How's the relationship with your father? Do you love him if he's a troublesome?

January 23, 2013 9:55am CST
My father is a trouble. When I was born, he cheating on my mom, my mon cried for a long time so that her vision is bad. When I was a little girl, my father usually beat my sister for no reason. My sister is 9 years older than me, but she hated my father not beat me at that time. So when my parents went out, she beat me back. I hated what my sister did, so I told my mom,but this thing let both my father and sister knew, my father thought mon and me repel sister, and my sister dislike me more. When I was a senior high school student, my father had no job. He stay at home often beat and scold my mom, sometimes I came back to home, I saw my mom's face or body have bruise. He scold my sister and me too, no matter how me treat him well, he disatisfied. The period he had a affair with a woman, was the most darkest time of our family. He cursed everyone of us, lose control and then scold for everything: the food is no enough(but we don,t even finish them) , spend a little money from him. He is lazy,saldom does homework, but I don,t care.I just want him shut up. But it is a dream never come true. He fakes excuse to blame us, not respect us,look down to anyone except himself. He never listen to our suggestion, when things get bad, he owe every problem to us(especially to mom and me couse our temper are better) Thanks for his great effection, I don,t know how to get along with men, even I really want to find a boyfriend, but I even don't have a boy friend. How pathetic I am! I want to get rid of him, but how? I used to love him, now, I don't know how to love him again.Why does him always keep hurting us again and again and never realze this? I am worried about my future, but he just mocking me which makes me disappointed.
2 people like this
5 responses
• Dhaka, Bangladesh
23 Jan 13
Hi friend, there are some fathers, who create problems for both their sons, daughters and wife. If the persons is such, then you should be careful about him. Have a very nice day.
24 Jan 13
He is the type that no matter how careful you are, he can find any flaw from you. I used to argue with him, his eloquence was not as good as me, but he was not supposed to shut up, he said I am ugly,not pretty! Just in order to defeat me. Fine, is all the DNA problem...I have choice to make my temper gentle, but I can't decide my apparence at all!
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
I guess your mother needs a divorce. You won't be happy unless you won't separate with him. If you are studying, continue it. Do your best so that you can find a good job. I hope you and your sister will cooperate with each other and both of you should help your mom when you're already working. Don't be afraid of hving a boyfriend. I hope you can find a good man. Not all men are bad. There are just some who love doing bad things against other people. Goodluck. Be strong.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
Sorry to hear about this. I suggest that you try to finish your studies and get a job. Try to get a good job or a work that may give you a good salary. And once you are stable and save enough, get a house where you can stay with your mom. For the meantime, you can ask your mom to file a complain against your father's physical abusing. I am not sure if you are brave enough to this to your father- but if you ask me...I won't hesitate to have him lock in jail for hurting,beating, physically and mentally abusing his family (you, your sister and especially your mom) Being a father or a husband does not mean that he has all the right to abuse his family.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
I am so sorry that your life isn't that good with your father ever since you were a kid. It is hard to change the way that he is unless he realizes his faults. But I do hope that you can still see yourself in a relationship in the future. Just strive to be a better person for your partner and for your future family.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 13
Most men are like that no matter where on earth you live. I travelled a lot, I lived in different countries and fact is: men like to have a wife to take care of them, the children and everything. My father did study and work (my mother worked to make it possible to study for a doctor) and he left. He had many gf's and was lying and cheating and kicking at each (rich) woman he got. He all abused them and was proud of that too. He tried to drag me into it too, used me as an excuse why he was not home (if his wife called I say he is at the toilet, I should call him at his gf's home etc.. and a person like that is preaching out of the bible as well!). My dad Always told great stories about how the women adored him, already at school carring his bag etc) and at his doctor office he had mainly female patients. He only cared about himself and still believes he is a great guy. He likes his daughters way more as his sons, mainly because his daughters adored him way longer as his sons did (let's hope they are different as he is). I have no contact with him anymore since years. He is not the kind of dad I want but also not the type of grand dad I want for my children. BTW my dad is not really lazy, he is able to clean a house very well, to cook as well and do the laundry. Loves to show off and brag about everything, Always knows better how or what. I don't think he has feelings at all. It's not possible to talk with him about what is keeping you busy unless it's an illness or treatment (the newest is the best). If you say how you feel he will say: feelings are not important, they don't count come with facts! You want to get rid of your dad? Delete him out of your life after you told him (I wrote my dad a letter about how I think about him, he replied with prhases out of the bible, I replied with a long letter full of phrases out of the bible again and he wrote back a short note: I think it's better we don't meet for a while, which was fine with me) how you think about him. No mater if this is your father or not: respect you have to earn! Lazy men are useless, abusive men can be missed. These are not the type of men women will ever like or love, they are just a pain in the a... I am sorry your mother did not find a better man, to be honest I think she will be better off without him and so are you. Make your own plans, set your goals and plan your future, if not you will get stucked to him forever!