Tales from the Office: Talking to himself

@boiboing (13153)
Northampton, England
November 23, 2015 9:16am CST
Today we had an international conference call with our 'big boss' in the USA. About 40-50 people were invited and, since this guy never sends any notes before or after, we all feel we'd better dial in 'just in case' we miss something important. Truth to tell, I don't think we ever have done yet, but you never know when something REALLY big might come up. Today we dialled in at noon UK time - that's 7 am in the Atlanta and a lot earlier for our poor colleague in Utah. Nobody's really at their best so early and toady we all sat listening to......nothing. The time ticked on. After 8 minutes and lots of messages sent between people on the call, we came to the conclusion that the boss was either not there, or had put himself 'on mute'. My direct boss spoke up and asked and sure enough, the big boss had just spent nearly 10 minutes talking to himself. Not so unusual really. Most of the time he's the only person who has a clue what he's talking about but this time he really was just talking to himself. I'm sure he agreed with everything he said.
19 people like this
20 responses
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
23 Nov 15
HAHAHAHAHAHAH, he talked to himself for 8 minutes, wow. gotta love bosses....
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Nov 15
Yeah you have, they never know what they are on with, makes you wonder how they got the job in the first place.
2 people like this
• Centralia, Missouri
23 Nov 15
@boiboing oooooo, totally excited for this now too!
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 15
I decided due to your enthusiasm for 'Tales of the Village' to start doing some Tales of the Office too.
2 people like this
@Vivenda (583)
• Portsmouth, England
23 Nov 15
At least the hot air probably warmed up his office!
2 people like this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 15
Yes indeed. Sounds like you know him well.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130292)
• India
24 Nov 15
We call it soliloquy when people talk to themselves but that kind of talking to themselves that you are referring to is hilarious. There was no resistance from anyone and so he must have proceeded further.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130292)
• India
24 Nov 15
@boiboing But it was not deliberate. Right?
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
24 Nov 15
@allknowing No, he was just being stupid.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
24 Nov 15
It's the first time that nobody could argue with what he said - but only because they didn't hear it.
• Preston, England
23 Nov 15
I have known such bosses over the years too
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (207442)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Nov 15
My least favorite are the ones who feel their power is challenged when you do something proactive without "consulting with them"
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
23 Nov 15
@TheHorse yes they feel as though you are after their job and behave in a way that proves you could do it better
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (207442)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Nov 15
@arthurchappell Right. Those tend to be the ones who are in above their heads and feel threatened all the time.
@Drosophila (16573)
• Ireland
24 Nov 15
Lol.. reminds me of those meetings I had in my old job.. 90% of the time talking about what to do.. then left with 10% of time to get it done. Often whats done is not whats "planned". Anyways..
@Drosophila (16573)
• Ireland
24 Nov 15
@boiboing Yep, I eventually got "let-go" so my ex boss could keep his less competent mates employed instead. Purely cos they all loved to sit around and talk grandeur, yet non of them know how to realise it. ah well.. good old times.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
24 Nov 15
@Drosophila Better out than in in that case. But redundancy hurts like hell.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
24 Nov 15
Sounds like you're better off out of there
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
23 Nov 15
At least that's marginally better than failing to realise he's connected and then slagging someone off who has dialled in!! Less entertaining for you but marginally better for him!!
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 15
That sounds like you're speaking from bitter experience.
2 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
23 Nov 15
@boiboing I was once in a room when a colleague thought the call had been disconnected and was less than complimentary towards someone at the other end. I also behave in exactly the same way regardless of whether or not the mute button has been pressed. Just in case it hasn't!!
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47132)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
24 Nov 15
That's kind of funny. Well, it is for me, as I'm sure it was for others who have read this, and who were present for the call. I'm not sure if your boss finds it funny.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
24 Nov 15
I'm not sure that he has a sense of humour.
@jstory07 (135007)
• Roseburg, Oregon
23 Nov 15
I bet he did agree with everything he said so all is right with the world in his eyes.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 15
Certainly nobody interrupted him for those 8 minutes.
@sofssu (23662)
24 Nov 15
LOL sounds like you had a boring conference call at work. I used to take them at home at almost midnight and most often it was absolutely worthless.. The guy on the other end never gave any worthwhile information.. But since he was my boss.. I had to listen to him.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
24 Nov 15
Yes, that sounds like my life.
• United States
23 Nov 15
That's a lot of people on a conference call they must have improved the system over the years as when I worked 10 on a call was about all they could do w/o loosing quality.
• United States
23 Nov 15
@boiboing That goes for the brains of many bosses! In my working life of 35 years I had one really really really bad one- naturally he was the last one so his memory lingers way too long.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 15
Oh they can do a lot these days technically. Shame is they can't improve the big boss's brain.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 15
@AbbyGreenhill there is nothing worse than a terrible boss.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (207442)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Nov 15
Was the call productive in any way? CEOs probably gradually become "figure heads," or "titular heads," without much of use to offer.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 15
@TheHorse Oh sometimes I would prefer one who said 'no' - or better still one who actually understood the question.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 15
This guy is terrible. All the other functions know he's clueless so when they can't get what they want from the rest of us, they go to him because he says yes to everything.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (207442)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Nov 15
@boiboing Better yes than no, I suppose. I've had some pretty incompetent bosses in my time. You learn to "please" them so you can do your job.
@Katlynn (366)
• United States
24 Nov 15
I have no doubt that he agreed with everything he said. That's one way to win all arguments!
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
24 Nov 15
It's why I talk to myself. I always agree.
1 person likes this
@paigea (35822)
• Canada
23 Nov 15
Ha ha ha. That is one way to get no arguments.
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
24 Nov 15
He wouldn't listen even if we did argue.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Nov 15
Lol! Such a cool Boss u got :p
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
24 Nov 15
Oh I wish!
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
23 Nov 15
What a numpty! I have attended video conference calls like that (it was quite a new technique in those days and I think it required four phone lines and was very expensive). To be honest, I have rarely heard the CEO of companies I've worked for say anything really meaningful or exciting. I believe that they all go to a special school to learn how to say nothing at great length!
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
23 Nov 15
They share that skill with politicians.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Nov 15
So it was a short call then lol
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
24 Nov 15
I can relate . Sometimes we have a meeting like that - just beating around the bush with some who are reporting about their accomplishments .
@gudheart (12659)
24 Nov 15
LOL I feel like most meetings at my place are a waste of time or either hold too many expectations of what they expect us to achieve.
@Traceyjayne (1769)
• United Kingdom
23 Nov 15
yes, its a shame that these things do not always work out.
@Lucky15 (37346)
• Philippines
24 Nov 15
Ahaha. I see myself like that during.my last meeting