Should Children Be Seen and Not Heard?

United States
April 14, 2013 4:36pm CST
I've heard people say this a lot over the years and while on one hand I think that is a bad policy to basically tell your kids to shut up around grown ups... I also see a little bit of wisdom to this policy too. I hate it when I'm talking to an adult and we are teasing and talking and their kid pipes up with snide and sarcastic remarks to me. I don't like it when adults do that to other adults either, much less when it shows the child has no respect or boundries at all. Do you think kids should be taught to keep their mouths shut sometimes?
2 people like this
12 responses
@marguicha (94925)
• Chile
14 Apr 13
Children sholud be taught to participate. But that does not mean turning them to statues. I don`t accept an answer like "jsut because..." from my grandchildren, but I don`t accept that from anyone. I want to be surrounded by thinking beings. And a child that has been raised that way can understand that sometimes other people will want to talk alone (just as they, also, need that space for their friends and them). Boundaries have to be taught showing respect.
1 person likes this
@1corner (744)
• Canada
15 Apr 13
I second this!
@marguicha (94925)
• Chile
15 Apr 13
Thanks!
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
14 Apr 13
I wonder sometimes why people even have kids. I knoW a lady here she tells her kids all the time. Go to your rooms I dont want to see you. or I could kill you...
• United States
14 Apr 13
Having children is certainly not for everyone. But, children are our future. If no one had children then life as we know it would eventually die out. Problem is that so many people are not raising their children properly and we are going to end up with a whole generation of children that kills off the rest of humanity or something. Balance is good. But, that woman you are talking about sounds like one that should not even bother having children. That is abusive to say to her children.
16 Apr 13
outch mariaperalta, Is that true? Why thhe lady doing that into her kids? those word is so abusive like what dismaldrin say, and also it has lot's of bad effects that on those child. It's really horrible knowing that many of parent's didn't know how to take care of their child while other couple is willing to have these kind of blessing but did not have luck to become a parents.
• Mexico
16 Apr 13
Sure is, I hate when people treat kids that way. Makes me so darn mad.. :(
@blackrusty (3532)
• Mexico
14 Apr 13
well as i see it young kids should be taught to respect adults so yes when adults are talking they should not be heard from and when they get to the right age when they can handle it what ever that age is then they can be brought in
• United States
14 Apr 13
I agree with you there. And, I think they shouldn't get smart with an adult when it is not their conversation either. I know that these manners take time to instill, I just always wonder why this is not an important thing to teach children for some parents.
• Mexico
14 Apr 13
I cant even begin to wonder why and it is sad there are some of the kids i have seen I would get a roll of duct tape out and use the whole roll on the kid
• United States
14 Apr 13
I grew up with this meaning that you can be in the same room with adults but you can't concern yourself with what they are talking about. as I grew up my mother always said,little people have big ears. so,she knew what we could not hear and she would not talk about it around us. now,with all that is going on in the world today,I think kids need to be heard because they could be in real danger of someone and because they are taught to shut up they learn to keep quiet about stuff. so,no way would i want a child to be around me and feel they could not talk. no way.
• United States
14 Apr 13
Yes, that is what I was trying to say, I think it is important to speak in their time and place. That it just isn't right for them to butt into conversations that have nothing to do with them and disrespect an adult in the process. But, I also think kids should feel free to talk to their parents or other authority figures in their life when something needs to be talked about. Just this idea that kids can just open their mouths and tell an adult off in the middle of a conversation with another adult that I don't think is called for.
16 Apr 13
hi dismalgrin, in my point of view. I think as a parents we must teach our child to respect other people whether same age or not-mostly for adults. Thy should know when they must and not to talk. I suddenly remembered my niece- sometimes It so annoying whenever she teased me, up to the point that it really get into my vain hayyy. My niece is just only 2 years old and nine months, I think she get that attitude in her mother who also do the same thing. The kids already adopt this kind of attitude in her mom.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
15 Apr 13
That saying is not common hear , I have never heard anyone use it here only on television . I dont agree with it , children or not invisible and we should not treat them that way . Children should be though to be wiser so if the conversation is not a friendly or one a child mind can understand there would be no need for that child to be there . Adult should know how to talk around their child they know them personally all child is different .
• United States
15 Apr 13
I think children should not interfere with adult conversation but I donot think telling a child to shut up is a good thing either. The child's parent should explain that they are talking to adults and we can talk the subject later if it is appropriate for children.
@ShyBear88 (17427)
• United States
15 Apr 13
I hate that kind of thing where people think that child should only been since. They have every right to talk just as much as adults and its about teaching a child if you need to say something to say excuse me. So what if there is an accident or something and your not listening because you rather talk to an adult and your in an adult conversation they have to say quite and not talk till your done, there some people that just don't stop talking at all and will go on and on. It doesn't bother me if my kids interrupted me while my talking becaus they are more important then some conversation with another adult.
@mzz663 (2775)
• United States
15 Apr 13
I was one of those kids that were raised to be seen and not heard and I really think it's a bed idea to teach your kids this. Until I got a lot older I had really bad social skill around my peers. I always let other people have their say without me having mine. With my kids, I let them speak their mind but I also taught them not to interrupt a conversation. They learned to respect adults and be respectful but also that they didn't have to show respect to those that showed them none. I was also brought up to speak only when spoken to and between that and being seen and not heard was like having a deaf mute child that wouldn't speak up for them self. It took me a long time to gain social skills as an adult. Why not teach them to kids when they're young? I also think telling your kids to shut up around other adults is leaving an opening for an abuser/predator to take advantage of a kid because they know this kid has no one to talk to since they're always 'shushed'
15 Apr 13
yes, it somehow tells them that they have set of boundaries that they can't do anything they want, it's like training them the set of limitations we put on them and there is a right time for them to do so, taking it slow and wait for their turn, small actions will teach them discipline when to speak and when is there right turn like right action for right age not rushing things up in a broader sense
@tinayu (214)
• China
15 Apr 13
making noise is the nature character of children. while adults are talking,they certainly don't want to be disturbed.but the parents must see their children so as to avoid some dangerous things. i think we can keep a not far distance between adults and children,adults can talk in one place where they can see their children playing in other place.well,raising a child is such a troublesome thing but great.
@GardenGerty (99411)
• United States
14 Apr 13
Children need to know when it is okay to join in a conversation and they should be taught that they are not just grownups in little clothes and they cannot do and say all that the grownups in their lives do.