My father-in-law is so annoying!!

China
January 14, 2013 5:40am CST
I know I shouldn't have criticised him this way,but I could no longer stand him any more. He usually speaks blind words which annoys me most.Last year when he and my mother-in-law met my parents for the first time,he said to my mom : "people here and there are all said your daughter is only after our money,just ignore it,sister." My mom got very angry but she said nothing just for sake of my marriage. And a lot of these things happend after that,I never thought a man can be so annoying.He always thinks his family is so wealth and rank,that nobody would match him,he knows everything in the world,and everything he does is right even though everyone knows it is wrong. He is not that wealthy,he owns a travel agency which has only three stuffs,my mother-in-law,a girl and he.The agency can only support the daily cost of their family,but he always thinks he is a great boss. Yesterday,he called my husband that his in-laws' daughter would get married,and asked my husband to ask a day's leave from work to drive him to his in-laws' home which is far away. But there are so many trains and buses to there,why can't he take a bus or a train,but to ask my husband to drive him.If my husband asks for a leave ,there will be a deduct from his wages. I really fed up with him,he is so selfish.What can I do?
2 people like this
12 responses
@jureathome (5363)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Hi Summer, you know what, your father in law sounds somewhat like mine. Although, my father in law doesn't think I'm after their money, he demands a lot from my husband. Even, my husband gets irritated by his own father's inconsiderate attitude, but he's always been a good son. His father would just call at any time of the day, even if he knows my husband is sleeping after work, and if my husband can't answer, he would get upset. He would ask my husband to do some errands for him, even if he knows it would take a lot of time, and its a workday. But, still my husband follows his old man. I think what he said to your mother is very impolite and so unnecessary. But, as long as you love your husband and he loves you as much, then your FIL doesn't have the power to break you down.
1 person likes this
• China
14 Jan 13
Yes,he is so rude to my mom,I will never forgive him for that.My mom is so honest,she said she could bear whatever my father-in-law said for the sake of my happiness with my husband,she knows that my husband and I love each other deeply.My mother feel wronged,I know.So I am now even more dislike him.
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
I'm curious as to why your FIL would have a chance to be rude to your mother. Do they often see each other? My mother only met my in-laws during our wedding. In-laws are living offshore, so we don't get to see them frequently.
• China
17 Jan 13
No,they seldom see each other,the first time they met each other was at our engagement party.He said that hurtful words when the first met.It was ridiculous.So after that,my parents didn't see them until the day we got married.
@Penday (40)
• China
14 Jan 13
I am sorry to see these things happened to you.In my opinion,your father-in-law is born this way.So,he wouldn't change according a disscussion or even some argues.He doesn't love anyone but himself,so even his son,your husband,can't pursuade him as well.The only thing you should do is bear it as much as possible.Everytime you are about to burn out,just think of your husband ,your love. But this is only my point of view!
• China
14 Jan 13
Yeah,all I could do now is just bear whatever he does or says,I couldn't qurral with him.Nothing gonna change him I know.Thank you for your words anyway.
@Penday (40)
• China
15 Jan 13
Try to be positive,just keep optimistic in your mind.Things would be better,believe in yourself.Try to smile,don't let the predicament change youself!I got your back!
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
He seems to be full of himself. Just ignore him because according to our belief here, if you hate or don't like someone and you are pregnant, the child will look like the person you hate.
• China
14 Jan 13
WOO,that's terrible,don't scare me!
• China
14 Jan 13
It sounds horrible,but I don't know why.I can't help laughing now.
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
your not the only one who experience a lot of marriages need to settle with their in laws for a long time. even though, they are annoying you need to deal with them and be patience. after, all the family ties would be strong and could not be cut off by being part of their family. for a long time you would get to use to his attitude and if he already cross the boundary. you could tell it to him directly so he could stop or slow down and make him aware that you dislike his attitude.
• China
16 Jan 13
Ok,thank you,I will take your advice.He once said something which made me even more angry so that I told back to him,however he said nothing which showed that he had already realised his fault.And my mother-in-law scolded him at the same time.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
14 Jan 13
Unfortunately you cannot change him, he is the way he is and although it might be annoying you have to accept that is the way he is. My father is selfish and incredibly lazy and won't lift a finger to help mum in any way, he spends all his time in front of the television, eating and drinking and doing no exercise, he is 68, actually today he is, but he is soooo set in his ways, it's impossible to change him. You can get upset, annoyed, angry but at the end of the day you are upsetting no one but yourself.
