my most depressing day
By raynejasper
@raynejasper (2322)
Philippines
November 11, 2012 9:57pm CST
Our family life is in a whirlwind. Tight now, my hubby is having a live-in partner and he just come home once in a while to visit. I had been trying to talk to him about our family status and he always decline to speak. One time, he came home and played for a while with my daughter. However, he didn't say goodbye to her when he went out. That was already past 8 in the evening. My daughter came to me saying that she wants her dad. I told her that his dad will come to visit again(she's only four and she doesn't know anything about what's going on with me and her dad). She said maybe her dad will not come home soon because he always visit after 2 or 3 weeks then she went to our room. I was thinking that she will play in the room but when i went to check on her, she was actually crying silently. Oh my gosh! I feel so bad seeing her cry. She really misses her dad. The thing is, I can't even contact her dad because his mobile phone is always unattended. Maybe he changed his number and he never informed me. That night, I cried a lot and I ask God, "Lord, should I look for a partner too who can become the father of my child?". However, I am afraid that my experience in marriage has traumatized me already and I have this difficulty in trusting guys. Sometimes, I feel like all guys are like him though I know in my heart that its not. Any thought?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Sindelle (824)
• United States
12 Nov 12
Its unfortunate that he's making your daughter cry. Especially now that you know how much this is upsetting her I'd talk to your ex. Maybe he can be a better father to her. As for looking for someone else to replace him I wouldn't rush things. I've never been married but I've been in several serious relationships and have been engaged. I also have issues trusting men. I try to think of it this way though. Do you have a brother, father, or some male relative that loves you? (most likely) He's not a bad guy. Not all men are bad. Just do what I do take things slow and have faith good things will come your way. Please don't cry. I know it must be heartbreaking to see your daughter cry but unfortunately right now there is nothing you can do but be the best mother you can be.
2 people like this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
13 Nov 12
..you're right. thanks for the thought. I still cry until now remembering that time. I'm praying and hoping that God will fix this mess for me and my baby. It's so hard to deal with this situation since the matter doesn't lie on me alone. I just wish I could do something about it.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
12 Nov 12
Im sorry you have to go through something like that. Not fair at all. But you need to sit down with him and talk it out.. one way or another. For the sake of your child.
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
13 Nov 12
I did try talking to him in every way but he doesn't have a word. He keeps on promising things he could not do. Right now, I just leave him in his own. I am trying to be happy with my daughter. I think its easier to do that than waste my time trying to talk to him and listening to his lies all over again. He said he loves us, but who can believe such thing when he doesn't show?
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
12 Nov 12
I have had not one but two abusive relationships and it really knocked the stuffing out of me, before I was happy, confident, loved life and lived life to the full, then when I settled down with my partner I didn't realize that they were extremely controlling, manipulative and had mood swings, I managed to get out the relationship only to fall into another equally abusive relationship. It has put me off rleationships for life and I feel I can never trust anyone again. I have actually resigned myself to a life alone. Singledom isn't so bad and I relish my freedom. Life has a way of throwing us challenges how we get through them and come out the other side can make us stronger.
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
13 Nov 12
It must have been very difficult for you as i understand how it feels to be emotionally abused. Maybe I'd also chose to stay single and look for other ways how I can be able to fill in the needs of my daughter. She's so young and innocent. She deserves to be happy no matter what.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
12 Nov 12
I am sorry to hear this I just wish that the pain will go away as fast as it can to you and specially to your daughter. Having another lover doesn't solve the problem. Having another one will just answer your needs but i am not sure if it will answer your daughter's need. Lord has put you to it He will help you to go through it. Your daughter needs you more now. Just focus on your daughter she needs you more than anyone else now. Compensate what is missing in her life by being present. Cheer up girl, life should go on. Life goes on.
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
13 Nov 12
Thank you so much. Its really nice to share problems with someone who can understand the situation. I do appreciate your thoughts. It will help me become stronger and focus more on what is really important.
