Does it bother you when others twist your words?
@CookingIsMyPassion (653)
United States
September 8, 2012 12:58am CST
Does it bother you when others twist your words?
This happened the other day. A family member offered to help us. Was waiting for us to arrange time to be together and start a project together.
We agreed that the help would be wonderful because it would take less time and we could also get to visit too.
Sleeping arrangements are hard. Not enough beds in the house to sleep two additional people unless my husband and I sleep on two different couches and give up our bed. That wasn't a problem.
Then I was asked about my son's room. I said he only has a twin bed and it only fits one person.
I didn't say they couldn't stay, I said the bed wasn't big enough for two.
The next thing I hear is do you really want us to come? I said yes, we will manage arrangements some how, nothing to worry about.
I hear next, well you did agree to our help. I said yes I did agree to your helping us.
So what comes next?
Here goes, if you didn't want us to come and help just say so!
Oh boy, that is not what was said at all. Those words didn't come up from our end at all.
Well, after a whole back and forth conversation and a second call they aren't coming up to help after all.
Why do people twist things, do they just not listen or hear things that differently?
Does this ever happen to you and what did you do about it?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
8 Sep 12
Seems to me that they read too many things in your words. Why can't they just take your words as it is? It isn't hard to understand. Is this family member really too sensitive? I would be bothered if someone would put words into my mouth and totally make a big deal out of something that isn't even there, much less something I didn't even say.
I think you've done your part. You cannot be held liable for someone's level of understanding.
@CookingIsMyPassion (653)
• United States
8 Sep 12
I love your line and have been asking myself that for years in many other circumstances too. And no, they aren't the over sensitive types.
Why can't they just take your words as it is?
Wonderful statement and very true. Thanks for understanding exactly what I said and responding back. Glad to hear I do make sense and can be heard.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
25 Apr 13
I have got fed up of hearing twisted words like this;
Why do people do this?
The answer I have in mind may not suit your context but by and large I have found this a common characteristic in certain people and on certain occasions.
According to me, there are few people who can never accept something with grace lest they feel obliged; they always make it a point to reinforce the benefits the other person would derive because they do not like to feel that they have gained. These people always ‘live for others’ and also suggest things ONLY for the benefit of others.
In your case, if it is going to inconvenience you in any way it would seem that they are gaining from the transaction; [you have mentioned it is a common project too that you are going to start]
They just want to make doubly sure that you are the one who is the major beneficiary in this transaction.
