If you knew your husband's mistress, what would you do?
By raynejasper
@raynejasper (2322)
Philippines
March 5, 2013 1:33am CST
Several times, I've read that when you confront your husband's mistress, you are stooping to their level. Then I realize, sometimes, when we are driven by our fury, we can't help but get angry and we lost control of ourselves especially if we caught them together. If you were the one who's been cheated and you know the third party, what would you do? One of my friend actually posted the face of her husband's mistress in the facebook and labeled her as home wrecker. I don't know if I would agree with what she did. I just understand that maybe, she's already fed up.
1 person likes this
16 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
5 Mar 13
The question is not: if you knew your husband's mistress what would you do but... If you know your husband has a mistress what would you do? As soon as I know my husband has a mistress he is out. I would not blame the mistress or make her life a hell since it is my husband's choice to have one and to cheat. So our marriage is over that is for sure and I go on with my life.
2 people like this
@Nandita2013 (132)
• India
5 Mar 13
I dont know what i would do if i caught my husband with mistress but i am sure i will reach the limits. I wont stay with a man who has cheated me why should we suffer. If he cant be faithful it would be better he leaves.
2 people like this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
5 Mar 13
I really wouldn't know how i would react to it coz, when i get angry I hyperventilate. I might get a stroke if that happens to me. There was an incident wherein I caught my husband speaking on his cellphone and it was obvious that it was a girl coz he was acting in a weird way. Instead of confronting him, I decided to find a seat coz I am almost fainting with the way I was breathing. It just so happened that my Skype was logged in and I managed to call my sister in law. And despite my condition, I was able to tell her what happened. She got really worried coz I think it took me about 30 minutes before my breathing went back to normal.
So, I guess that when something like that happens, I'll just let my husband sgtay with his mistress instead of sacrificing my life for nothing.
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
whoah! that's so difficult. You might lose your life if it happens. You are right, I would agree to just let go of the husband rather than sacrifice your life moreso if there's a kid involved.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Exactly! So why would I waste my life on a person who did not value the love I have for him? I might not be able to become rich, and that is fine. But I only got one life to live, so I should make the most out of it. And being stuck with a cheater would definitely be a no-no.
@sheillaG0623 (171)
• Philippines
5 Mar 13
i've been in the same situation few years back...
i never tried to confront my husband or even dared to talk to his mistress...
what I did is, I tried to win back my husband by taking care of him more, less nagging, more laughs, less shouting, and more love making.. i know its hard. but we have to understand them as well. compete w/ the mistress by becoming a mistress to your husband... it works for me... less fight more love... and with the help of the Lord he get rid of his mistress.
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Nah sheilla i couldn't do way you did and not say anything because the minute you start doing something he doesn't like he may get another mistress and blame u as usual. See you thought you had to take care of him more and less nagging. Well what about your hubby did he take care of you a lot and nag very little before the mistress. If this was not the case and he nagged and didn't take a lot of care of you when how could he he was busy with another woman then u need to get a boyfriend. Nit really get a boyfriend i'm just trying to make a point that every body in a marriage nags and sometimes cares little for the spouse and such. I'm sure your hubby was not at all perfect as yous say you were not but that doesn't mean he needs to get a mistress. I wasn't your fault he got the mistress he just blamed you for it is all.I mean he wasn't caring for you when he was with her now was he and now that you have him back do you think he wont get another mistress and blame u just to get what he got from you the first time.
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Maybe hell get another woman because you forgave him and think you will again.not saying he will but a lot of guys when forgiven for cheating still cheat.
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
5 Mar 13
If i have never cheated which i never have on my hubby nor he on in 13 yrs so i am lucky. Tho if i have not cheated and he has then why do i need to understand him. Things in the marriage are not perfect or me yet i don't cheat tho he does say and i have to understand him. No way in He!! would i even try to understand him. If he has a problem with me then talk to me or let's get counselling and try to fix the marriage and not make it worse by cheating. If your spouse love you he doe not cheat and if he wants to then talk to you about what's wrong or get a divorce but i do not will not understand him when i need understanding as well and hes not being there for me much and i didn't cheat. You didn't cheat on him yet u r the one that has tp do the understanding that part i don't understand. he hurt you instead if telling you what was wrong with the marriage and u need to understand him i think NOT.
1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18278)
•
5 Mar 13
I do not understand why you are more angry with her than with you husband, she owes you little, he much
all the best, urban
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
maybe because the mistress already knew that the guy is married and has a kid. Though it's not really all her fault but she could have done something.
