Aww!!! I can't make eye contact with good looking girls of my age group?
July 27, 2013 12:23pm CST
I was Ok!Back when I was still in my primary classes,then I got cut off from them,coz I went to a 'boys only' high school.So now I am in college and back in touch with them,but I feel very uneasy while talking to them!I know that girls like confident guys,but I feel very uneasy when there are a lot of girls around me. Disease:Unknown Symptoms: 1)Sweating a lot and faster heartbeats.Sometimes breathing become difficult too. 2)Can't make eye contact for too long,feel the urge to pull my eyes away. 3)It is alright when I am chatting online. Most of the girls think that, I am creepy and don't really care about them.I want to lose this bad habit of mine.What is happening to me?Have anyone of you had gone through this before?How did you overcome it? I just wanna have a decent life.
• Greenwood, Mississippi
27 Jul 13
I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself which is what is making you nervous. When you meet a new girl, don't think of her as a potential love interest; just think of her as a person. If there will be a connection between the two of you, it will happen in its own time...it's not something you can will to happen. I know some people think guys should pretend to be confident even when they're not ("fake it until you make it" the strategy is sometimes called), but I don't think this is such a great strategy...I think I'd rather be known as the nervous type of guy than gain a reputation for being the creepy guy who is always staring at girls and making them feel uncomfortable (which is how you might come across if you try too hard to seem confident and eager to make eye contact).
3 people like this
• Grande Prairie, Alberta
29 Jul 13
You're putting to much value on the outcome. You are thinking five minutes ahead of the convo when you are in it. You're fear is rejection. But its because you care if they like you or want you. Just keep in your mind the wants you have with them but only allow words out that are "friendly". They will feel the vibe you are giving off, but won't be creeped out by the words. If you don't say things that allow for rejection then you can't get rejected. Only get a number or a second meeting after they have thrown 3 shows of interest your way. Maybe they ask you a random question, they hit you after you made a funny pervy joke, or they are lost in curiosity at the fact that you haven't asked them out and you are just legitimately having a conversation with them. Women are human. They aren't some crazy impossible to understand creature haha. They move towards comfort and pleasure and away from discomfort and fear. So their primary concern is first to trust you. They will trust you if you are casual and fun. Trust is number one for attraction. Once a woman trusts you some of their walls and defenses come down, then you make them laugh by not caring if you get rejected because YOU AREN'T GOING TO ASK THEM OUT ANYWAY. A woman will pursue you. And the ones that don't because they are to timid, you say this to them: "Hey, it was really nice talking to you, I've got to run now, but i wouldn't mind talking to you again sometime. Whats the easiest way to get a hold of you?" When you use this phrase you take away pressure that they could feel. Remember, they will run away from fear, so by asking the "whats the easiest way to get a hold of you?" question you give them options. 9 out f 10 times you will get a number. If not, there facebook. And if not that, then maybe they will say come in to my work where I waitress or my friends and I are going out to this bar on Friday. Then you say ok sounds good, maybe I'll see you out then. Simple, then from there keep up the chill attitude, run this on ten girls and you will be sure to have a few of them pursuing you as a result. Its waaaaaaay better to be the one being pursued than the one doing the pursuing. Hope that helps.
3 Sep 13
I guess you are too nervous, just take it easy and start in phases, first get confident by making eye contact, then other problems will also go away eventually, just remember one thing you might loose a girl whom you like very much because of this habit. Good luck!
• Sri Lanka
30 Jul 13
This is called social phobia. It is due to anxiety. You may be thinking that they may make negative remarks on you. That is not correct. The treatment is EXPOSURE. First try to look at photos. Then you look at faces in video. Then start to look at known persons. Then you look at and also associate with strangers. Remember that you have to associate with them till your anxiety disappear. if you avoid or come early it will increase it. GOOD LUCK!
28 Jul 13
Friend, as you are amidst of girls only after school it happens. I was among boys till the end of my college life. After entering into a job in the office I felt much uneasy initially as I was mingling with them first time. Now it is not so. Don't worry it will go off automatically in coming days. Dont be away from them just share your ideas with them though it is bit difficult initially