A friend told you lies about herself
By bhelle76
@bhelle76 (353)
Canada
December 5, 2012 9:28am CST
What if you know somebody and became your friend then suddenly you will found out that she is a liar. I mean lied everything and anything from the start?
I met a girl same as my nationality almost three ago now. She was my classmate in English 1. Before the end of the summer session, we had a chance to talk in the library. She asked me, what nationality is my husband, the work, if I have a kids, where we live and I answered everything she asked honestly. Why should I hide? I even told her that my husband has no job and he is half disable. I did not asked any questions about her because for me it is rude to ask very personal.
Then she started telling me a story about herself and her husband. She said, she is a millionaire, her husband has a big computer business. She has a 6 years old daughter with two nannies. A very house big 3 story house. I said to myself, wow, she is really that rich... And so, I asked one question, stupid question I thought to myself but I let it out, how's your daughter look a like? she answered, she looks like her dad, very beautiful, has blue eyes but she is not with me now, she is in my country (we're immigrant) with her nanny for vacation. I said, Wow, you really trusted your nanny that much, how I wish I am her nanny.
Anyhow, I found out after a month that she was just lying everything, the husband has no job, she has no kids, well she has big house in her country not here in the where we are now but no business. she works as a stripper before and still working in the bar for a living. What I really mad about her, she lied everyday.
The worst was just before my graduation, one of my friend, just called her as JP told me that she (JN) said something about me. I just listened while JP continued, to my surprised JN told them that I am a liar and were just like a beggar asking for food to them everyday breakfast till supper. My friends JP and others told me to go away from this woman because they found out also that she lied even though I did not said anything about her. They all said, she had mental problem.
How about you, did you encountered woman/man like one that I encounter? How do you handle things like this?
1 person likes this
16 responses
@bhelle76 (353)
• Canada
5 Dec 12
Yes, she was definitely brought a trouble for me, imagine I got warned from my English teacher for a bad marked because I did her project. she was asking me for helped when we did our project in the computer lab. And when we did our journal, she always specified that it was me who dragged her to the Bingo hall to gamble., that she no time to do her homework because of me bringing her to bingo. If I confronted her why she wrote that way, she reversed the whole issue. She just laughed.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 12
I can't understand why someone would want to tell blatant lies about themselves? I can't see the point of it? I am sorry you got caught up in all her lies and games she was obviously playing. Why do people have to fabricate their lives, because sooner or later they will get found out, and it's them who are the fools not you. I hope you don't blame yourself for getting involved with her, you were genuine, she was not, you deserve better. Lies gain NOTHING, she has lost a friend in you, it's not you that's the liar it's her. Put it down to experience, learn from it and move on.
@bhelle76 (353)
• Canada
5 Dec 12
Thanks a lot, I got your point.
You think that my other friends are right for telling me to go away from her? We have another friend, well this other woman we named her as S, is her friend too and keep on begging me to talk back and be friend to her (JN). what do you think is right, should I listen to many of my friends or to just one?
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 12
What is your heart telling you and what is your brain telling you? Deep down I think you already know the answer but just want confirmation? Life is too short to be around people who think it's ok to lie. With true friends you don't need to lie, true friendship is built on honesty, not lies. I am sure you will make the right decision, but make it for yourself!
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
10 Dec 12
wow,,, looks like she had mental problems. Or maybe she was embarrassed by her living situation that's why she lied to you. I know you do not have a prejudice against her before you knew her lies. But you should not establish close relationship with her. It is evident from what you hear from your friends that she was telling lies about you. She does not deserve to be near you.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
5 Dec 12
wonder would she do that? what does she gain? She has to know you and others would find out the truth.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
7 Dec 12
Say goodbye to her - either in your own language or in English. She will get the message. I know the feeling, you live in a foreign country and you finally meet someone from your own country and they turn out to be an undesirable person. Please understand, there are liars, undesirable, mentally unbalanced people in all countries. If you were back in your country, would you be friends with her? Probably not. I know you want to connect with people from your own country but you can make friends with anyone. Seek good and stable people, no matter where they are from. How would I handle this? I would back away from this woman, kindly and gently, and look for stable and honest people that you can make friends.
@faradays (5)
• Kenya
5 Dec 12
that happens all the time especially if you are into internet dating and stuff. i have a friend(she's a girl) who like wanted to hook up with this dude cause he seemed to have lots of cash, like he had an expensive car, big house and all, only to be told later, after she had bore him a baby that the big house and stuff all belonged to his bro and it was all a setup...Ouch
@bhelle76 (353)
• Canada
5 Dec 12
The only thing was I met her personally, for me, is how can we be friends if she don't tell the truth? Besides that, she talked bad about me and my kids which I don't understand why she has to do that and tried to ruined my reputation in school. Well, she didn't win anyhow, because it was very obvious of lying.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I have almost same experienced like this.
I met this woman through common friend from a social site.
She is a nurse working abroad.