• China
16 Jan 13
Ok,thank you for your comforting.I know nobody gonna change him,and I do not want to qurral with him face to face .All I can do is to tolerant.But I will try to ignore him.
@nykalex88 (244)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Simply just ignore him. You can't blame him because he is what he is. There are really people who don't care of the words they have said just to praise themselves. I know a lot of people like that, they are selfish people who don't want to be on the ground. They always feel that they have everything and that the know everything in this world. That they are the best in any field and so on. I feel pity for that that kind of people because when they get old, they are just like a a parrot who just always repeat what he have said.
• China
14 Jan 13
Yeah,thank you for your words,he is so selfish that he nearly has no friends at all,he never goes to work in winter,so he stays at home with my mother-in-law,and seldom goes out to meet other people.I do think he is a lonely man.
• China
14 Jan 13
Simmer down please,Summer. After all,he is your husband's father and you need to get along with him now and in the future.He is a man with kinda self-contained.So he has the feeling of superiority.Just ignore him as you can,or your anger will encourage him to be more arrogant. Good luck to you.Have a nice day.
• China
14 Jan 13
Ok,I will try to ignore him,but it is impossible to get along with that kind of person who only cares about himself.I really want to have a big fight with him,but I couldn't,he is my father-in-law somehow.
@prashu228 (25811)
• India
14 Jan 13
Hi I can understand but try to solve the problem with cool attitude. If its not possible to take the leave then tell him the same .Why unnecessary fights? i mean this takes away the peace of all the people in the family especially you and makes disturbed.
• China
14 Jan 13
I know there is no sense to talk with him.And I don't want to talk to him any more,I don't want to make troubles mysellf.My husband is so obidient,he will sure ask for the leave from work,which makes me feel more angry.
@doroffee (4230)
• Hungary
14 Jan 13
Try to ignore him, or tell him in a diplomatic but firm manner that he annoys you, especially if it concerns you personally and your life. I know it's hard when an in-law acts that way, as we can't choose them. I know what you feel, my grandmother was similar, sometimes it was scandalous how she behaved... I really respect my mom for bearing all her stupidity with such poise... only once she became angry and told her her mind, and that was when my grandma was acting rude to me.
• China
14 Jan 13
I know most mother-in-laws are so annoying,but I have never seen father-in-law could act this way.He is so mean that even his two sisters are not in good relationship with him.However,he can not realise his problems.I even don't want to speak a word to him.
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Jan 13
I would just do your best to either ignore him or kill him with kindness. Being mean in return to him will get you nowhere and he might enjoy the argument for how he sounds...
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Bear with him, since you already what kind of personality he has from the start. As long as he is not hurting anyone physically- just ignore him. Don't listen to him as if he doesn't exist and surely you will get use to his speaking and soon you won't be affected anymore.
@Carolyn63 (1403)
• United States
14 Jan 13
My father in law passed 2 weeks ago. And he was a lot like yours. Knew everything, was always right, stuck his nose in everyone elses business, etc. He made me nuts. I kept my mouth shut, bit my tongue when I really wanted to let him have it for the sake of everyone elses sanity. The one time I did try to talk to him it got me no where. What I said and what he heard were two different things. Banging my head on a brick wall would have produced the same results. Thing is, there was a great side to him that none of the family knew. That, to me, is the saddest part. Here was this judgemental, prejudiced, hateful person that was not there for his family when they were growing up. To the point that when I looked through all of our photos there isn't a single one of him because he wasn't there. Yet people I barely know tell us of him being there for families in need. It's exasperating. What's more exasperating is everyone still walks on eggshells since he past. Oh, we can't do this because he would have had a fit. Excuse me? You are still going to live your life around someone whom made you nuts? I found out the other day that he left nothing to his daughters in his will. They don't know that yet. One of them I assure you is going to go off on the rest of the family. My husband and I have the family business but we got it years ago and my husband worked for it for over 20 years. Yes, that's a blessing, but it wasn't exactly free, we paid rent, or I should say we covered his alimony and then some. I can't tell you if having had the chance to sit him down and force him to hear the truth would have benefited anyone. We will never know. Deep down I don't think it would have made a difference because it wouldn't have changed whom he was. My point is, you can rant and rave, you can bite your tongue, but you can't make him be someone he isn't. But there may be a side of him you don't know. Just something to keep in mind. Good luck.