborn when he was younger. He's turning 8yo this coming Thursday. He's easy to talk to. When he wants something, he doesn't need to cry to get it. If we tell him we don't have enough money to buy that we need to buy our needs first he understands us. I guess not spoiling them when they are still young is good. You have to show and tell her that she can't get what she wants everytime she want something. Show your authority so that she will respect you.
@tidaro (49)
• Canada
4 Sep 12
I understand your point. Despite the fact she's our first child, we don't spoil her. Recently we created a place where she goes when she does something wrong, such as hits people. It's a supper nanny thing, we just started... let's see what happens... Thank you for your comments.
5 Sep 12
yupz , before i give suggestion to you i wanna say hello i am new member here, ok i just wanna give you suggestion to more patient,and when children crying it isn't because them not obidents with us but their crying is as way to let we know about their feeling that is hungry, thirsty or something wrong with their feeling. the hardest time me and my daughter is when i don't understand what he want, but know i learn from past time and this time i can understand her well, i just think what she need and what thing more her feeling good and comfortable. so tidaro daughter is more need to attract our caring with her, and my suggestion give her new activity that it can make her comfort n busy,
@toyota4k (1212)
• Philippines
5 Sep 12
I have an only son and raising him was not that easy especially getting him through college. Now he is an expectant father and in two month's time I would be a grandpa to a girl. I'm excited.
• United States
5 Sep 12
Your daughter is in the terrible twos. Children are all like that at her age. She'll grow out of it. You really should read the "What to Expect Before Expecting" books. My grandmother has always said that "Children don't come with a book. They don't come with instructions", and this is true, they really don't, but you do the best that you can for them. Make sure she has a safe environment, that she is fed, that she has a place to play, a place to sleep, and that she medical care if she needs it. I used to babysit children (which is the reason why I don't any yet), and I know how tough they can be. I have taken care of all ages. Your daughter is in a stage called the "Terrible Twos". Children in this stage cry a lot, get emotional, they are stubborn because they want things their way and they can't quite verbalize what they want, and they will give you a hard time. If she has a tantrum, then all you can do is just let her cry it out, but whatever you do, never give her what she wants. Give her want she needs, but not what she wants because if she gets what she want then that will give her the right to walk all over you as she gets older. Don't ever let her think that she can get everything that she wants.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
4 Sep 12
You sound like a good father . I dont have a child but I have taken care of relative and friends babies I love it . I do notice that when they are babies they are really easier to deal with than when they become toddlers . I always spoil them but a parents cannot do that . Fear is not always a bad thing it help us in making good decision you will be ok ..
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
4 Sep 12
I have been lucky enough to be blessed with two wonderful children. My daughter is now nine years old and my son is five years old. To date I would have to say that the biggest challenge that I have had with them has been potty training simply because of the fact that they were just so darned stubborn. However, considering the fact that I have already been through several stages with them I do know that there is a different set of challenges that come with each stage of raising a child. What I really have to admit is that I am not at all looking forward to facing the challenge of raising my daughter through adolescence. I already know it is going to be a bear.