How obsessed are you in raising your children?

By Toni
@toniganzon (39802)
Philippines
September 27, 2012 12:05am CST
When I was still pregnant, I have read a lot about pregnancy and giving birth. I've read a lot about raising a baby and how to make my baby smart and healthy. I never stopped reading and reading so that i'll turn out to be a good parent. But i don't think i over acted in taking care of my son. My brother-in-law and his wife on the other hand, i think, are obsessed about raising their son. The son was born to have dark skin compared to mine. So they bought all stuff that could make their baby's skin white! They would cover him in cloth whenever they step out of the house, getting scared that the baby might get burned. During the first few days of the baby, they didn't bring him out to get sun's rays even though the pediatrician advised them to. They would open the umbrella even if it's just a two meter walk from the house to the car! Do you think it's too much? Or you think they're doing the right thing? I personally think it's unhealthy for the baby.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@jazzyme (113)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
I think they are over reacting. Babies need the morning sunlight to get vitamins needed by their skin.We all know that. And old people says that those who are over protected are usually prone to viruses. We parents want the best for our babies. if only we could get their sickness when they are sick..We also protect them from insect bites.we protect their skin from mosquito bites, that's normal,but applying skin whitening stuffs?If your baby's skin is natural brown or black accept that.Always remember that there's no perfect parents, we can't raise a perfect child. don't overreact in your child's outside. Nurture him to love, care,respect and teach him a good way of life.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (39802)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
That's what i was thinking. I have never done such to my son. Overprotectiveness can sometimes lead the kids to weakness because their immune system from bacteria will decrease.
@ShyBear88 (16871)
• United States
27 Sep 12
To me that is to much. Every body needs a bit of sun it's good for them it's called vitamin D. There is such a thing as being over protecting and some times knowing too much is a bad thing as well. I'm not obseesed about raising my babies. I read in my first pregnancy one book and that was it. The rest I play by ears what better way to learn who to be a parent by doing things your way instead of fallowing a books because they won't ever know what one person child needs to the next. They are great for references but that is it. Yes that is bit over board. It's not unhealthy for a baby not get sun or go out but it's more stressful on the parents because then they are always worrying about things. Unless the doctor tells them they have to no matter what then they have to do it if it's a suggestion then they don't have to fallow. With both of my babies they were born prematurly so they need to get some son so if I couldn't them outside I would places them in front of a window to get natural light and some what the window will protect them both from the certain rays from the sun.
@toniganzon (39802)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
My baby was born a healthy one, but his doctor still advised us to give him early morning sunshine for vitamins. Their baby on the other hand was yellowish when born and was even under antibiotic. So it was highly advised for them to give him early morning sun to eliminate jaundice, but my brother-in-law said it was the cause of his baby's skin darkening which somehow made me laugh!
@ShyBear88 (16871)
• United States
30 Sep 12
There isn't a certain time of day to give baby's sun light its any time of the day as long as the sun is out that is what it's for. But if they are scared of the sun they can always get uv lights that they make for babies it's a blanket. I have no idea where people get them and it depends on the degree of jaundice. Both of my babies had very little to none they where on the upper scale and all babies have jaundice that is why all doctors suggest giving them so sun. The sun can make the skin darker only if the baby is out in too long then in which they will get a sunburn before they tan. Both my babies are born healthy too just early. But I take my kids out all of the time. But a little bit of sun isn't going to make the skin darker. They can even just place the baby inside the house in front of the window. I did that with my daughter because it was winter when she was born so going out in the snow with a newborn wasn't fun. But with my son its still pretty warm out. He was born at the end of summer being of fall so going out is fine right now.
• Philippines
1 Oct 12
I dont care if my baby is dark or white skin what matter to me is if shes healthy and happy and what matter for me is to give her all that she need and let grow as good person with love, I might be very strict when it comes to her skin like always checking if there rashes around or cuts as i also hate to see some scar and i already put a cream to avoid her from having scar as i want her to have a good and smooth skin. But i dont let her stop in playing and moving around as i know it makes her feel happy and i love to see her live that as i know shes feeling fine than just to see her staying in one place, i also dont just put creams on her skin andi always ask doctor first if its safe. When it comes to covering her will it depends if its too cold for her or hot so of course her clothes will still depends on the weather condition and not because of her dark or white skin.