Two years ago she came home and me and other three friends come to met her at the airport.
She stayed at my house for two nights before she went home to her province.
All along she make us believe that she's a single lady.
Fine- no one ever suspect she's married with 3 kids already.
She's too good to hide her real identity- for whatever reason that we never knew.
Early this year, she was so brave to disclose everything to us- (wow- we're all shocked)
I just can't believed my eyes...imagine I let her in inside my house and stayed with me for two nights, believing her stories.
Then all of the sudden here she goes with this revelation...
I and our common friends still communicate with her through Facebook- but no one dares to ask her why she lied to us...we are waiting for her to confess freely because we don't want to hear another lies (that's why we are waiting..and never ask her a single question)
Hope someday she come to us- and tell us why she need to lie about her status, her family and kids...
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
6 Dec 12
I'm sure there are easy going people that just look at their friend's flaws and says: I accept her the way she is or that It's just a flaw but for me I can't. I have trust issues since some people who I was really supposed to trust stabbed me so for me it's the #1 most important thing in any kind of relationship for me.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
What a big, fat liar! She obviously have a lot of hang ups. And to cover it all up, she makes stories and tries to believe it herself that she is in that "perfect story" that she is telling. I guess she must be feeling terrible with the kind of life she has and her only way of making her feel better is by telling those stories. i say, you confront her. Tell her that you don't care whatever kind of life she has but she just made you furious with the lies she told about you to others.
@jadoixa (1166)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
wow that is really bad, how she lies a lot and invent stories about herself and other people. that is really problem. well, i have not encountered anything the same but if I come to trust someone who i met as a friend, first we really come to trust and believe anything they show and tell us..then if later i would realize and discover that they are lying about themselves and everything then i would really feel bad and disappointed towards that person..my trust and belief in that person would change immediately and it would be hard to trust them again, i would feel really hurt and just try to stay away from this kind of person. but also there are really people who are like that who would lie and invent stories about themselves just so they can look superior than who they truly are. to show to other people that they are better. why do we have to lie about ourselves, when in the end the truth will just come out, we will only be put in shame for all the lies we told about ourselves and our life. some people are really crazy in their ways and attitude.
@Lovegreen (376)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
hi bhelle:)
Fortunately I haven't encountered anyone like that and hope not to encounter one ever. She's maybe miserable and wished for the (lavish) things she'd mention to you, illusioning maybe.
@mhaiXCs10s (619)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
I think she is really having a mental problem. I am not sorry for you, I am proud of you for being honest about your husband and your situation. I am deeply sad about her personality problem. She needs to go to psychiatrist. I do encountered some people who has a lying personality problem. Once I will know her attitudes then I will surely avoid her.
@yugocean (9965)
• India
6 Dec 12
Big deal, somebody told you she is rich and said bad about you behind your back, this is really hurting when this comes from somebody whom you trust, you are not alone and so I have a similar experience but not exactly the same.
Once I met a student in an institution, he described himself a 'poor thing' a deaf and poor, his parents are poor and relatives are not helping him, no other fellow student was a good person and nobody is helpful. He asked help from me, which I agreed as it is a duty of human to help the needy. I made him as friend by trusting him the poor thing who needs help.
Soon I found his lies coming out-
- he was not deaf, I caught him using cell phone without hearing machine.
- his relatives were helping his parents, and he was staying with his relatives who were paying for his fees.
- he was eating on other students' money for free, even poor and disabled students were paying for him to let him eat with them.
- Above all I found he was making bad comments about me behind my back, when I was trying to get a job for him.
Boy I was mad, and informed his lies to others, and as soon as we found out, that freebie vanished from the institute.
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
5 Dec 12
Hi!
I feel sorry for you and also for her due to her bad destiny. I just cannot see people struggle for a living. There are many people who lie to us, and maybe sometimes we lie to them too. But know that everyone has a good reason to lie. I guess she thought maybe she will lose your friendship if she let you know her actual truth. And i think to make you feel comfortable she asked you personal questions. I know that must have hurt you a lot and maybe it might be difficult for you to believe in people later on. Consider this just another phase of your life friend. I know i talk too much and keep on talking without any point, but i hope you might understand what i really want to say..
@moodswings (17)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
Yes, unfortunately we have encountered not only a woman or a man like that. They were a family. They showed off to everyone that they were the perfect family in Saudi but the truth was here in our country, the man was a married man - married to another woman and had two kids. The woman he took with him to Saudi was his mistress and they falsified documents for them to be able to live there.
When they knew that we knew about this, they started talking behind our backs and destroying our reputation and image so that when we reveal the truth, they already made a move and no one would believe us but as they say "The truth will always come out!" And one by one, the truth is coming out even if we're not talking about it anymore.
Until now, they still try to ruin our reputation but with the documents that the legal wife is showing as proof that the family in Saudi are liars, we're getting our names cleared and their names ruined with every lie they said.
