WHAT KIND OF family relationship you have?

Philippines
January 13, 2013 6:31am CST
I am trying to fix this family relationship which i grew up.Simple things always leads to big argument lucky is the day without arguing over simple things with one of my family member. Honestly,I am envy seeing other families like our neighboorhood that have good family relationship.Why this is my family.They gossip each other, telling the family problems to their friends and saying things against to each other to them. Haven't they realize that instead of fighting we must unite because A family is always a family.God choose us to be family.That in times of their needs we are the first one to help them because we love them because they are our family.Why after all the good things I have shown to them They never learned to loved us? you know I just keep on God's word "If you only love those who love you what reward you will received in Heaven .. Did the pegans are doing that too.." and that is why I never give up in loving them as my family although it hurts what are they doing to us. and they know that we know even I don't tell them.
2 people like this
9 responses
@SIMPLYD (79764)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Yes, just keep on loving them my friend. Someday they will see your goodness despite being that my friend. Perhaps you can talk to your mother about this situation in your family. The parents are the ones who should initiate on how this things could be prevented. Cry to them if you must so they will know how much you love the family to be together loving one another.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
thank you for that good advice. I really hope and pray that one day they will see what we have done to them and appreciate it
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
13 Jan 13
Right now I have a wonderful family relationship. The bond with my children seems to grow stronger each day. I always had love and support from my parents and it was easy to give that feeling back to them. When I was younger I did not always get along well with my younger brothers but that relationship is strong and supportive now. There is ten years between myself and my younger sister but we have always been the best of friends. I do not remember ever fighting with her. I cherish every member of my family and would not trade them for the world.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
You are lucky to have such kind of family for sure you have a very good parent because they raised a good and ideal family that you have now. They build a good family relationship.
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
i know saying this is bad but i'll say it anyway, if i had the chance to choose my parents i wouldn't choose my biological parents. i am a product of a broken family. my parents separated because my father left us for another woman because he believes that my mom is having an affair with another man. i know it's very difficult because they are far from each other because my mom is working in kuwait but, all i can say is that i have the most irresponsible father on earth . i know it's so bad to hate my family, but i so hate it and i'm just being true to myself.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
you know saying that your father's reason that the reason why he left his wife because it was cheating him is a very common excuse of a man who wanted to leave his family and be with other woman.I am also part of broken family.SO who I am today is because of my past and the pain that I experienced.Like you I used to hate and ashamed of my family that I questioned God. but I realize that everything has it's own perfect reason. and God is perfect and He has a perfect reason why He choose them to have a connection to our life.Sometimes there is a reason that we human can never explain and also stated in the bible that we only need to Trust Him. for this reason that I also read in FB wall about bible quotes .. that is the time I started to accept it although it's hurts.
@dee777 (1418)
• South Africa
13 Jan 13
Hi fearlessgara! Welcome to the real world of imperfect families! NO family is perfect. They will always gossip; want what the other family member has;think their children are better than the rest, etc. It is up to us to try and make the difference - ALWAYS! It is not easy. When I am with family I try to show them love. I try not to get involved in heavy debates, and listen more than I talk. I choose not to visit them too often - not because I hate them, but because I want to treasure good 'family-hood'.
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Thank you for sharing your opinion. That's good way also. listen rather than talk. perhaps I must do the same thing all though i cannot visit them since we are in the same house but different rooms. I should keep on staying in my room and lock.to avoid being involve ..and so they will not see any fault from me except from staying in room . I cannot find peace of this house because unEnding problem. and through prayers to God to change this situation
@edvc77 (2143)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
I like the two last sentences of your post. Just keep on loving them. God has given them as your family and you belong to this family. There is no perfect family. All have their own problems. I have a step sister and she doesn't know it. She is 18 years old now and we are not close with each other. She brags and envious and jealous of me. I do not trust her as well because she will find ways to look at me and find mistakes. Actually, I just ignore her. Maybe in time she will know her status in our family. We all have problems in family. However, acceptance is there that they are like that. Just pray for them for a change. God Bless
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Thank you and glad to hear that you are open minded person and have a good heart.Ya that's exactly the same here always looking for mistakes instead of good.and I wanted to change this kind of attitude by keep on telling to my daughter my one niece that i have and my little cousin when they fight I told them do not follow the bad things that you see in us.God will not give them Peace in life when they jealous and fight each other. I told them to be patience control anger and love each other so the blessings and presence of God will pour in house.
@Pegasus72 (1901)
14 Jan 13
I have to ask is the problem that they are not believers? I only say this because we too go through this with my husbands family. It is just sad how much they started hating our family when my husband turned his life over to the Lord, it was like night and day. All of a sudden they didn't want to be around us, they stopped getting gifts for the kids, or even visiting. Just sad, we keep praying for them.
@Kane121 (43)
14 Jan 13
I think mine is not so delightful. We are not who we used to be. I love to have a family , which is actually one person.
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
13 Jan 13
Well, the worst thing to do is when a member of a family that has issues starts telling about family problems to their friends, like you said in your post. I think every problem that a family has must stay and be solved within the family alone, or with professional help. Friends are not always the proper side to know about your family problems. I can't give you an answer why this happens to your family, maybe the members of your family are just constituted that way. Of course you won't stop loving them, they are your family after all, but they have to find a way to change the environment within their relationship. Otherwise it's huge embarassment for you and the other family members. To answer the question in your topic - I live with my significant other, who is also the father of my daughter, we're not married. We have problems and we try not to argue in front of the child, since it will traumatize her forever. We just try to survive in a difficult world and most of all, respect and love each other, while at the same time maintain our personal freedom, without humiliating each other.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
13 Jan 13
God did not choose you to be family. Your family choose you to be family. By making women pregnant, by women giving birth, by getting married to a stranger. The interesting thing is that (it sounds that way) nobody seems to feel close and you all seem to feel the need to prove him/herself. I think the biggest problem in your family is that nobody is taking the other one serious. Nobody is also realy listening to the other one. BTW it's not said the rest of the neighbourhood lives in a great family. Most families have their problems. I had with mine in my childhood as well. I do not have these problems with my children (3 are grown up), never had it with their friends, my son in law. In my case (to safe myself) the best thing to do was to leave my family and start a life of my own. I don't feel any connection or blood bond with what was once my family. I think I would not even recognize them if I would meet them somewhere. Which is a good thing. Just because you are family there is no need to stick together, to humilate eachother or stab in the back. If you can't live together it's way better to respect them the way they are and go your own way. It's better for them and way better for you and your own health and happiness.