Single again!
By CosmoOwl12
@CosmoOwl12 (411)
United States
February 21, 2013 4:44pm CST
I can't believe it took me almost two years to realize what a horrible person my ex is. I know, some of you have probably read my previous posts about him and I having to deal with his ex, but things were great for a little while. But I recently found out that he's been cheating on me for awhile and of course he stopped helping me with our daughter.
I filed for child support a few weeks ago and I got my copy of the papers they sent to him, so I know he already got them but he's saying he hasn't received them yet. He's going to do everything he can to get out of paying me but Indiana is a lot more strict with child support than Illinois is. His ex (who he has a 5 year old with) had him arrested for non-payment of child support and if she hadn't have done that, he still wouldn't be paying her.
He makes no effort to see our daughter and he came over on Tuesday to get the rest of his stuff and he just walked in the door like he owned the place. I said "you don't know how to knock?" and he ignored me. He didn't even acknowledge our daughter and neither did his dad, who was helping him get his stuff.
His family was talking about me on Facebook saying I'm a bad mother and I shouldn't be treating him the way I am. Well they have clue what's been going on with us and it's none of their business anyway. I made a new Facebook account, blocked his whole family and his ex's family (I found out she's been telling him and his dad my business after they both claim they don't speak to each other anymore) and I changed my phone number. I don't need all that crap in my life and my daughter shouldn't have to deal with it either. It's not her fault that her dad is a deadbeat and she has all the love and care that she needs. :)
4 people like this
12 responses
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
21 Feb 13
your not alone there are alot of us out here with ex's like yours be well be safe
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
21 Feb 13
something i forgot to write is change the locks if he knows any of your password change them as well as in bank info as well as anything else he can use to do harm to you for a few days till you can fix it
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
27 Feb 13
well i wish you the best of luck and I hope that you can find a person that will love you and respect you for who you are and not hurt you or your feelings
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
23 Feb 13
That's tough. How can people be like this, refusing to help out and pay for child support when the child is theirs. Don't they care for the child at all? I find that inhumane.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
2 Mar 13
Relatives can be really biased too and they are so annoying.
@CosmoOwl12 (411)
• United States
2 Mar 13
I definitely agree with you there. His family is crazy anyway.
@CosmoOwl12 (411)
• United States
1 Mar 13
I agree with you. I don't see how people can show no emotion towards their children.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
22 Feb 13
I do remember your other posts and I am guessing that now you might have a bit of a better understanding of what his ex went through. I don't remember all the details...only that you had some trouble with her.
Anyway, good on you for not tolerating his crap and being tough enough to move on for your sake and your daughter's. If more women did that then these guys who treat women poorly would have to clean up their act or remain single. You did the right thing and you are sending a message to your daughter as well so that she won't grow up thinking that it's a good idea to put up with this stuff. Kudos to you!!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
27 Feb 13
Oh and his ex sounds like a real piece of work. I would be so glad to be out of that situation. Sending her daughter over to the house knowing that they are dealing?? That is nuts. She may think she is having free babysitting but the price is apt to come later. I hope not but she is taking some risks with her little one.
@CosmoOwl12 (411)
• United States
1 Mar 13
That is one reason why I never listened to her. I figured she was just being the jeaous ex and telling me stories about him. She does tend to lie about everything anyway.
She is definitely a piece of work. She has known for years that they are dealing. His dad has been doing it since before he was born. My family has known their family for decades now. So she has to know about it since they used to live together. Like I said, she just doesn't wanna give up the free babysitter.
My ex did sign the child support papers without a fuss, which surprises me. I figure he didn't make an issue about it because I know a lot more about him and his work situation than his ex does and that's why he tried to get out of it with her.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
I think that you did the right thing. You need a fresh start. You don't need people like them. Just do whatever you need to raise your kid and fight for that child support.
@CosmoOwl12 (411)
• United States
27 Feb 13
Thank you very much! I will for sure be fighting for child support!
@kaeirole (668)
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
I haven' t read your previous posts...but with your post now, i can picture out how stupid your ex is...he has no right for treating you like that...and his family is so disappointing..they're acting like they're not adults...they shouldn't tolerate him for doing thise things to you..
And you made the right decision...you deserve way better than him..and your lovely daughter doesn't need a father like him..im sure with all the love and support from you, your daughter will become a better person..she'll understand soon your situation..
@mondaylover (183)
• Poland
22 Feb 13
Oh well, that break up didn't go very gracefully, did it? Talkin on Facebook about how someone is a bad mother is not only rude but also it's pathetic how these people made a public affair over something that supposed to be private. It's a shame that you had to chane your number and Facebook account to assure your daughter and yourself some peace but you did the right thing. The last thing you need now is involving yourself in a huge family fight. It's better to stay out of this. Enjoy your freedom.
@CosmoOwl12 (411)
• United States
27 Feb 13
Thank you. I believe that I did the right thing because now my daughter and I don't have that stress and drama in our lives. After what him and his family have done to me and mine, I don't want anything to do with them. None of them make an effort to see my daughter anyway, not even her father.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
22 Feb 13
Hello Cosmo, you have to be very brave and strong. Your daughter needs you most. You have the right to be happy, you have the right to fight for your future.
Blessings Cosmo for you and your daughter... dainy
@kourdapya (924)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
I must say you're a strong woman for doing those things. Good luck to your new life then. I'm sure you and your child will be fine. There are many single women out there who did a fine job raising their child on their own. If a better man would come along that won't be bad, right? Have a nice day!
@dianon_ice14 (461)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
I always think that RELATIONSHIPS are worth fighting for especially if there is someone relying on that "your daughter" and this time is very difficult because being a single parent is so difficult.
BUT I salute with your decision. Base on your post, maybe your husband has pushed you to the limit.
I don't feel sorry for you because I know that you will be better of without him... Just stay postiive and be blessed because even if your relationship didn't wprk and livinjg with him is like hell, still he gave you your daughter which is the most precious gift of all..
PRAY, God is here for you!
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
21 Feb 13
You're right, you're all your daughter needs. He is not a big loss to your daughter, especially if there is no indication that he will ever change. I cannot believe that he and the rest of his family will ignore your daughter that way. I mean, if they don't want to acknowledge your presence, that's fine. But if it's his own daughter that he ignores with the rest of his family, then your daughter will be far off without them. I know it will be difficult, but the way I see it in your post, it will be harder if you guys still stay together.
@CosmoOwl12 (411)
• United States
27 Feb 13
If I could post some of the messages his family members sent me, the things they said were just awful and not true. I even messaged his grandma on Facebook (since that's the only way I had to get a hold of her) telling her that she was always someone from his family that I liked and I would like for her to see my daughter and she told me no! So my daughter is definitely better off without all of them if they're going to be so rude and hurtful about something they know nothing about.
@MHernandez (218)
• South Korea
22 Feb 13
Oh! that man is terrible, he must be going through something since he did it with his ex, too!! I think he needs to be on his own for a while and contemplate about his life!!
@ruchadhawal31 (228)
• India
22 Feb 13
Hey good that you realised it early. Now atleast you can stay happy with your daughter. Hope everything will be fine in your life further..
