Will you give up friendship because they think he/she is bad influence?

Philippines
November 11, 2012 6:35am CST
When I was in college I don't have many close friends though I can hang out with any of my classmates. I only have 3 friends that is so close to me, we spend time together most of the time in School and after School we even copied each others assignment.But there is one I can call my very trusted friend I tell her everything she told me everything too. She got a daughter and she lives with the parents of her boyfriend. They are not married yet and until now. I sleep in their house her parents in law knew me and treat me like their daughter too.Her boyfriend knew me too and talked to me though we didn't meet in person because he is abroad. Everything is fine, I am part of their family since I am miles away from my family. They helped me in everything when i needed it and I help them too when they needed my help. Until my friend made mistakes he got boyfriend at school which she told me her legal boyfriend knows about it.I warned her not to do it but since her legal bf knows about it I didn't said anything but I always remind her not to do anything that will ruin their family since her legal bf is away. But something happened he slept with her school boyfriend, she confessed to me a week later that she slept with the guy so I told her to stop it and don't tell her legal bf (which I don't know if it's the right thing to do or not). Everything back to normal after a few weeks she broke up with the guy and situation is fine. Only 2 of us knew about what happened we didn't tell to our 2 friends though they are doubting us that we are hiding some secrets from them. To her guiltiness and conscience she confessed it to her legal boyfriend and of course her legal boyfriend told it to her parents so they blame me that what happened to her is because I am a bad influenced, she don't even explain to them that it's not my fault it's hers. So now she stop communicating at me because her parents in law asked her not to and as well as her legal bf. Is it my fault? I don't even go out with her and the guy ;( When they ask me to join them I refused.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
Hi hlfbldmom, I know how you feel, But dont blame your self for such attitude of your friend. I would probably give our friendship a space, If boyfriend and girlfriend need space, bestfriends needs the same. But dont hate her because she has not defended you, Dont mind it at all and go on with your life. Someday when you too met again it will be all good. Her parents will realize that there daughter was the one to be blamed of what happened. The truth will come out. You told her not to do such things but she doesnt listen to you. You shouldn't worry of her being mad of you if you dont talk to her anymore.She should whats right or wrong,You are on the right age of knowing whats best for yourselves. Goodluck.. Happy mylotting.
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
Thank you iMamom! I just hope that things will get better for her and his boyfriend. I don't hate her, hate is a strong word. I am just a little bit mad but I am fine now. I know I didn't do anything wrong so I don't have to blame myself. I am just being a good friend to her.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
True, Wishing you all the best. Things will work out well. :)
@Mintlin (323)
• China
12 Nov 12
my answer to this question is yes,i will. when i was in senior high school.i had a friend ,we were classmate.she's that kind of bad girl,did not like to study,always hanged out with boys ,drinking,smoking,spending money.. her family's rich. I consindered myself as a good girl,study hard,no drinking,smoking etc. but i was a little rebellious at that time. she kept asking me out and i said yes . we did have a good time,hanged out with boys,shopping,spending money,it's lasted for a while and then i didn't want to study anymore,my parents/teacher knew this and asked me to stop connected with her,and i did gave up.yes,when she is bad influence we should give up she no matter what,for ourselves.
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
Hi Mintlin, Thank you for sharing your story!. And glad that you decided to give her up and friendship with her and you go back to old you that is good girl and that you continue your studies. Keep it up!..Take care!
@mydanods (6759)
• Nigeria
12 Nov 12
if you think she is bad influence to you, then you should stop talking to her. some parents want to protect their children and look for who to blame when things go wrong. be sure yourself that you did not influence her and nothing will go wrong with you.
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
Thank you mydanods!. Ohh yeah most parents cant admit that their children makes mistakes and they blame it to others. I did not influenced her by doing such things so I am not guilty... Have a great day!
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
Oh! That's just sad. And here I was thinking that your mom wanted you to stop talking to this girl because she's the "bad influence" of your life, but instead, you were treated as the bad person in the picture. Well, I think it's her (or their) decision not to talk to you. I don't think you could do anything about it right now, but soon when things get calm and you will meet the parents somewhere or something happened, perhaps you could share your side of the story. But as for me, I would stop talking to someone who is bad influence. If I am friends with them and then they did something bad and I told them to stop but they still keep on doing so, then I would probably cut relations with them. I don't need complications in my life. Have a great mylot experience aheaD!
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
Hi Laydee, Thank for your words. I did not talk to her since then I even deleted her on my list. I guess I don't have to explain to her parents in law or in her boyfriend because I didn't ask her nor convince her to do such things. I stop talking to her coz I am bit mad at her too because of what she did and she don't even try to explain to her parents in law that I don't have a fault on what she did.
@Mavic123456 (9876)
• Thailand
11 Nov 12
Who was the bad influence, you or your friend? I didn't find you as bad influence because you did not convince her to have a new bf and more specifically to sleep with this new guy. yes that's right if you don't feel like going out with them.. then.. be it.. until you are ready
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
Hi Mavic123456 Her parents in law and her boyfriend thinks that I am bad influenced to her that's why she did such things.Thank you!
@gilenie (190)
27 Nov 12
Dont mind ther thinking that you are a bad influenced to your friend as long as you know you didnt do anything bad to her why be bother?.. But ofcorse its still your decision if you want to leave her or not.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
27 Nov 12
You have nothing to do on what your friend has done. It was her choice to have another relationship. She should have told her in law's that you were not responsible for all that has happened. But I guess, when something like this do happen, the initial reaction would be to stay away from a friend whom they think is a bad influence. But, I am not telling that you are a bad influence, coz you were a good friend to her.
@challs12 (549)
• Malaysia
12 Nov 12
Seriously this is not your fault. It's her who make the decision to betray her love. Nothing to do with you. I think now you have conflict and pressure because you staying with them. Then I suggest you move out from the house and continue your daily life without all these nonsense crap. She must have said something lie about you to her 1st boyfriend and she is obviously not your good friend. So, no point to stay close to her. Let them come and talk to you and I suggest you not to go to them to make friend because these people has a bad attitude ie selfish and like to blame others when they make a mistake.