Sometimes, I really want to have an affair..

thanks for saying like this, my friend. i know that i will ruin my marriage life if i finally gave affair. and of course i dont want it happen to my family. i love my husband and love my daughter more. i know i will lose them if i have an affair. i can think about this clearly. but i dont know why this tempting intention is like 'inviting' me to do so. thank God i dont have another guys and I hope God never give me opportunity to have affair. once again, i say thanks for all of your advice and i will remember your advice whenever my bad thought comes in my mind. lol.

I agree with reddaylight. Having an affair will only cause more problems and then you will regret your decision but it will be too late. Sorry to hear that you are having these feelings. We all at some time or another have some type of bad thought but the key is not to let ourselves dwell on those thoughts or it will lead to us acting on it. Look for ways to strengthen your marriage and to find more happiness and full fillment with your husband. Have you talked to your husband about your feelings? Maybe the two of you need to take a little romantic vacation. Even if it's only for a weekend. An affair will only bring heartache and pain. And it definitely does destroy a family. Strengthen your marriage look to your husband for what you need.

i'm speechless cos you're so true..i write this disscusssion under my consciousness to get these kinds of wise words. and i dont regret at all starting this discussion cos i know that life could be meaningful. may God bless you because of your wise words my friend..:)

yeah you're absolutely right about having an affair. i know from the beginning that i will get many advices from here when i wanted to write about this. and i am true! nobody here lets me having an affair even those who ever an affair ih their life. she told me that it's better for me not to have an affair due to her bad experience. your words make me sure more and more that i think something really bad for my marriage. actually i and my husband have a plaan to have a baby cos my daughter will be six years on May so she's old enough to have a sister or brother. but it was too pity i had a miscarriage in September. i did hope that having baby again will kill my bad intention about having affair cos i will be busy with my children. yeah, i'll try my best in my marriage. maybe second honeymoon will help me to love my husband more..:)

that it a great idea, my friend! getting married gives a very big change to me. i used to be an independent and brave girl before i got married. but after getting married, i am limited by my husband. i went everywhere by my own and always challenge myself to get adventure. then i met my husband whos was an introvert person. but his character whichh is calm and very patient in facing my wild side counqered me. i loved my husband so i didnt mind at all when our parents asked us to get married soon. though i knew that i wont be an independent woman again after married but i was willing do that cos i loved my husband. but i never imagined before that he truly put me in a jail! i cant go anywhere. he lets me to have a job, he lets me to visit my father but he never lets me go out of the town by my own. i know he does this because he really loves me and if i go alone he worries a lot. i can take his 'rule' as a prove that i'm a good wife. but i feel so stuck someday. i ever offered him to have second honeymoon but he is so lazy of doing this and that. he likes to stay at home along the time. he's sooooo family man..:(

I guess, some married women goes through this phase of thinking the "what ifs". Coz we are aware that some married guys do it, why not the married wives, right? And why not married wives? Because a woman should be given due respect. I do not think any person could give respect to a person whom you know have fallen into that "pit". I feel you are an outgoing person and you need adventure. Just make or do something with your husband that is unconventional to both of you. Make use of that crazy mind of your work but with your husband!

yeah sista.... you`re lucky because we are here for helping our friend.. and your secret is still your secret.. my mother ever said that it`s not easy for being married.. we should understand our couple wish, not only push our wish to them.. sometimes we conflict with our beloeved couple.. like he accept your weakness, and you should do like that too..accept his weakness.. Don`t make your husband angry (term in Hold Quran)..be a good wife for husband and of course a good mother for son or daughter.. and i belive they are proud of you sista

your mother is absolutely right, adhyz. getting married us about gatheribg two people, two hearts, two interests and many differences. it's not easy at all cos it could be very painful sometimes. but we're usually able to overcome those problems cos we still want to be together till deaths do us apart. that is why often said that someone wont be really alive until they get married. and that quote is really true. you will feel like in heaven if you're happy with your marriage but your life will be like in a hell if you feel unhappy with your marriage. my mom ever said that hell and heaven is nowhere but in our marriage life. our great prophet said that getting married makes our life complete..

