The Last Waltz

Tweet

For some reason, The Man put the movie The Last Waltz on television this evening. Strange, because it was one of my movies - that is, it is one of the movies I have loved and watched so many times through the years and I introduced him to it. It's a 1978 film directed by Martin Scorcese that documents the final concert tour of the group The Band. The group had several hits and albums of their own and were often the backup band for Bob Dylan. There are some great guest performances by Joni Mitchell, Muddy Waters, Dr John, Emmylou Harris, Neil Young and of course, Bob Dylan. And although I have seen it many times, today my enjoyment of the music was tinged with a bit of sadness. It's the same when I watch so many of my favorite old movies and television shows. I am not the only one who is older, all of these guys are so much older. And there isn't as much joy in watching anymore. When The Boy was younger and watched more television with me, I always watched a lot of older television shows in reruns. And inevitably, he would turn to me and ask "Is everyone in this show dead?" I tried to find someone in the show who was still alive. Sometimes it was just one person. "Little Ricky is still alive, but Lucy and Ricky died years ago", I would tell him. I wonder if it is these beloved characters from my past that I miss so much, or if it is my childhood that I am mourning. Days of innocent laughter at the antics of the characters on my favorite sitcom, days of loudly singing along with the musical groups of years past and yet, as time passes, it gets harder and harder to relive those feelings, to recreate the fun. Time and the passing of youth makes even the comedy seem somewhat solemn. I am left with a "Gawd, I am old" sort of disconnect with the world around me. Who understands my references? So few. Who will understand them in ten years, in twenty? Do I dare to hope for thirty more? Will I be the crazy old lady insisting that someone turn the television channel to I Love Lucy while the young nursing home attendants wonder what I am talking about? The Boy will remember Lucy, and he will know that everyone on the show is dead, except Little Ricky. But that could change, he's getting up there too. I don't like seeing people forgotten, and one day I will be among the forgotten. Our days in the sun are so few and no one knows what comes in the night ahead.