Should I go for the break-up?

@bembzee (769)
Philippines
September 13, 2012 6:07am CST
Our relationship didn't start seriously, i mean it's just because of a misunderstanding that brought us together. It's like yesterday we were just friends and the next day we were boyfriend/girlfriend. Well this is the problem... My partner took it seriously and now i'm facing a big problem about this. He admitted that he was deeply in love with me and he wanted this relationship to continue. I fell for him of course but now i've realized that what i felt was really nothing, though i already agreed to continue. Well i don't want to hurt his feelings but i also don't want him to expect for more. So should i go for the break up? I feel really bad about it...
3 people like this
17 responses
• United States
14 Sep 12
Break up with him and do it now. If you are not in love staying is worse. All that will happen is he will fall deeper in love and you will soon resent him more and more. Yes breaking up now will hurt now but it is far better than leading him on by staying. Just sit him down and tell him. Don't text! Tell him face to face. Look at it this way, he deserves to find a woman who will love him . If you don't , let him go so he can find her!
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Thanks for telling me this, cause i nearly broke off with him by texting him. Im so confuse right now hope you could give me more suggestions?
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 12
Have him meet you for coffee, in the day. Tell him Exactly how you feel . It is going to hurt him but it needs to be done and face to face.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
I think you're right, this should be done face to face. Thanks for giving me this advice..
1 person likes this
@mythociate (14990)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
14 Sep 12
Warn him that he's on thin ice ... that he still has to 'win' you; that you're not just devoted to him, but that you're devoted to 'a good time for all' (you first ) Don't tell him that so-abruptly, but--you know--maybe 'enlist some competition-for-your-heart' against him (i.e. another lover or loved-activity that you go to instead of him). That way you can 'leave him' without entirely "burning that bridge" until you're 'secure in a life that doesn't include him' (either 'committed to someone else ' or 'enlisted as a nun at the abbey'), and can maybe tell him what he did wrong then. Until then, give him plenty of "hints" that he needs to change for you.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
I feel bad for him though.. It's my fault, if only i didn't agree.
@mythociate (14990)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
16 Sep 12
Such is life, or--as all Buddhas know (and all Buddhists faithfully agree)--"Life is Suffering." As one of my favorite Buddhas said while He was still a Bodhisattva, "How long must I suffer this world?"; showing us that 'suffer' means "let things happen (whether good or bad)" more than "endure through painful punishment" (although 'painful punishment' is when you most-notice you are 'suffering'). What's more, people have to 'acknowledge that punishment'---i.e. they HAVE to change as the world changes, or else they lose active-status in the world today (practically rotting away `til all that's left of them is "part of the crew, part of the ship! part of the crew, part of the ship!" (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End))
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
14 Sep 12
Oh, it means you don't love that guy...so that better you should speak out your feeling toward to him, he needs to know the truth...You can't pretend that you love him forever, right? It hurts him a bit but later he should say thank to you
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
I do love him at some point, but i'm too confused to know what i really feel.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
26 Sep 12
Umh, then you need more time to confirm that you love him or not...
@Bryanx54 (644)
14 Sep 12
Yes I agree with of the opinions above; if you don't want to take this seriously you should tell him, but do it in a way that you two can become close friends. So in a way you don't lose him all together but now your not in a serious relationship you didn't want. Who knows you could still possibly fall in love with him.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
There is a possibility that i might fall for him but i don't want to fall for that guy because i pity him.
@almond24 (1250)
• Hungary
13 Sep 12
If you could imagine your future with him, and if you could imagine that you will be able to feel real love for him, then maybe you could give it a chance. But only after letting him know how you feel, and if he agrees. Otherwise it seems better to finish it, before you bot get hurt more, because it's unfair for both of you.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Well there are times that i thought i was falling for him but i'm still unsure about what i'm feeling.
• Greece
13 Sep 12
Prolonging this relationship will only hurt this person more. If you are honest and gentlein your explanation to him you might be able to salvage the friendship you had before the misunderstanding developed. There's no need to feel bad about it, you both rushed in too fast. That's all.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
I think you're right we just rushed up things and now we're both trapped in this situation.
