I got a letter from Santa

@Asylum (47893)

Manchester, England

December 18, 2015 4:30am CST

I have sent a letter to Santa every year, but have not had any response from him for decades now. Undeterred, I continue to try every year and finally got a response. Yesterday I received a reply back, although it was not quite what I was hoping for: 17th December 2015 Barry Manchester Hello Barry, Thank you for your letter informing me of what you would like for Christmas. However, I have been informed that you have been a Miserable Old Sod for most of the year and do not deserve any presents. I shall not be visiting your home on Christmas Eve, so you can keep your grotty mince pies and glass of cheap plonk. No Friend of yours, Santa Claus

23 people like this

20 responses

@LadyDuck (460346)

• Switzerland

18 Dec 15

I told you to behave Barry, you know that Santa knows everything. After all you can keep your mince pies and do not share with him.

1 person likes this

@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

Saving the mince pies is not such a great bonus because I always leave the old and stale ones out for him anyway. I did make the effort to be good one year, although I got fed up of that by 6th January.

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@LadyDuck (460346)

• Switzerland

18 Dec 15

@Asylum Now I understand, Santa was tired of old and stale mince pies. You still have a possibility for the next 6th of January.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

@LadyDuck Old and stale mince pies are all that the miserable reindeer riding moron deserves considering that he never brings me anything.

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@poehere (15126)

• French Polynesia

18 Dec 15

that is so funny. Sorry Barry for your rejection letter from Santa. Guess you will have to join the Grinch this year when celebrating the holidays.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

Oh wonderful, here I am pouring out my heart in the hope of some sympathy from my friends and everyone seems to find it amusing.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

@poehere A typical woman, no sympathy for us neglected few. Oh well, I shall just sit here and sulk quietly.

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@poehere (15126)

• French Polynesia

18 Dec 15

I think if you had told us it was a letter stained with tears we might of felt a little bit sorry for you. But a letter telling you that you aren't even his friend is a letter filled with laughter till the very end.

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Belle Starr (Iz)

@BelleStarr (61047)

• United States

18 Dec 15

Well obviously he has been keeping an eye on you and how many times have I told you not to try to serve him a glass of cheap plonk? (what exactly is cheap plonk?) lol milk and cookies does the trick!! My letter always begins "My dear Miss Belle!!!

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

@ElizabethWallace Whatever they call it I still think it is good enough for a mean Santa who never brings me anything.

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@MarshaMusselman (38723)

• Midland, Michigan

19 Dec 15

I see you're equally funny in your prose as you are in your poetry. I would never have thought you were the type to still be writing to Santa, and the same goes for mr Grinch, @PhredWreck too,

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

I would have given up a long while ago, but he still owes me some presents from the past and I am reluctant to just accept that.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

@MarshaMusselman Only Santa seems to have that opinion of me.

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@MarshaMusselman (38723)

• Midland, Michigan

19 Dec 15

@Asylum Ha, ha, ha. Even without prose or poetry you are quite the funny lad. (At least I didn't call you an old sod.

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ElizabethWallace

@ElizabethWallace (12074)

• United States

19 Dec 15

Is Miserable Old Sod a euphemism?

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

@ElizabethWallace I dread to think what he may say because his letter to me demonstrates how sarcastic he can be.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

How would I know? Santa wrote it so you will have to ask him.

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ElizabethWallace

@ElizabethWallace (12074)

• United States

19 Dec 15

@Asylum Nice. If his sense of humor is anything like yours, who knows what he might reply?

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@noblewriter (55)

• India

19 Dec 15

I think Santa has a suspense gift for you this Christmas and I hope he will surely visit you this festival. Advanced merry Christmas wishes.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

Now you have brightened up my day and given me renewed hope. Despite having not visited me for so many years, this is the first time that he has actually replied to inform me of his intention. It could well be that he intends to surprise me.

@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

@noblewriter I have been ready for it for the past 50 years.

@noblewriter (55)

• India

19 Dec 15

@Asylum Be ready to accept the long awaited gift. (:

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@kaka135 (14916)

• Malaysia

19 Dec 15

I think Santa is so kind, at least you get a reply from him and thus you won't be waiting for him endlessly...... So you can have all the food yours!

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

That is not a great benefit because I only ever leave the old and cheap stuff out for him, which I have no desire to eat myself.

@celticeagle (159936)

• Boise, Idaho

19 Dec 15

Ah, Barry. Didn't your mum train you better than this We can expect this of the Grinch but....!!

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

Santa started it because he does not bring me any presents anymore.

@rocky1980 (530)

• Chandigarh, India

19 Dec 15

You should try to find to those reliable sources of Santa, who providing your private information to Santa.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

I think that it must be those nosey elves. They are always lurking around spying on people.

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@allknowing (130292)

• India

19 Dec 15

This sure is a warning not to write to him ever again as Santa must have just ignored all your previous requests for the same reason that you have mentioned. Santa therefore thought 'enough is enough' may as we well spill the beans

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

Sadly that seems to be most likely the true reason. He is supposed to be a fair man, but he is quite clearly prejudiced against "Naught" people.

Arthur Chappell

@arthurchappell (45002)

• Preston, England

18 Dec 15

PS - unlike Arthur Chappell who is such a saint that he will receive a solid gold Rolls-Royce and a chance to date the supermodel of his choice - Santa

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

No wonder there is nothing left by the time he starts considering me, all you Goody two shoes are hogging all his expenditure.

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@softbabe44 (5816)

• Vancouver, Washington

19 Dec 15

Did you get a present?

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

Yes, but not for over 50 years now.

@garymarsh6 (23393)

• United Kingdom

19 Dec 15

He has got you sussed out then so sod him. You enjoy your mince pies but up grade a bit on the cheap plonk. With your Christmas bonus I am sure you could splash out and treat yourself to a bottle of bubbles!

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

Yes, I suspect that it must be those devious little leves that have been spying on me. I only buy the cheap plonk for Santa because he never seems to turn up anyway, so this year I shall leave him out altogether.

@fishtiger58 (29823)

• Momence, Illinois

19 Dec 15

Put on that happy face and maybe just maybe next year will be better lol.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

19 Dec 15

I am becoming quite used to him leaving me out, but you are right I can always hope for better luck next year.

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@vandana7 (99106)

• India

18 Dec 15

Great. Now Santa will have time to visit me and spend more on gift for me.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

Oh excellent, was a typical selfish attitude.

@Bluedoll (16774)

• Canada

18 Dec 15

This sounds to me like a santa impersonator! I have a direct line to Santa Claus. Please tell me want you want for Christmas and I will pass it on.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

I was really hoping for a brain. Ever since I watched the film "The Wizard of Oz" I have envied that scarecrow. Of course it would have to come with instructions because I have never used one before.

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@PatZAnthony (14752)

• Charlotte, North Carolina

18 Dec 15

You are quite the joker!

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

You have obviously been sent by Santa to try to convince people that I am joking so that they will not know how mean he can be.

@Tampa_girl7 (49267)

• United States

18 Dec 15

Oh my, what a grumpy Santa.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

Yes he is, then I wonders why I never leave anything decent out for him. It would be a waste since he rarely arrives anyway.

@Marilynda1225 (80147)

• United States

18 Dec 15

Wow you aren't even getting coal...you must have been REALLY NAUGHTY

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

18 Dec 15

I have always been really naughty, but he still visited me many years ago. He must be becoming a grumpy old man in his old age.

@moffittjc (118795)

• Gainesville, Florida

19 Dec 15

I dare not write Santa a letter, for fear of what he may respond back with! I'm sure I've been on his naughty list for decades now!