Letter grammar . letter to a sponsor .

@Manasha (2300)
Pondicherry, India
September 17, 2012 7:57am CST
The following is a letter written by a mother about her daughter's secret marriage to her sponsor. Please let me the mistakes that I have done in the letter. I am very sorry because I feel guilty on my daughter’s action. Earlier, before this bad incident I had a doubt on my daughter’ s activity seeing her unusual behavior. She was not proper in her studies, lost concentration and was seen lonely . So, I started watching my daughter carefully and, however, she ran with that boy surprisingly. She has eloped in March month. Earlier, she was in love with a guy and got conceived. So, she decided to marry the guy immediately without knowledge. So she ran away with that boy secretly. I came to know only after ten days of her idiotic action.. I have found her after ten days and arranged their marriage at a temple. . Our daughter is living in a separate house with that boy . The boy is working at a textile shop. She is also carrying 9 months’ child. Once she delivers I will inform you. I feel very sad for her because she has not finished her studies yet. He worked as an apprentice in a company for a period of three months.. However, the company rejected the boy candidature for the employment stating his minor age problem. He is now working as a computer service mechanic at a shop.
1 response
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
21 Sep 12
Hi, your letter is rather muddled so it isn't as simple as telling you "these are the mistakes." My advice to you would be to start over completely from the beginning. It seems to me the letter only needs to express the mother's regret to the recipient without too many details or labeling anyone an idiot. I can't really help you with the letter without more information. Is the letter being sent to the mother's sponsor, or the daughter's?
@Manasha (2300)
• Pondicherry, India
27 Sep 12
I am not clear with your paragraph written. Please let me know the if and buts of my statements written here
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
27 Sep 12
What do you mean by ifs and buts?