• United States
13 Sep 12
Yes, you should go for the break-up. You're just hurting both of you. If you don't love him, why stay right?
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
Right. But my head says no or my heart? I don't know. I guess i'm confuse.
@riyauro (6430)
• India
13 Sep 12
YES you should get over this relationship when you are not feeling for him. This is not a charity here and it is a matter of your life and his also. He has to feel bad one day or another so better it be now then later. I hope you are getting the point. Finish it off and be good otherwise you won't be happy in this relationship. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
Ouch,that hurts. But you are right this is not a matter of a charity. Love is essential to a happy individual you are in the future. Now i really messed up.
• China
13 Sep 12
Sometimes,the longer the time is,the deeper the hurt is. If you are not sure your feeing,you can give yourself a chance and a period of time.Don't make a dicision blindly. At the same time,you should talk with him face to face and be frank.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
I'm buying some time to understand everything, considering few advises from my peers and friends. I may sound selfish but i am also afraid of losing a very good friend. Thank you,time is what i needed the most.
@mensab (4208)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
i feel that you know that there is something wrong in the relationship. if you can not see yourself with the guy for a long time, do not pretend to be in the relationship because you are just wasting your time and effort. it is wiser to discontinue and put your time and effort to someone else whom you see yourself to be with for a long time.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
The problem of being me is i hate facing the truth. I'm afraid of the outcome of my aggressive decision. You are right but i need more time because i don't want to loss him totally.
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
Are you happy being with him? If the answer is no, go for the break up. Why stay in a relationship when it's just one sided. It's called relationship because the feeling is mutual. But you're saying that you don't have anything but pity. You do care for him, but it's not care for a lover but for a friend. No matter what you do, you will still hurt him. Be it now or later on. So why prolong the relationship when you're unhappy and besides in the end he'll get hurt anyway. That is if you don't develop feelings for him later on. Anyway, it's your decision and i'm just merely answering your question based on what you've revealed. Good luck and hope you'll make the right decision.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
I wish after i make up my mind we can still be friend.
• United States
13 Sep 12
If your feelings aren't the same as his for him, then I would end it. You'll going to hurt his feelings anyways, but at least it will be less painful if you break it off early than pretending to like him and staying with him to break up with him after letting it go on for so long. Just tell him why you are breaking up with him and he should understand. You shouldn't be forced into a relationship that you are just going to pretend just cause you don't want to hurt him.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
I knew what i did was a stupid teenage decision. I will try to straighten things soon. Thank you Mimi.
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
There is no use pretending to like somebody if you don't. You may hurt him, but it is better to tell him the truth and cut it off early, rather than go through the whole thing with you enduring him.
@bembzee (769)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
I think you're right. It's better to end this now than to make him suffer, not mentioning i myself is suffering. thanks.
@MsTickle (24991)
• Australia
23 Sep 12
Be fair to yourself and to him. Arrange to meet him in a public place. Have a friend waiting for you in the background. Go to him and say... I don't love you. I don't want to be with you. I am breaking up with you. [i]Goodbye [/i] Turn around and leave Go find your friend and walk away. You have done the right thing. Anything else that happens is his problem. He is not your responsibility.
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
It's not fair to make him believe that you love him. Better tell him the truth and be a good friend. You will surely hurt his feelings but it is better to that this early than make him wait and hope.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
it would not be fair to him if you are not honest about how you feel. it would not also be fair to you to pretend and suffer. it would be more hurtful for him to learn it later. i hope you can muster the courage to tell him at once. it would be best for both of you.
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
if the main reason of breaking up with him is because your feeling for him is just nothing, then go and tell him. find an appropriate approach to make him understand about what you want to do with your relationship. but here you are asking us if you should go for a break up. okay try this question into yourself, why you need to pursue this and what would be your reasons why you need to stop it? if can balance things and weigh it, right then, you can make decision pertaining to the relationship you are being involved now.