How to teach a stubborn child?

Philippines
December 18, 2012 2:41pm CST
Kids these day are different, most of them are spoiled if they want something they'll do everything to have it. Teaching them is not that easy specially when the people around are spoiling them much, like the grandparents. As a young parent I'm struggling to do my duty in teaching my own daughter and making her do as I've told and every time I scold she will say, "you don't love me, you're always scolding me." I'll just get so pesky whenever she throw some words like that or she always have reasons to whatever I said. Have you experienced this kind of situation? Share here what you did to resolve problems like this.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@Mavic123456 (14371)
• Thailand
19 Dec 12
Stubborn children often seek attention. They do things so that they will be "seen". Dealing with them is not easy really, hence, more understanding should be given to them. This were some tips I have encountered in one of the seminars I attended. 1. Acknowledge the child's good deeds. This will reinforce them to do good things more. They should be rewarded or praise greater than scold or punishment. I mean lavish them with praises and "good words" for the job well done. In this way, they will be encouraged to do more good things than bad things. Because they know that they are also recognized and "seen". (I hope you understand me,forgive my thoughts I couldn't really think of good words as of this moment my brain needs calibration LOL) 2. Security. they need to be assured that they are secured and never ignored in the household. If there is a new baby show equal attention to the child. Most often time, older children feel insecurity when a new child arrives and they feel jealous about it. 3. Talk. Talk to the child. Maybe she/he needs to vent out something. Maybe he/she just need to talk. Talk when everything is ok, calm and peaceful. And tell the child the implication or negative effects of her/his actions. Or might be the effects of the untoward actions. 4. Tender Loving Care... this is the touch therapy. There could be more secured feeling when there is TLC with TLT.. Tender loving touch, when the child is doing something.. a hug or a touch from the back or head will create the feeling of "I am loved". A touch and a hug would mean so much for the stubborn children. (melting their strong hearts. if there is such phrase). Touching them tenderly will conveys the message that "I am welcome and cared and loved so I will listen to this person" Sorry I hope I make sense, I really want to express more as tactfully as I can but my brain doesn't come out with good words..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
Lol! I'm so glad that you respond to my post because it cleared my mind. The second one must be the reason, I don't spend a lot of my time with her because of her baby brother. I praised her every time she do good things and even rewarded her for her good deeds. This make sense for me. Thank You!
1 person likes this
@Mavic123456 (14371)
• Thailand
19 Dec 12
that's great, I am glad that I made sense, even if it was so early in the morning and my brain still need some oil
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
Communication is always the key for a better relationship. As parents, we should be able to be always available for our kids to explain things around them. Kids these days are inquisitive. We should be able to tell them the how's and why's whenever they as us something. Providing them enough attention and showering them with love and care would make our child become good kids.
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
I will surely do that. Thanks.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
20 Dec 12
No worries! I hope you will have the patience in teaching your child as well. Mothers have the responsibility to be the teachers of their kids and mothers need a lot of patience and perseverance in attaining their goal with regards to instilling discipline.
19 Dec 12
Yes,Today's kids are naughty,Only the patience to teach them,that's is the best way :)
• Philippines
20 Dec 12
I really need a bunch of that.
@neelia27 (896)
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
well i haven't experienced it because my child in only one year old but sometimes he is so stubborn and naughty but i understand it cos he is still young at his age he doesn't yet know what is right and wrong.. in the near future i know he will get more stubborn.. maybe i just have to put a lot of patience.. maybe ill just talk to him repeatedly until he understand what i am talking about..
• Philippines
20 Dec 12
That's the right thing to do, I hope you'll get what you aimed for him.
• United States
19 Dec 12
Homeymama, I really feel your pain. My kid is 8 and Very stubborn. Anytime I try to correct her, my dad wants To step in and so he spoils her a lot. It's hard cuz it causes Arguments between my dad and I . I hope your situation get better Before she gets bigger because them it's harder. Pls express To the grandparents that you are the boss and they need to Support your parenting decisions. I've told this to me parents But it's so hard for them, especially my dad. They had her from 17days old 5 years old ( although I had her from3-4 years ) because I was Out of state in college. Good luck!!
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
My parents are like that too but now it's only Mama because Papa past away 3 years ago. I needed to work since she was 5 months because I'm a single mom at that time and when she learned to talk she can't call me Mama she just called me by my name then when she reached 3 years of age my Mama decided to work that's the time I started taking care of her. I don't want her to grow stubborn like me it will just lead her to making wrong things as she gets older. I'm trying to fix this thing. I hope it will have a good out come. Good luck to you too!
@liezel25 (292)
• Germany
18 Dec 12
My kids are not that old coz they are just 1yr & 4months old. Since, your daughter is still young, you have to raise her ang guide her in a good way. You can talk to her with eye to eye contact so she will listen attentively and tell her the things about you wanted her to do. Don't hurt her like spanking or anything because it wont solve the problem. Good luck and dont lose hope.
• Philippines
18 Dec 12
Thanks! I hurt her sometimes, I really don't wanna do that because I feel pity on her but I really don't know the right way since that's the thing that my Mama did when I was a child too.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
18 Dec 12
What age exactly does your kid have? At the age of 2-3 years old it is normal kids are stubborn. It's natural for them to fight for their rights. You better be happy it does since this is something they will need to do for the rest of their lives. Unless you want them to be the underdog and bullied for the rest of their life. I never made a big deal out of it. If it's a no with me it's a no. No matter how hard they scream or misbehave, no matter if this is private or in public.
• Philippines
18 Dec 12
She's 5 years old, I want her to fight what she believe is right but only when she's truly right not just telling her yes even if she's wrong. She doesn't want to be taught because she thinks she knew everything.
@edvc77 (2143)
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
Do not withold discipline with your child. It would surely do good to her. If she is 5 years old, you can discipline her with love and talk to her when she does wrong. At the end, it will bear fruit. Correction is a sign of love. Have a nice day!