I Should be Napping....but I Can't Sleep

United States
March 3, 2013 2:58pm CST
My daughter wanted me, her dad (my ex-husband) and his mother over at her house today. It was....interesting. My daughter is expecting in May and since there is a lack of day care in this area she is taking all the steps/classes to open her own daycare. She has crunched the numbers and even at the low end she's realistic about it. All she wants is help. So she is asking for physical labor and some financial help in fencing the back yard in. I don't think it was an unreasonable request. Her grandmother though....wow. Now I know there isn't any love lost over my ex-mother-in-law and I. To be honest it was about 80% of why my marriage didn't work out with her son; however, she was completely out of line at my daughter's house. Where her and I just stir clear of each other she was bagging out on my daughter. At one point I put up my hand and shh'ed her. There was no reason in the world she had to talk to my daughter that way. I don't know how my daughter puts up with her and I credit her for her patience. She really is a phenomenal young woman. So sitting here now thinking about it all and I know should be napping because have to work tonight, but I can't. So do people irritate you to the point you can't do what you want too? I know we shouldn't give them that amount of power over us, but wow what a reminder I'm so happy not to be part of that family anymore.
3 people like this
8 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
It happens to me once in a while. But instead of putting strain to the relationship between me and my mother in law, a I just oblige to what she wants so I don't have to hear about what she wants over and over. I guess, I could be too accommodating sometimes to everyone else and so they get the thinking that I am always fine by that.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 13
It can be hard to be accommodating all the time. I know sometimes we have to step down just because, as you said, you'll hear it over and over again. Kind of like a broken record player
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
3 Mar 13
Sooner or later you will always find people who do irritate you for a moment or longer but this mostly has to do with how we feel. If we feel attacked we are and we don't like that person. To be honest: your daughter is pregnant and she has (or should have) be prepared of that. Think about it before it came that far what she and her bf/husband/the father of the child do need for the child/in their lives if they work and want children as well. It's not the duty of the grandparent or other family to pay for a fence or her pregnancy (unless perhaps she is a single jobless woman without any escape to a future). If you are adult enough to start a family you should be adult enough to manage yourself. Might sound hard to you but I was 17 years old as I was pregnant and I did managed alone, without the dad or family or friends. My daughter nearly 29 turned out great!Also the relationship your daughter has with her granny is different as you have had with her.
• United States
4 Mar 13
Yes, she has had trouble finding child care. In these smaller communities they open, they close, or close for 5 months then re-open. People can't depend on that kind of schedule so I respect her and her families decision to for this. It is good to see her excited about something over worrying if her daycare is going to close in a moments notice.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Mar 13
It's very common here to keep/watch a grandchild. I enjoy my grandma title actually. It's like having my daughter little all over again.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
4 Mar 13
yes, people do make me angry to the point that i can't do what i want to do. i hate it when i get that way. it is so tiring. that is why i don't deal with very many people. that's why i chose not to deal with my in laws as much.
• United States
6 Mar 13
I hope your in laws don't live close to you LOL I know what you mean, it sucks the energy right out of you. Almost like you have to be on the defensive all the time because you never know what they will take out of what you're saying....URGH.
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
4 Mar 13
Hello Kprof I hope that you are fine. Honey yes I know some irritating people I cann´t deal with, I just avoid them as far as I can. My in laws are 800 miles form here, but there are some girls at the parish that irritate me so much, but as you say I wont give them that amount of power over me. I just ignore them, and I´m much more happier ignoring them, and of course they get mad, but I´m very happy because I have found peace in mind, and peace in heart. They are single and younger than me, but I stopped at this parish 10 years ago, when we moved to this city. Since then I have a ministry, and I don´t mind about snooping in anybody´s life, not comparing me with nobody. I love peace, and that´s what I expect from life. This mature mistress they have nothing, I´m married, I have three children and a husband, of course we have material things, but my treasure is my family, and this mature girls don´t have even boyfriend. I have a career, this young ladies do not have it. I don´t want to compare me with them, not talk more about them. The point is that to have peace of mind I just ignore them, and I don´t give them power over me, and I´m very happy. Just ignore your in law, as you said, thanks God you are out of that family Blessings Kprof... dainy
• United States
6 Mar 13
I often wonder if some people just want to start arguments/disagreements/bad feelings because it makes them feel better about themselves. I have thought about that many times and the more you ignore their poor behavior the madder it does make them. Years ago had to just bypass the mother-in-law or would just look at her then turn my head and continue talking. I am happy that no longer have to deal with her. Peace of mind is a wonderful thing!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
you're right, don't let her overpower your thoughts. i don't know how your ex-mother-in-law treated you but the fact that you are no longer part of their family should be a sigh of relief on you. go ahead and sleep and don't let anyone rob your peace. your daughter might be going through the same thing but she seems to be tolerant about it. go ahead and sleep, let's enjoy life while we have it. :) happy mylotting!
• United States
12 Mar 13
My daughter and I talked about it and was happy to be there for her. Yup, you're right. No need to have a person rain on my parade when I carry an umbrella!
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
I've met some of irritating people, I remembered someone, my room mate in my former boarding house. Everytime, I saw her it really irritates me, feels like I don't want to see her. I don't like her attitude, she's a lesbian. I'm not against the lesbians, its her attitude that I don't like.
• United States
8 Mar 13
Some people do wear their attitudes. They are called people repellers...giggles
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
3 Mar 13
Oh yes, I have my share of irritating people that they can't seem to get out of my mind. And no matter how I tell myself that I shouldn't let them affect me, there are just incidences that I cannot let it go easily. I am like you, in a way that when it is just me being affected, I can easily walk away from it and ignore it. But when my loved ones are the ones that are highly upset, then I am more affected.
• United States
5 Mar 13
I feel bad for my daughter, but thankfully her grandmother doesn't live close. I just wasn't going to sit there and listen to her do that to my daughter. All patience has its bounds!
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
3 Mar 13
i feel the same way, been up 12 hours so far. But I cant sleep so early here. Its only 307 pm here in mexico...........
• United States
4 Mar 13
You keep some long, long days Maria.