Am I the only one around here that afraid with marriage? (5 FEARS)
@sakeguci (80)
Tangerang, Indonesia
December 8, 2015 10:39pm CST
i almost twenty years old but i'm still afraid about getting a marriage
WHAT DO I FEAR OF MARRIAGE:
1. BIG RESPONBILITY, if i marrying someone then i have to take the responsibility for the people that i married for, if someday i have a child then my responsibility will increase to take care all of my family, and i fear i can't take that all and make my family live in suffer
2. LOST ALL MY FRIENDS, of course, if you marrying someone, you have to take care your family, and you won't have time with your friends anymore. and if you have a chance go with your friend, will your family agree with you having fun with your friend?
3. LIMITED FREEDOM , when you already married of course you can't act so childish in front of your family, and it make me more scare with marriage ;(
4. TRUST, when the first day you marrying someone, maybe you can trust him/her, but if the marriage has lasted a long time can you trust him/her? maybe it will make you or him or her fell suspicious what in your family have done. :v
5. and I fear when someone read this post it will make them more scare with the marriage
If someone can give me a suggestion just respond it, it means a lot to me thanks
6 people like this
9 responses
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
9 Dec 15
Marriage can definitely be a very scary thing. I was married once and things did not go as well as I had thought it should or would. You have a lot of responsibility, and yes family does come first. I think though, that when you are ready to marry it will just happen. There will come a time when you forget the fears you have and are just happy and ready to settle down.
4 people like this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
9 Dec 15
3 responses and all three, even yours, say marriage is a baaaad idea.
hope he gets the message
I havent even been married and i think its an awful invention.
I think divorce lawyers invented marriage as their pension plans.
I havent even been married and i think its an awful invention.
I think divorce lawyers invented marriage as their pension plans.2 people like this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
9 Dec 15
@Mike197602 I have to say I don't plan to ever get married again. I have a friend who says she might as well go to school to be a divorce lawyer as that is where the money is at. 
3 people like this
i will think again it later thanks @Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
9 Dec 15
Dont do it mate.
marriage is a mugs game...like gambling.
just remember...the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
just get a girlfriend, then get engaged and make it a very very loooooooooong engagement
4 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Dec 15
wow you surely are soured on marriage. 'b ut if y ou really love the other person and he loves you it can be a pretty lovely thing marriage. Im widowed now b ut I had 33 years of marriage to the love of ,,my life happy years but we had our
downs too but we were partners who s upported each other.
remember life has never promised us a rose gardem. we have toplant those roses our selves lol lol lol
@onlinetomakemoney (605)
• Australia
9 Dec 15
So I have been married for over 16 years with 5 kids and had more issues and happiness than can be described. Are there things I would change. YES. but it's all a learning experience.
I hope my responses to your thoughts will help in some way.
1. BIG RESPONSIBILITY,Yes. It's a huge responsibility. The thing to remember is that it takes 2. The other person is also assuming some responsibility for you as well. 2. LOST ALL MY FRIENDS -- If you lose your friends because you get married than I would think twice about how good of friends they are. And also be thinking twice about the person you married and why they would expect you to give up your friends. 3. LIMITED FREEDOM -- The only freedom limits I have is the one that says I can't date anyone else. When you get married your partner should be able to accept you no matter how silly you get. ( 4. TRUST, -- When you marry someone I would have expected that trust is already something you have discussed otherwise you wouldn't have wanted to marry them in the first place 5. No one should be afraid of marriage only respectfull.
1 person likes this
@41CombedaleRoad (5952)
• Greece
9 Dec 15
This should really have put things into perspective. A great post for anyone to read before taking the plunge.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
9 Dec 15
If you are twenty years old, you could wait to get married for another 5 years.
All your apprehensions seem valid and it is entirely upto whether you want to get married or not?
Please try to find out among your near and dear ones, how many are there who decided not to get married and how many are there how tied the knot? You will find number of married people (in your near and dear ones) more than unmarried people.
1 person likes this
@sakeguci (80)
• Tangerang, Indonesia
9 Dec 15
@dpk262006 thanks mate, i will consider it 
means lot to me by the way
means lot to me by the way1 person likes this
@41CombedaleRoad (5952)
• Greece
9 Dec 15
You are simply not ready for marriage yet. Maybe you never will be, some people make better bachelors than husbands. I should add though some of those things you fear are related also to being a friend. If you think about those friends you are anxious to keep you may realise that you are already experience and cope with some of those fears within the confines of friendship.
1 person likes this
@41CombedaleRoad (5952)
• Greece
10 Dec 15
@sakeguci I'm glad it helped along with all the other good advice you have been given. If you change your mind about marriage it would make another good post. Best of luck.
thanks for that one 
@totobasso (331)
• Canada
9 Dec 15
Having had two wives that were cheaters and every girlfriend I ever had, I prefer to be alone, unless I really find a good woman.
3 people like this
@buenavida (9985)
• Sweden
9 Dec 15
I can understand that you are scared.. I was married a long time ago for some years, but for some reason he didn't like me and left. Since then I have not even had a boyfriend, and that is since 1978..
Being alone is not always easy, but it is not easy to get married at my age and learn to live with another person, even if he is a nice man. Will he be patient enough and accept me as I am? 
@OreoBrownie (3755)
• Commerce, Georgia
19 Dec 15
I am perplexed of what to tell you. I think you have a smart head on your shoulders. You have every right to be a little afraid,nor even a lot afraid.
Marriage is a lifetime pledge to your spouse. You already know this and I applaud your sincerity.
Friends come in second after marriage. Your first responsibility is to your spouse and children.
However, it is important to also make time for friends. Let your spouse become part of your friendships so he or she doesn't feel ignored.
About trust. Don't marry someone you don't know well enough to trust. Trust must be earned, so the earning of trust should start before marriage.
Now, you are not in marriage alone. It's not a burden you must carry. Marriage is a partnership with the one you love.
Lastly is love. Marry someone you love. Don't be pressured to pretend love. Don't marry until you found that person who deserves your faith in.
Hope that helps.
@jaboUK (64361)
• United Kingdom
9 Dec 15
You are obviously not ready for marriage yet, you are far too young. The only reason to get married is if you can't envisage life without that person. I have been happily married for 50 years and have absolutely no regrets. I was 25 when I married and my husband was 34, so we had a good idea what we wanted. So my advice to you is to wait.