@toniganzon (39802)
• Philippines
17 Oct 12
We only want the best for our kids but too much protection could sometimes weaken their immune system. What you're doing is just right and not really too much. Like you, i fi had a daughter i would protect her skin as well as i wouldn't want her to have some scar or anything that would damage her skin.
@mermaidivy (15417)
• United States
27 Sep 12
I think I was very obsessed when my first child was born, I wanted to do the best for my child on everything but since he grows bigger now which is two year old, I have learnt to relax a little more, that way, he is happier and I won't get myself all stressed out over some little things, for example, not having enough nap time. I think in your brother in law's case, it sounds too much too me, a little bit of sun is good for us. Just make sure the child is not directly facing to the sun and don't stay out for too long is good.
@toniganzon (39802)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
The doctor recommended early morning sun for a couple of minutes because the baby was born jaundice. And now they are blaming the sun for their baby's dark skin which i think is wrong because the baby is naturally dark.
@natliegleb (5188)
• India
27 Sep 12
i am quite obsessed and very good to know and i always care a lot for my baby ideally,its like absolute delight
@toniganzon (39802)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
What about those people i was talking about?
@GemmaR (8527)
27 Sep 12
I think that you do have to be very careful with the health of your child, and obviously a new born baby is new to the world and has to be taken care of, however you have to draw the line somewhere because you can't keep your child indoors for the whole of its life. I can see why people would be like this about their first child because they want to do everything right, but a lot of people relax once they have their second child because they realise that although people might do things wrong from time to time that doesn't make them bad parents and it doesn't mean that their children aren't going to grow up to be happy and healthy.
@toniganzon (39802)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
My son is my first and only child but i never once went overboard like what they did. It's just too much.
@grkelly (1218)
• Malta
27 Sep 12
I think that this is an obsession. You cannot put your kids in a safe haven forever. They have to face life and all of its problems, ups and downs. You need to be realistic or else you can actually end up ruining their lives rather than helping them. Some liberty and independence is important at all ages.
@toniganzon (39802)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
I must agree. I have only one child and he means the world to me, but i cannot protect him forever. So i've taught him how to protect his own self instead of doing the protection myself.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
27 Sep 12
I think i am still on the normal side, when i was pregnant, i just made it a point that i eat well - more veggie and fruits, then i listened to those classical music as they said it would help in the baby's brain development particularly in the cognitive. When they were born, i made it a point that they stay healthy and happy..no extra ordinary stuff and i know till now they are happy and healthy normal kids..as for their skin, i never really fret on that. I accepted what they are, my daughter is on the morena side while my boys are fair looking. You brother-in-law are nuts for doing that. Didn't they learn that the color of the skin does not matter? people who fuss on skin color actually makes me annoyed lol.. i mean they let all the media hype that white skin is beautiful. They need to learn that all type of skin is beautiful.
@toniganzon (39802)
• Philippines
29 Sep 12
Count me in, for being annoyed by those people. They just get into my nerve!
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
27 Sep 12
Hmmm. I read a lot but I also had plenty of experience to draw on. I have 4 siblings and was always around kids - I started babysitting when I was about 11. However, just because I read a lot doesn't mean I don't trust my own instincts. Bottom line, when it's your baby, YOU'RE the bottom line. I have always explained to people that that is how it is. I appreciate input and information but I make the final decisions and I expect other people to be on board or at least accept that is how it is. I think that's how it should be for each person with their own children. While some people think other people are nuts, each person has their reasons lol. Sunblock is a great idea and a great invention but I don't go overboard - really about anything. Some people totally shield their kids physically and emotionally from EVERYTHING, including sun, germs, and situations which might challenge them and help them grow. I'm not into that - if you go too far one way, when your kid grows up, they encounter culture shock, sunburn, and allergies lol. There are people who NEVER let their kids spend the night anywhere - I think that's a little eyebrow raising, unfair, and clingy. Of course you should be able to explicitly TRUST whomever you're allowing your child to stay with but odds are each of us should have at least one or two people we trust to that degree. If not... then I worry about you.