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
5 Mar 13
If it were me and i knew my hubby had a mistress and i knew her yes id go talk to her and say did you know he had a wife did you know he was heating and if she knew then id let her have it and speak my mind. Then i would go to my hubby and he'd hear from me so bad and so much as i packed his bags and said hit the road jack and don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. When i was a teenager a boyfriend cheated on me and i knew it and said nothing and told myself that wont ever happen again. Next time a guy cheats on me he's hearing from me.
@machatago (385)
• Philippines
5 Mar 13
Confront the both of them, first the husband, then the husband with the mistress. Hopefully get everything settled before it gets worse. Of course trust will be broken between the two of you, but even if it hurts working it out is still the answer and make sure that mistress won't get in the way, the second time will be enough and she'll be sorry for sure, including the husband of course.
1 person likes this
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
17 Mar 13
if i will know who is the mistress of my husband then of course i will surely do a plan,i will surely embarass that woman in the front of many people or in public or crowded place so she would know what kind of woman of the husband wife she got.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
6 Mar 13
I'd leave my husband, probably.
My boyfriend's mother had a problem with her cheating husband. You know what she did? She spied on him and followed him. She just left him alone and minded her own business mostly. Then, she became mischievous and fooled her husband by pretending to be his romantic text mate. Her own husband would send her money and gifts to this text mate(which is actually her) She made a fool of him by spending his own money and enjoying his gifts. It's really silly. I think this is a cool and clever way to get revenge.
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
What a clever idea! The thing is, my ex has different numbers and i don't what he's actually using because he changes his number every now and then.
@ladysilver (370)
•
5 Mar 13
My mother had dinner with both her husband and his mistress.She went to the restaurant where they were dining and joined them.They both felt uncomfortable, my mother felt like a winner.They had a serious talk and no drama.That woman was shaking from fear thinking that my mother would hit her or something.She did a better thing: she divorced that miserable liar.Did he marry his mistress?Yes, he did.Was he faithful to her?No he wasn't.After ten years he divorced that woman and married for the third time.He was hopeless cheater.
I hope your story will have a happier ending.I mean bad husbands always return home, but do you really want to live all your life with a weak man like that?
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
I love what your mother did. That's one thing I never did but when the mistress sent me messages, I didn't say any bad words. I just told her that if they're happy being together, then they might as well continue living together. I don't like to spend the rest of my life living with a man who would betray me over and over again. Last monday, her mistress called me crying. She's claiming she's innocent and said she was sorry. I didn't say any word though I wanted to tell her that she's not innocent. In the very beginning, she knew that the man was married and has a kid but she chose to live with him. So why is she crying now anyway. She has him and I'm not taking him back.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
5 Mar 13
If my husband my husband has a mistress and I knew her, I swear I will make her life miserable as far as I can together with my husband. Sometimes we blame ourselves for having our husband mistress but the truth is we did not done something wrong instead they are so weak to resist the temptation. As far as I know my husband has no mistress but I grew up seeing my mother crying and fighting with my father because of mistress and it's really horrible. I think you should talk to you husband about it and he does not listen to you it's time to do some actions about it. For the mistress if she knew that your husband was married then she deserve to feel the pain too and take the consequences for being a mistress.
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
right. There's no point of staying in a marriage when the husband is not in any way interested in working out the relationship. As they say, it takes two to tango. no relationship could ever grow if only one is making the effort. She deserves to feel the pain, though I don't really think much of her. I'm just wondering why she should cry because in the first place, I'm not taking my husband back.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
5 Mar 13
If I know who is my husband's mistress, I will sue them both for child support (if we have kids). Because if she is benefitting from my husband and my husband is sharing his money to this woman, then both of them should help with the finances of bringing up our kids. I will not let another woman ruin my kids' chance for a good future. My husband, she can already have. I don't need a man who will choose a woman whose morals are unknown that his own family. But I will not let our kids suffer just because they want to indulge themselves in this affair.
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Right! I'll definitely do what you said. We'll be making the agreement one of this days and I'm not going to let him just slip away. I'll make sure he supports our child.
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I think it depends on the situation. If I knew the mistress then yes I would confront her and it would not be pretty. I doubt though I would post it on facebook but I can assure you my other friends would know about her. As for him well lets just say he would not like all that I had to say. I would not handle this well I am sure but my voice would be heard on the issue. Probably as I was packing his bags and tossing them outside.
1 person likes this
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
16 Mar 13
Not a thing. It is not the mistress who vows loyalty to you on your wedding day. That would be your spouses department.
