Is it love, if your partner asked you to be slim?

@Shavkat (65270)
Philippines
December 13, 2012 7:55am CST
Some men are particular in body-type, being slim is one of their ideal dream. What if your boyfriend ask you to trim down, to have figure-of-8 body. Would you think, he is concern or not? If he insisted you to do it, do you think it is love?
8 people like this
54 responses
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Dec 12
If he really loved you he would love you just the way you are. Don't let anyone dictate how you should look or what you do. Your a grown woman and know how to take care of yourself. Good Luck!
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Thanks for your piece of advice.
• Japan
13 Dec 12
Exercising - Doing some exercise
I was never told but I would love to be told by my hubby only so I can exercise an keep sexy for him. I kinda don't like him tellin me sexy cus I get so lazy going to out gym room and exercise haha
• India
13 Dec 12
yea thats definitely why we guys tell our partners to remain in shape. It is healthy, a person grows from such challenges.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
If it is your own will to do it, then it is fine right? But not to be controlled.
• Japan
15 Dec 12
Hahaha I am not being forced to do it by I liked it when my hubby start telling me in getting fat cuz it's making so conscious and rushing my self to our gym room. I want to stay in shape for my hubby??
@celticeagle (119857)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Dec 12
If he married you or is with you and you were big then then it is just his vanity. If he is concerned for your health I think you would be able to tell. Men are attracted to certain body types, hair color, etc. If you don't meet that criteria you should know and move on.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
I agree, if he cannot love of what he sees. That's the reason not to hold back.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119857)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Dec 12
Love is supposed to be selfLESS not selfISH and selfserving.
@JDaw2006 (428)
• United States
14 Dec 12
I think it would be a insult I a man asked a women to do that. A man should love a women no matter what she looks like they had to have lived the way she looked when they got together. Now on the other hand. Lets say that the women went to the doctor and there was medical reasons and the doctor told the women that she needed to loss some weight or something like that. Then I can see a man being ok with doing something like that being concerned with the women's well being. Then that would be fine.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Depending on how it was delivered the message, it is very insulting if the concern is for personal gain. Thanks
1 person likes this
@JDaw2006 (428)
• United States
14 Dec 12
Yeah thats what i meant i think that it would only be ok if it was a medical reason that the guy wanted that. But it would hurt really bad deep down inside if the guy asked you to do that just because they wanted you to look like that just for there self.
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
13 Dec 12
Well, I would suggest it but not really force it unless I see that it is truly necessary. We would do things to impress our partners and sometimes it requires sacrifices, but I would really require my girlfriend to go through a lot just to be slim if she feels uncomfortable with the process. I know I love her when she was slim, and she did gain weight and had a slight change of figure, but I don't really notice that. I would be more concern if she was not feeling well and showing symptoms of it like coughing or having a raspy voice.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
I agree to that, you will remain loving someone without the checklist of Dos and Don'ts.
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
I meant "...but I wouldn't really require my...", sorry about that. Sounded like an evil boyfriend for a while there.
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
13 Dec 12
Maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe he really loves and be hurt to see when there's someone laughing at you. Or maybe he doesn't love you, just obsessed with women who are sexy. But if your ok with slimming down and it's ok for your health and you have all the chances to make it work, then why not, it can also boost your self esteem. But if you don't like the idea and you're just forced because this is how your boyfriend want you to look then stop it.
@Mavic123456 (14455)
• Thailand
13 Dec 12
I strongly agree! On the other hand Verna, if he doesn't love her, because she is obese will it be easier for him to break the relationship? than drag her to slim down. ahhh I know.. this is his way of saying how lousy boyfriend he is, so she better call it quits. If I am in her position, I would say.. "you don't have to do this for me to look at you as a lousy lover". Hmp! then turn my back at him.. making sure that my big bag.. bigger than my butt... will hit his face" . ha! I am sorry, if I hit you... maybe my bag needs to slim down too. LOL
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
I find it interesting answer, but if he is hurting from within due to that kind of body-built; people are making fun out of her. In addition for health concern, it is good intentions to trim down.
@gerald_lian (2193)
• Australia
13 Dec 12
The first thing to ask him would be whether is he concerned about his girlfriend's health or just for his own selfish reasons. If it is for the latter, then probably it is not real love then because the boy is not accepting the girlfriend for who she is. As for myself, being a guy, I doesn't mind what sort of body size my girlfriend has. But personally, I would prefer a girl who is not too thin/slim and not too overweight either. And being in the health line, if my girlfriend has a figure-of-8 body, I think it is my duty to advise her to slim down!
