Just wanting to give up and dye
By blackrusty
@blackrusty (3519)
Mexico
March 17, 2013 7:40am CST
Here we go again, My ex was here last night to return some of my stuff that he had at his house he never returned every thing that I asked for and he had to bring his father with him so I was told that I again could not move out of the place that I am in right now because I am paying for my bed and and Refrigerator that is on there credit or they will call the police and have me deported and to even insult me even more his father has paid me 500 peso's for the sears bill now mind you I have paid the sears bill since day one the month after I have moved here and never got one penny from them till last night well to make it even worse then it already is me and my room mate got into a fight I am having issues with my gas tank or water heater don't know witch the tank on my stove ran out of gas and I went to change the tanks like I always do from water heater to stove and that tank is empty or rather close to it as well well I get yelled at because I am a drinker and I smoke yes both bad habits and I have no money till last night to buy more gas and the coupe to top it all of is my ex went and canceled my sears card so stick a fork in me I am flippen done
11 responses
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
17 Mar 13
Things will sure get better for you. Now that the ex is out of the picture. Im sure thats a big problem the room mate has to deal with as well. Now everything can be great for you and the new room mate. Good luck to you.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
17 Mar 13
We all have stress, I go through it everyday here. As you know.. Have a great day there.
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
17 Mar 13
thank you maria it is hard and yes it is sad that i drink and smoke and that is the first thing well almost the first thing that I buy when I get paid and i drink non stop but I think as my plans are that I will be moving and I hope to gain control of my life again though I will still drink I hope that I will be able to slow it down alot now that all the stress will be gone
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
17 Mar 13
This is life with all its ups and downs and deep down you know this. Perhpas you could start to take charge of your life again? Can you start AA to help stop your drinking problem. You really need some professional gelp as from what you write it would appear that you are in a depression. Please seek help asap
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
17 Mar 13
thank you for the reply my drinking is more from stess then any thing else and the ex is the one that is to blame for it I will be ok it is just how i felt last night and how i felt when i woke up and I find that writing it out helps me how I don't know but it does
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
17 Mar 13
Of course writing helps. It helps because you are writing down what the problem is and in a way talking to us. When yhou begin to talk then the healing process is beginning
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
18 Mar 13
Years ago used drinking to get into that 'happy' place. Thought as long was in that happy place could deal with what life handed me. Now, I'm okay without it all but for a time I understand what you're saying. It's a dealing tool that sometimes is all you've got.
There are reason's ex's are called ex's and hope that things calm down for you. It's amazing and truely frightening that a person we once carried about can turn on you and be that flat out nasty. 
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
18 Mar 13
It's never easy when you still have shared things, dog, bills because there isn't any absolute cutting of ties. I would think he would have wanted to take his dog with him. ?
I just hope you find peace soon. It's not easy.
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
18 Mar 13
thank you for your reply and your right we he broke up with me we tried to be friends but then he would not do the things that was asked of him like come walk his dog 2 times a day and I walk the dog 2 times a day this ended any kind of friend as he would not do t even a small task
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
18 Mar 13
Well you can always stay or move, it is up to you rusty. What you can do maybe for the time being is find an ending? Seems like there are still unresolved money issues? Maybe see if you can get them settled or at least negotiated and then you too will have peace of mind.
You know I feel like we have developed some kind of internet friendship and I hope it is alright to give some advise though if you don't want or need any more right now just disregard this please. If you have money issues it would be a good goal to stop drinking and smoking though I know that is difficult to accomplish. You certainly need to be in the right state of mind to take that on.
Things always seem to get worse before they get better but we all need to believe they can get better. I know you do know at the very least that is always true. 
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
18 Mar 13
thank you for the reply and it is ok to give advise this is what we are all here for I am working hard to put an end to all of this and trying to move on with my life you will find that from time to time I will write out things here it is part of my own healing 
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
18 Mar 13
I see a great deal of value in doing this sort of thing. I may even do it one day myself. One thing I've thought about is just how long I want to continue it. Like you said there is a time to move on and getting constant reminders of the past might not work in that case.
That would be one time you would want to back out of a discussion and for a reason like I meantioned don't thing anyone would mind.
@MADAPAGMD (36)
• India
18 Mar 13
Life is with full of ups and down so never let urself down ..... and wait till every thing is fine again.....!!!
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
18 Mar 13
I will be ok I find that i get over it if I write how I fell and this was new to me to write here on my lot how I was feeling
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
17 Mar 13
In time none of this will matter anymore.. though I know it's hard to go through now.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
17 Mar 13
no dont ever do that for petty things and life is full of part and parcel of this matter and you need to ignore the fact that you are drinker and keep progressing
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
17 Mar 13
not to worry I am not doing anything stupid it was a rant and a way to heal myself
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
18 Mar 13
This sounds quite complicated. Sounds like you are being bullied by your ex and his father. I don't think it's ever good to use someone else's credit for similar reasons that you are going through right now. I wish you didn't have to go through so much termoil.
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
18 Mar 13
here in mexico you cant get credit of your own unless you belong here and a resedent of mexico with mexico id so it was just what happen yes bullied but if they keep it up I will move and leave it here and they can pay the bill them self as I am not going to have a stroke over them loosers
@francesca5 (1344)
•
17 Mar 13
the problem with exs is that the reason most of them are exs is because there was conflict in the relationship. A few relationships, I am sure, end because both partners were just too dull and boring, but not so many.
There isn't much you can do to change the fall out of a past relationship,the only thing you can really do is work out what went wrong, so that the next one is much better.
Though that is hard.
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
17 Mar 13
thank you for the reply I am doing my best to handle all the garbage in my life because of him and I will get on my life
@nitinnair89 (2900)
• India
17 Mar 13
Looks like you got a lot of bad stuffs on you at the same time. Just calm down and time will get you back on track. Take care friend.
