Mother turning 80!
By dee777
@dee777 (1417)
South Africa
December 5, 2012 3:44am CST
I always arranged my mom's birthday parties, and had no problem doing it. My sis & bro would contribute towards the party, but I would give my house (the smallest of the family's). My mom will (God willing) turn 80 Jan 2013 and after visiting my sis last month, mom decided to have her party at sis' house this time (huge house). I am fine with it. My worry is that my sis has not decided on the menu, or called me & bro in to discuss the party... Mom is worried and come to me often to ask if sis started planning the party yet... I am not the host this time, and feel I have no right to interfere. I have spoken to sis twice, and she said there's still enough time...She will let me & bro know... Should I just leave it in her hands....??
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11 responses
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I feel great that your mom has a long life span to think that she will be turning 80 soon. I guess that you should give your sister a chance but you need also to help her assist and give her some tips on how to handle such things. I know that having it first time would be difficult if you are all alone so you must be there just to guide her on everything.
@j6face (67)
• Malaysia
6 Dec 12
you have 2 choice. you may kindly give her reminder from time to time.
however, this might irritate your sister eventually.
another option is to talk to your sister about your past experience of making this arrangement as a host. and perhaps during the conversation, you can hint of what is the recommended time frame before the event. how long it takes to prepare and what are the clutches. this indirectly will tell her that she is running out of the time.
right now, i guess she is assuming that the event can be done in a short period of time. but by giving a warm reminder that it is suppose to take longer than what she think, then she will be more appreciative with your advice.
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@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
18 Dec 12
Hi j6face, I have kept my heart soft all the time. My sis then contacted me 2 days ago to say that I must draw up a menu and make sure every child of mom contribute fairly..... Then she told me that she will not be available for mom's birthday during the week (birthday is on a Tues), and that she can only do it over the week-end...(we will have supper at her house) I told her it's fine, and she just need to tell mom that. Now mom will have her party 5 days after her birthday... Perhaps I am sentimental... I think that I will take mom out for a breakfast on the day of her birthday and prepare a supper for her with my family.....
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
12 Dec 12
Hello dee. You may talk to your sister about how you made it in your house in the past for her reference. You may help her if she needs it. Anyway, I wish your mother to be a very Happy Birthday in advance. Have a good day, dee.
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@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
1 Jan 13
Thanx williamjisir. I told my sister what I will contribute and she is happy with it. I also told her that she should contact me if she needs me to help with anything. She said that all is in order, so I trust her. Now I cannot wait for mom's birthday! Be blessed this New Year!
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
hi,
actually i don't like that my mother will turn into 80s,70s,60s or even in 50s,i still wanted her to be young again,because i love so much my mother and i don't want her to be old,and when her birthday i am always organize it all,and do all i can for her birthday.
@farid_lmu (70)
• Bangladesh
6 Dec 12
first of all congrats your mom's for upcoming birthday and wishing a sound and longer life. Anyway i think this time you better give chance to your sister to arrange this and in that case you might provide her some suggestions from your experience. So, enjoy the upcoming party.
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 12
Maybe you need to offer to help your sister with your mother's 80th birthday party plans. There isn't much time between now and January plus Christmas is in the middle of it. My mother will turn 80 in March 2013. She won't want a party but I will give her a very special present. Good luck speaking with your sister and helping her. I hope your mother will have a really lovely 80th birthday party.
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@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
5 Dec 12
Thank you so much maximax8! That's all that's worrying me - sis is delaying this and my difficult job is to keep mom calm, telling her that everything is under control!!! I think I must phone sis again...It's not going to be a huge party, about 40 people. Wow, and you are also going to spoil your mom in March!!! We're so blessed to still have a mother around, hey!
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@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
13 Dec 12
Thanx cobalt20. I have let her know that I am here to do whatever I should do concerning the cooking etc... She has still not mentioned what we should do, but I trust that she will inform me and my bro by next week... (the agreement earlier this year was that we ALL contribute, for one person will not have all the funds to pull this off)
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@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Dec 12
hi dee Your sister has a biggerhouse and offered to do this so let her plan iu her way as we all do things a little differently. She must know what she is doing if
she said there was plenty of time. Let her take the bows and the problems and fun out of hosting your moms 80th birthday part. Just do not stress your mom
out as I know I get stressed and i am 86 now.Wish you mom a wonderful happy birthday from me. hugs from hatley;
@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
1 Jan 13
Hatley, you're 86!!! Wow, this is great. Will you share your recipe with me for a healthy long life? I have spoken to my sister and told her what I would contribute and she's happy with it. I also told her that she must just call me if she needs any help with anything. So I believe that she's ok. I trust that we will have a great time with mom!!
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
5 Dec 12
Hi,
As your sis said she's enough time and she might be a good manager of making at it even at the last hour/s. However during the X Mas vacations, when u speak / wish to her, you can causally check if she need your help for the arrangements. Since she acepted happily, give her the chance, she'll do it @ her best. Mom is worried as that could be becuase she's too excited as the host is not you and she's a new host this time.
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
Yes give your sister the chance to experience how it is to be the host anyway you have experienced it already. Let her feel the joy , headache , worries and some thrill. It doesn't not mean that you should not interfere , you are like sour graping now . I guess you can suggest to sister and for sure it will be honored always.
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@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
5 Dec 12
Thanx Angelpink. No, you will not know how glad I am not to be hosting it this time! I am seriously happy that sis offered. I just dont want her to feel that I interfere, and subscribe to her... I'm very concerned though that we're running out of time (3 wks left), and she is quiet...Perhaps I should phone her for a 3rd time?
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