how can we survive with this kind of relationship
By kaeirole
@kaeirole (668)
Philippines
March 8, 2013 8:57am CST
i hate it so much! it's been weeks already that i don't like talking to my girlfriend..
she just decided to go to dubai without even asking my side if it;ll be ok for me..i know she's doing this for herself..but i just hate it that she's deciding all by herself without even consulting me..but when i opened up to her before of me going to other country to work, she always said she doesn't like me going abroad to work...
grrrr...she's just so unfair!it would be ok if she consulted me first..but our communication were close cause she doesn't want to talk about anything to me..and now she just said that she'll be going...that's it already?no if's no but's??
how can we survive with a long distance relationship when in the first place, she's practicing already close communication..
2 people like this
12 responses
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
there is a problem somewhere in the relationship. why is she keeping secrets? i think this is what you should be asking her in a serious talk. there has to be some form of discussion about your concerns and her reasons that must be made.
do not take it for granted. talk with her soon. 
1 person likes this
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
9 Mar 13
ask if she is serious about the relationship. sad to say but it looks like it is just a one way thing. Honestly speaking everything must be considered before taking a big and major such as this. It is not consultation whether you will agree on it or not but more on a RESPECT to you.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
9 Mar 13
She left already? I think she needs to do this. Let her be. I hope she is v aware of the dangers she could face in there especially if there is no one in there that she knew? Why of all places think of dubai? Well anyway I guess she wasn't thinking clearly and if you did get a chance to talk to her do not oppose her and tell her you want to understand why she is leaving and why weren't you given the chance to know about this beforehand?
I agree with you that it will be tough for you especially if she is already keeping things from you.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
9 Mar 13
I think your relationship would get better if you and her improve your communication. These days we have mobile phone text messages and emails on a laptop or computer. I hope she keeps up communication whilst she is in Dubai. I am very keen on traveling and no man has ever been able to prevent my trips. Good luck with your relationship.
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
9 Mar 13
She seems inconsiderate and rather selfish to not even tell you about her plans. I can understand that she is determined to go to the place, but she should have at least told you and hear what you have to say about it at least.
Besides, you shouldn't let her wishes control what you do.
Give it time, if she remains like this, then you should talk about this issue with her and solve it.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
8 Mar 13
I think the long distance is not the thing you should worry first, but the mere fact that your girlfriend decided to hide things from you even when she is still close to you. If she starts doing that while the two of you are close physically, just imagine what she would do now that she is away from you. You two should have talked about how you want this relationship to go, what are the "rules", for lack of a better word. Because you both have to be in on this together. And moving in another country even for legit reasons like work is a big deal.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
8 Mar 13
Unless you have up communication then you can not have any kind of relationship. Being that you are married, this isn't a something she has to decide with you first. But it would have been nice if she would have talk to you first.
If she isn't willing to talk to you, then this relationship is most likely over
@anneshirley (1516)
• Philippines
10 Mar 13
I think you should start questioning yourself whether your girlfriend really loves you or not. From my point of view, to keep relationship strong, you must have good and open communication. If your girlfriend hides this thing from you, what other things may she be keeping from you? If she truly loves you, she will inform you of all her thoughts and all her feelings. That's how a girl is.
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
8 Mar 13
I think in all relationships there has to be communication, without it any relationship will fail. I think you need to have a talk with her about this. It is not really fair of her not to speak with you about it first.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
8 Mar 13
How come a woman Always have to consult or ask a man first but men just say they leave and women have to agree with it or should I say swallow it? I assume your gf is an adult and she is a free person to do as she likes. Did she ask you to pay for her journey? The fact you talk about "being unfair" already sounds to me as if you are not grown up/an adult at all. Also it sounds to me you are not in a real relationship at all. You both don't like to talk to eachother or share. So my question is: what makes you think you two do have a relationship? Why don't you end it if you hate talking to her? Seems to me she feels exactly the same about you.
1 person likes this
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
8 Mar 13
I don't think this is a harmonious relationship. I know it's hard when you still have feelings towards her, but it would the best to break up. I'm not telling this because I oppose long-distance relationships. because I don't: I do think that if a relationship is strong, a long distance relationship would not hurt it. But in your case, because:
-she closed you out of her plans
-she did something she kind of banned for you
-she doesn't even talk to you
For me, it seems like she doesn't even love you that much anymore. For your own sake, stop this relationship, to give a chance to find a girl who deserves you love and affection more... because if you don't, you're going to be driven CRAZY after she leaves.
1 person likes this
@Scoffield127 (110)
• United States
8 Mar 13
Her action is quite inexplicable. She should have at least informed someone she sees as a friend even when her mind is made up. Considering the fact that you seek her opinion in matters of such nature, a hint from her would have been quite understood.
However, If you both think you can make it with the distance, its still good.
1 person likes this
