Trying to Pattern-after God ... Why I'm Angry (a Fear) ... What God Is Looking-for?

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http://purer-power.blogspot.com/2015/07/fear-one-of-only-two-emotions.html I know "You're not God, Harry!" and I'm not claiming to be. But Christianity is BUILT on a man who became God, and HE called us all His "brothers" ... not the point ... The point is ... somewhere in the following paragraphs. This was inspired by a misunderstanding between me and a friend-of-mine (mostly her misunderstanding, though I probably regret some things I said, -did, -didn't do & -didn't say as well). She & I and a bunch of our co-workers went on a trip to Red River, New Mexico. It was fun, and we had a lot of good times. But I can't find (looking on Facebook for pictures I'm in) any pictures of people posing with me at any time during the camp! That 'grinds my gears' because I can distinctly remember at least two times when I 'struggled' to be in a posed picture with my friends (to help remember the fun we had together), but none of them would wait for ME to pose with them! If I'm relaxed about it, I can just 'chalk it up to "another missed-moment"' (and we ALL have PLENTY of those); but a bit of Fear enters in when I think of 'why I missed one- or another moment' (my brain-injury makes me a bit slower walking, and people either are very-impatient or don't believe a 'picturesque moment' will wait with them), and I 'reason' myself into believing that NO ONE WANTS TO REMEMBER HAVING BEEN THERE with ME!! Maybe that's why God (as the Holy Bible describes him in the Old Testament---our creator, life-giver and empower-er) wants us to worship him-&-only-him---because if no one remembers him, it's like he doesn't exist! What is God's purpose anyway? I don't mean "what does he do for us" ... I know what you know he does---I mean 'what's HIS reason for being?' I can only guess that it's to "Be Fruitful & Multiply" (as he commanded Adam). Then again, maybe it's 'peace with himself, satisfaction that his job is proceeding well (will be "well done" when finished)'---'being fruitful & multiplying' being a central theme in the project. I'm not taking the 'have lots of healthy babies'-interpretation of that command, but rather the 'have lots of profitable and/or joyful ideas and bring them into reality'-interpretation ... the way that God (as he is "the only God") probably means it for himself. And if we don't remember him as God of all, he'll feel like we're "stealing" from him "the fruit of his labor" (like I felt 'the fruit of my struggle to approach the posing friends' had been STOLEN by their impatience). My friend thinks she can clear up the whole misunderstanding with "Why didn't you SAY SOMETHING? We would've waited?" I could come up with a bunch of 'I shouldn't HAVE TO'-excuses (and I DID use such excuses )--possibly even citing God's reaction to the false idols BEFORE Moses brought down the first Commandment-- But that's my share of our guilt. How can we make up to each other (her, me ... AND the rest of our friends, whom I think we're instinctively 'protecting' from the guilt). 'Make up' for what? Well, from my perspective: not being as 'publicly loved' as I felt I would be. From her's: my angry reaction to what should be happy memories (for her). Of course, I could stop reacting to past 'wrongings.' But I can't do that until the unloved memories are crowded out by memories of agape (love, the only other emotion)! ... maybe 'Posing for Lots of Pictures on an Upcoming Road-Trip'? or (maybe a little more work, but we can do it sooner) 'for all of our friends to Join MyLot and interact'? What do you think we should do?