Signs That You Drink Too Much...

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- You regularly lose arguments with inanimate objects. - You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. - Job interfering with your drinking. - Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. - Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts. - The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. - Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. - 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? - Two hands and just one mouth...now THAT'S a drinking problem! - You can focus better with one eye closed. - The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. - Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. - Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger...skip dinner! - Mosquitoes catch a buzz after biting you! - At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..." - Your idea of cutting back is less salt with your Tequila.