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
It is a good thing to clarify if the concern is about health.
@mydanods (6747)
• Nigeria
15 Dec 12
maybe he wants to show off his gf to his friends and would be disappointed if his gf is not slim. that is a sign that the relationship is a superficial one; just to massage his ego.
@rsa101 (15540)
• Quezon City, Philippines
14 Dec 12
Well I would just of it as concerned for your welfare if he thinks your looking a bit fat already. But of course you would think there is an ulterior motive behind it. I think it is a double edged sword when your partner asked you to do this, maybe he is a health buff and would like you to be leaner than where you are right now.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
If being fit in a big size, it is fine. I can be big but it runs in the gene. If he is really concern about my health, I will give in with no questions. Thanks.
@benchao (43)
• China
14 Dec 12
Maybe you can do it,that is beautiful for you!
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Thanks, it will really look god for being fit.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
I think that it becomes an obsession if a man would require his partner to slim down into something like a size 0. But I do think that if a partner reminds his partner to stay healthy, that would be a different thing.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Being fit is fine, but no trim down like s super model figure. Thanks
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
13 Dec 12
I would think it would depend on how big the girl is. If blood pressure comes up in the conversation, then I think he is concerned about her health. That sounds like love.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Thanks, if the partner has hypertension. She really needs to have a diet intervention.
@nykalex88 (244)
• Philippines
13 Dec 12
Well, it depends. Being slim equates you to a good health but forcing you to have a slim figure is not a good way. If you really love a person, you must accept whatever his/her appearance.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
The manner of forcing is not a good idea.
13 Dec 12
It's insulting ,if your boyfriend asking you to figure your body . If he really loves you then he accept who really you are . But if your husband asking that it's good and nice to hear because he just love you, he also concern for your health.. And it's for your own good..
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
For health concern, it is acceptable.
@clocks123 (1228)
• United States
13 Dec 12
this is just my opinion for myself. if a man dosen't like me the way i am, then he dosen't love me. Your physical appearance is just one aspect of being a woman. you have your brains, personality, and self worth along with this. i would not please him if he only is concerned about my body. what happens as you get older and weight comes, will he leave. this is your decision and just my opinion.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
If he tries to change the way you are, then he is creating another person out of you. It should not be like that. Thanks
• India
13 Dec 12
There is nothing wrong with just telling once or twice about it.But making an issue every now and then is clearly a no no. Talk to your partner.Ask why he/she asks you to change.Love is compromise. but you should also try a little bit from your side. You wouldn't want someone who is unhealthy and shabby for example!! Work it out.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
That's a good call, to compromise.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
13 Dec 12
I think that for health reasons is a good idea to be slim ,but it always depends on your body frame. It should be your decision and not the decision of your boyfriend. Your boyfriend should accept you and love you just the way you are.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Exactly, he will love you no matter what.
@marguicha (102148)
• Chile
13 Dec 12
If he said it in earnest, I`d give him a piece of my mind and then say bye bye. But if he said it in a festive way, I`d say I`m looking for a Terminator resembling specimen
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
I like that, it should be terminated. Thanks
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
13 Dec 12
Id say no.. of course most want to have their mates happy with them. So they do it.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Some people do it for the sake of love. It happens, taking control of their partner. But it sounds pitiful to let the partner follow your own rules, there is not compromise in the relationships.
@czhey21 (55)
• Philippines
13 Dec 12
So if attraction isn’t based on physical appearance, what is it about? It’s about essence. It’s about the person you see when all pretenses fade away. It’s about the light that emanates from his eyes or the radiance of her smile. It’s about seeing soul instead of personality, the sustaining beauty of true nature instead of the fleeting beauty of a pretty face. It’s about what draws you to your partner, what connects you, what makes you say “yes” to him or her and no to everyone else. It’s about that place that feels like home, when you can sit next to each other immersed in engaging conversation or content in comfortable silence.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
It is good thing to emerge oneself to love with deepest concerns between the two souls.
@NailTech (6890)
• United States
13 Dec 12
The word 'insist' is a real turnoff for me, it is a controlling and very self centered type of thing. I would not want to be in a relationship with someone insisting I do anything that seems to be for their own benefit in some way. It's as if they are just using you for something. The man should accept the person he is supposedly in love with for what they are. They feel in love with the person not the body weight.
@Shavkat (65270)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
If the partner really insists to change. It sounds very alarming to doubt about his love.