The Portrait Of A Bloke Who Knew Dorian Grey

Preston, England
December 7, 2015 11:22am CST
Dear Dorian, When I congratulated you on not looking a day older than when we went to school together twenty years ago, you recommended an unusual beauty treatment to me, namely getting my portrait done by a good friend of yours. That portrait is in my attic, and now, a further twenty years on, I find that it looks exactly the same as the day I bought it, and rather abstract, with my face painted cuboid, and me lying on a badly made bed, surrounded by wildebeest. You remain in porcelain perfection, while I am covered in wrinkles, and losing both hair and teeth. Why pray tell, am I falling apart and going down with arthritis? Yours, Arthur Dorian replied; My dear friend Arthur, It seems you met my artist’s apprentice, Picasso Dali-Emin, who was fresh out of soul-stealing blood red paint. I am terribly sorry. Will you be attending my 205th birthday party on Saturday? D Grey. Arthur Chappell
10 people like this
7 responses
@Asylum (48283)
• Manchester, England
7 Dec 15
I thought that the original story by Oscar Wilde was unusual, but this version is virtually surreal.
2 people like this
• Preston, England
8 Dec 15
very surreal - hence the reference to Dali
@Asylum (48283)
• Manchester, England
8 Dec 15
@arthurchappell That guy was not just surreal but clearly insane. He painted some magnificent material, but was a total weirdo.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
8 Dec 15
@Asylum That's why I love him so much
@Jessicalynnt (47791)
• Centralia, Missouri
7 Dec 15
lol prob better that way, who's soul does the pain steal? lol
2 people like this
@amadeo (61398)
• United States
7 Dec 15
I enjoy this short here.Very nice
2 people like this
@GreatMartin (4307)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
8 Dec 15
Dear Arthur, Sell the Picasso and with that kind of money you can be whatever age and look like whatever you want to! I know--I was scammed by Vincent Van Gogh and that's what I did which is why at 80 I look/act/sound 20! Martin The Leap Year Baby!
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (65366)
• Roseburg, Oregon
8 Dec 15
I enjoyed reading this for sure.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16742)
• Ireland
7 Dec 15
Who is Dorian dating these days?
• Preston, England
7 Dec 15
Alas he vanished about the time his painting fell out of the attic.
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16742)
• Ireland
7 Dec 15
2 people like this
@just4him (109654)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
8 Dec 15
Good one!