can lovers become good friends?

Philippines
March 9, 2013 11:26pm CST
When a relationship ends and you start a new one, is it really possible to have your old flame as a good friend? This is quite a good thing to happen if its really possible but there are some cases that its quite complicated especially if the two of you are having ties already. This becomes more complicated when one soon confesses that the feelings haven't changed for years.This causes old fire to stir up once again and it might jeopardize the present relationship both of them are into. No matter what you do you would always be finding yourself talking about "what might have been" I guess there are a lot of old couple out there who became friends but this is something that one should think not only a hundred times.
4 people like this
10 responses
• United States
10 Mar 13
I am good friends with my ex's i have one over my house often and we sit and talk about things going on in each of oour lives. I don't go out with any of them but we are still good friends.
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 Mar 13
That's good to hear. I guess culture also plays an important part. There are some countries who have a majority of males or females have conflicts about it. It becomes a cause of fight between couples when the partner finds out that his or her partner is still having communication with his or her former relationships.
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14563)
• India
10 Mar 13
I also think that good friends can be good lovers and good lovers can be good friends.
@pavani27 (28)
10 Mar 13
Lovers can be good friends. But when once they are broken-up I dont think they can continue the feeling of friendship between them. Perhaps, it depends on the situations lead to breakup. Whatever it may be..some cultures dont allow such friendships. Like, they would be misunderstood and to avoid all this mess it would be better if they dont continue their friendship. If they could be so friendly after their breakup, what would be the necessity to breakup in the first?
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 Mar 13
This is where cultural differences come in. It is not just that open when it comes to befriending an old flame because intentions are being questioned that might lead conflicting ideas and feelings to those people involved. But it can also lead to friendship depending on the real cause of break up especially when there was no final closure.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Mar 13
I know a few friends who manage to keep friendship with their ex's and they are doing good at it. they even introduce their present wife/gf to their ex at some point. Remembering the old sweet days will unavoidably provoke a feeling of "trying again" but they say its all just a matter of self control.
2 people like this
@nitinnair89 (2895)
• India
10 Mar 13
Nopes. It matters as per the situation. If lovers were to become good friends then why the feeling of love between them? But if somehow they break up, then the friendship might come. That too depends on how they break apart from each other. But then again, can it be called friendship as they were formerly in love? Good post and makes people think about this fact. Thanks for sharing :)
2 people like this
@4ofmyown (1120)
• United States
10 Mar 13
My ex-husband and I are better friends now than we were before or during or marriage. I definitely think it is possible. I think as people get older and smarter we learn to appreciate people more for who they are and on levels other than sexually.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
10 Mar 13
I believe that lovers can become good friends. Some loers may even start their relationships together as friends. The bonds strengthen and so does the elationship, Now if the lovers part on bad terms, the bonds of friendship may weaken. it is still possible to be friends but it would not be the same relatinship.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
10 Mar 13
It is possible only when both the person have good understanding about their past relationship and what they are today. Not only this both the person must be open minded too.
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14563)
• India
10 Mar 13
I think that lovers can become good friends. I think it depends on people to people. I think it is good to have partners who can be good friends.
• Romania
10 Mar 13
Some people think it's possible, others don't. I think it's possible only when their relationship has really ended and both understand that they can't be lovers anymore.If one of them still has feelings i think it'll be hard to remain friends.
@rosekiss (30111)
• Eugene, Oregon
10 Mar 13
My ex husband and I werre married 35 years, when all of a sudden on christmas Eve, 2005, he said that we weren;t compatible anymore. That was so devastating to hear, that I cried for a long time, as I just couldn't believe that he would think about gettign a divorce after all those years. I wanted to talk things through to find out why he said what he said, but he never told me a thing, as he said there was nothi9ng to work out. Well, once i realized that he wasn't willing to work on our marriage, then I felt that maybe we should get a divorce. We have been divorced 6 years, and we are now better friends than we were husband and wife. It is ironic, but things happen that way sometimes. I have come to acept things the way they are, as I have to, as we will never get married again, and not to each other either. He calls me every day, and we talk for a bit, and i guess it makes me feel good that he does think of me as a good friend even though we can't be married anymore. So, yes lovers can become good friends. Take care, and have a great day.