will you choose your family over personal fulfillment?
By cherigucchi
@cherigucchi (14879)
Philippines
March 27, 2013 5:55am CST
I remember the year when I felt positively that it was going to be a good year for me. We all experience that sometimes. Having my first trip abroad to attend a short scholarship program was too way over the top. I underwent a tough screening which was participated by educators from all over the country and the Department of Education picked me to represent the country. It felt like the whole new world opened up a new door for me. I felt liberated and my husband gave his full support.
When a job abroad came knocking at my door that same year, I felt I had to grab it. With all the good packages being offered I was very sure to take it. However, things took it turn and I needed to decide. there were considerations to think about and I found out that I was not ready for the trade off. I could not keep up the balance. Fear of being away from my family especially from my kids for quite a long time suddenly sunk in. The exchange of professional growth and providing good fortune for the family in place of leaving them behind put me off. I then thought that making better money must not overrule the values I adhered to ...keeping my family together, seeing the kids grow and the values i put on marriage.
And though my husband supported me, his silence said a thousand word which meant so much to me. He did not want me to go either and he was just caught between allowing me to grow on my own and keeping me for himself. It was him who always reminded me that holding the family together and keeping us secure as the family man have been his only desire. I have always been appreciative of what he has been doing for us...I never did ask for more.
Looking back now, I have never had any regrets in making that decision. My family matters to me a lot and it can never be traded off with all the luxuries and trophies that life has to offer.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@alpha9180 (301)
• Malaysia
27 Mar 13
I will choose my family - my spouse and children over my personal fulfillment for sure as they are the closes to me. But not with my brothers or sisters as they have their own respective family of their own. My children will need me when they are young but when they are grown up building their own family, it is time that I will allow them to be independent. However, the only person which I will always be together with is my spouse. I will not have the slightest thoughts of leaving my spouse for any luxuries ahead.
1 person likes this
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
29 Mar 13
I think when it comes to husband and children they should come before your personal fulfillment if you had them before the opportunity. But, if you have the personal fulfillment first then you can fit husband and children in later if you wish. As to family like siblings and parents and such. We are meant to spread our wings and fly so choosing personal fulfillment over them in natural. I would never choose a job that would make my move away from my boyfriend and any children we may have in the future though, because we have made a commitment to eachother already and it wouldn't be right to walk off for career advancement. Whatever life throws at me I will work with it to keep my commitment to him. The other stuff is not as important to me.
@cherigucchi (14879)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
we do share the same point of views. Anyway we can still fly and spread our wings not to the extent of moving away from them. There are still lots of opportunities along the way and if they are really meant for you then things will surely fall into place.
Thanks for your response.
@Pegasus72 (1898)
•
8 Apr 13
No family comes first. I tried the whole work till you drop and all it got me is a case of being sick, and now I am a stay at home mom who blogs and does jobs on her own time.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
28 Mar 13
It's a hard question. It seems that your husband is a bit selfish, and expects you to decide the way he wants to. Everyone has their personal dreams, their fulfilment, and I believe that it should be supported by the family. I would choose my family if I really had to sacrifice them and leave them forever, or have no quality time for them for ages, but otherwise, I would not let someone emotionally blackmail me. I would choose my own fulfilment, if I felt that I would not be happy if I didn't take that chance.
@cherigucchi (14879)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
No he's not. Youre taking it out of context. It was really my decision not to go through with it. He actually supported me all the way in fact he allows me to grow in terms of my profession. It was also my kids who made me decide not to go because they are still young. I know that it would be difficult for them to have their mother away from them. I personally believe that it is better that the husband who travels far rather than the wife.
@kareng (54724)
• United States
27 Mar 13
I would have to choose family. Kids grow up so fast. My husband missed a lot of the parenting and activities of our children that make memories than can never be replays so to speak. I have worked my whole married life except for maternity leave or time off for surgeries. I worked out of necessity to keep the family in clothing, extra activities, and to help pay bills. If I had been given the choice of not having to work, I would have gladly taken it. I also missed out on a lot of things with my kids and now that they are grown, I see what I missed.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
I couldn' t imaginr mysrlf being in a place where I am suppised to feel fullfillment when I know thst ot would inflict pain on my family. I would rather stick with my family all the timr. I may not be able to be the best thst I want to be, but at least I could do the best th as t I can do for my family's sake.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
MY family always comes first. Though i may love something to buy, but its the need of the family that comes first, as always.
@pahak627 (4558)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
You made a good decision. If ever another opportunity knocks and your children are already in their early adulthood then you may grab it immediately but while your children are still growing up it's not advisable to be far from them. I have an example for this. My husband's cousin married a woman who wanted to be successful in her life financially. She went abroad though her children were yet very young. Now , the two older daughters dropped out from school and live a life full of laughter with their friends. However her son, the youngest is still in school. However, he sometimes cuts classes because he is addicted to the Internet. I don't know how many families are similarly situated. The children are the ones who will suffer.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
27 Mar 13
It depends on what you call family. I Always sacrified myself for everybody (family, friends, neighbours, strangers) but nobody ever did the same for me. So I can say I wasted my life, a lot of money, and I lived way more poor as I ever should be if I would have used my common sense. My family (except my children) don't mean anything to me and I would not choose them above my own personal fulfillment. I care about my children but if it comes to the oldest they have to take care of themselves. My only concern is the youngest two and by now I am taking more and more care of myself in the first place. I sacrified way too much and it even did cost me a big part of my health. To me it feels I am running out of time and I never been to me. This is one of the worst thing to discover.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
27 Mar 13
i will not. maybe if i have a family of my own.. i would choose them. but with my sisters (my family now) i can.. i just go wherever and whenever I like. hehehe...
but when it comes to CHILDREN, I may not. it is okay.. they are going to be my SELF FULFILLMENT already.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
Yes, and that's what I did now. I was made to choose between my family and pursuing my dream and I chose the first one. It was a difficult choice to make but my family is the most important thing in my life. There are still times that I ask myself about what ifs but I never regret my decision of choosing my family.