and i'm sure that every person have that hidden wish..lol..i mean we know that nobody is perfect, some spouses understand aboilut this very well and they can accept their spouse's weakness patiently, but most cant accept their spouse's weaknesses well then they want to get divorce or have affair like me. i ever watched news oon TV that there are more than a thousand divorce cases in one state court in Jakarta every year. you know that there are about four state courts in Jakarta. if one court has more than a thousand cases, you can count how many divorce cases happen in Jakarta every year! it's a very big number. i know that the problem in marriage life is so sophisticated. i hope i can accept my husband weakness as well as i accept his strengths. i know i can destroy not only my family but also myself if i have affair someday. and i will keep my wish as a little secret of me..^___^

yeah you're right dear friend. what you said is same with all people here about my wish. and you know what, i almost forget about my wish having affair with another guy after i started this discussion. lol. thanks to all people here who gave me enlightment and push me not to have this bad intention..:)

estremms: she says that the husband rejects her attempts to have hug him and have physical closeness. I think that his neglect is lending greatly to her desire to have an affair. I think it is sad that couples allow these little intimate interactions to cease to exist. I cannot imagine what it would be like if my husband ever began to resist my attempts to show affection for him. She says her husband is like a refrigerator to her.....

zeedo: With all that has been said as to what is lacking in the relationship, I doubt that having an affair will lead to any new enlightenment about the marriage. If she cheats once, she will remember all the things that she is missing with her husband and then she will more than likely continue the affair because it fills the void left by her husbands lack of affection.

yeah, you're right. i get jealous easily and get angry esaily too if my husband is seemingly get close with a woma. so what we call about my bad attitude, selfish ha? i'm really sad also when i think about this kind matter. i talk to myself that i'm really crazy, a kind of petson who doesnt grant with all blessings i have today and many more. but sometimes this intention just comes on my mind at glance and steals my consciousness. i know i love my family so thinking about this wakes me up and directly emerges a question to myself: am I alright? is my marriage going well? am I unfaithful and so on. i'm afraid of having this thought. fortunately i live in a good surrounding where having affair is not our habit so i cant find a guy who is potential as my partner, not only in my office but also in my home surrounding. above all, thanks for your opinion. what you're saying is very inspired..:)

maybe i and my husband are bad coupel cos we dont know how to communicate each other. yes it's true. we had a date for one and a half years before we got married but marriage life is something else. it is more complicated and sophisticated so sometimes i stuck on something i dont know how to overcome those problems. i have two jobs and requires me to go home at 7 pm. while my husband goes home at 5 pm..when we both are at home we are in an exhausted condition. no conversation almost at all. we do our habit everyday. and then i find ourslf being far away each other. maybe because of lack of communication imagine another guy to love with and to share evrything with. i know i am totally wrong cos i should fix my problem with my husband, not start a new problem. people here are so inspired with their words. you too..:)

yeah..you're right..my husband desrves the best of me. for your information only, i dont have an affair today. i also dont have a guy who has close relation with me. i have some male office mates but there's nothing happened among us. we're purely friends each other. so i dont know about myself why i have a crazy intention to have affair with other guys.

yeah, maybe it's about curiosity. sometimes i really want to know how does it feel loving other guy beside my husband. but that curiosity does not offend me too much cos i have loved some guys before i got married with my husband today. maybe you dont believe me that i want to have an affair with no reason. i mean, sometimes we do something with no reason right? you may be angry to me cos i want to do something serious but i do it with no reason..! yeah, i think i'm weird, crazy, abnormal or else. i admit that sometimes my emotion is so changable. when i am at a very low level of my consciousness, i then think something crazy such as having affair or even getting divorce. yeah, i think i need to see a theraphyst..lol..