How to approach my ex that he had a friend move in where my children will be?
By ravinskye
@ravinskye (8237)
United States
October 22, 2012 9:27pm CST
Ok, so here is the situation. I am going through a divorce. I have 3 kids. My girls are 10 and 7 and my son is 5. I just found out that in addition to my ex's 23 year old brother, he has also moved in another male friend of his. Should I be pitching a fit? I don't really know this guy, I've met him twice. He seemed okay but then again don't most people? My thing is, do I want to bring it up because I think something could happen to the kids, or is it more as punishment for all the threats and insults that have come from my ex the last few months? What should I do? I've thought about telling him that he can't keep the kids there overnight until this guy is gone. But then how do I know for sure the guy is gone? Then I worry about the blow back from threatening to not let him have the kids. I am dating someone else and in the future if he wants to move in I don't want it to be an issue as payback. What would you do?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
23 Oct 12
I can totally understand where you are coming from, I probably wouldn't be comfortable with it either.
On one hand I want to tell you to trust that he's a good enough dad that he wouldn't allow someone around the kids who might hurt them.
On the other hand, you really can never be too careful these days.
I think it's perfectly acceptable for you to want to know more about this guy.. and in the future if your ex wants to know about somebody you're letting stay with you, you should allow him to do so.. and don't think of it as payback.
@marguicha (215952)
• Chile
23 Oct 12
Can`t you talk this matter with a social worker in your area? They know about this problems and will know what you can do and can give you advise. I would be worried if I were you too and I would not want my children to sleep over at a house where there are unknown grownups.
@GardenGerty (157678)
• United States
23 Oct 12
Go through your lawyer, and request that anyone that is living with your ex and will be around the children should have to submit to a background check. No threats, just require that it be done. It is really common for jobs and child care and everything else to have to do this.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Oct 12
What she said.
Really, I don't think you can threaten anything without knowing that there is something bad about the guy, but I think asking for a background check is perfectly reasonable.
